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Talk:Hurricane Lorenzo (2007)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 05:57, 29 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    • … it formed in the Bay of Campeche off the east coast of Mexico from a tropical wave. — "east coast" here is imprecise, since it could mean the Caribbean. If anything, mention that the BoC is in the Gulf of Mexico.
    • … Lorenzo intensified from a 35 mph (55 km/h) tropical depression to an 80 mph (130 km/h) hurricane. — Both of these numbers should be hyphenated.
    • Overall there were six deaths in the country, five in Puebla and of which three were a family that perished in a landslide. — confusing sentence structure, please rephrase. Also, mention where the other death was located for completeness.
    • … it traversed much of the Caribbean Sea before developing an area thunderstorms on September 21. — fix
    • … Initially a Hurricane Hunters flight was scheduled to investigate the system — add comma after "initially"
    • … In its formative stages, the depression executed a small cyclonic loop.[1] — "cyclonic" is excessive jargon in this case.
    • Primarily affected along the coast were small fishing villages, — awkward passive voice
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    • The impact section is too small. See es:Huracán Lorenzo (2007) for more detail that could easily be added to the article.
    • Is an aftermath section needed in this case?
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Alright, I got the grammary stuff. Some of it I just changed around the wording (so it wasn't exactly your suggestion). As for the Spanish article, I think I got the majority of the good stuff out of it. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 20:37, 29 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The modifications are satisfactory. Passed. Titoxd(?!? - cool stuff) 06:50, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]