Talk:Hurricane Jerry (1989)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 23:13, 23 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Jerry developed from a tropical wave in the Bay of Campeche on October 12. Moving north-northwestward across the Gulf of Mexico, the depression strengthened into Tropical Storm Jerry early on the following day." - nowhere does this mention a depression forming

"most of them ~~were located~~ in the Galveston area" - do this both in the lede and later in the article

"Despite the issuance of a hurricane warning only eight hours prior to landfall, Jerry caused only three fatalities in Texas" - don't use two "only"s, and isn't the lack of deaths more of a factor of the small size?

Fixed the "only"s. I guess it could have been the small size, but I find it interesting how the hurricane warnings issued only eight hours before landfall.--12george1 (talk) 15:50, 24 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Maybe note somewhere that all damage totals are in 1989 USD? Right now there is no indication

"Jerry holds the latest date that a hurricane made landfall on the upper Texas coast. " - there was a hurricane that hit Texas in November in the 16th century, so you might want to clarify this. Also, it appears that Hurricane 6 in 1912 struck later

First of all, "upper Texas coast", so Hurricane 6 in 1912 doesn't count. The hurricane in the 16th century was in doubt as a tropical cyclone. I guess I will state the latest during the satellite era.--12george1 (talk) 15:50, 24 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"In Louisiana, approximately 8,000 people evacuated, 1,000 from Grand Isle and 7,000 others from Cameron Parish" - use dash, not a comma after "evacuated"

"To this day, the destroyed section of the highway was not been repaired" - technically, this source is from 2008, so maybe say that instead of "to this day"?

"A walkway and four boats were damaged at the Hanks Creek Marina, located on the eastern shore of Sam Rayburn Reservoir. The marina itself was deroofed." - merge these

"Strong winds from the storm in Liberty County downed at least 300 trees. The falling trees struck houses, mobile homes, cars, carports, and power lines in the cities of Cleveland and Liberty." - ditto

"Three people were killed when their car was either blown or washed off the Galveston Seawall during the storm" - either? What happened here

Neither the TCR or NCDC can clarify this.--12george1 (talk) 15:50, 24 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"A number of tree, power lines, and electrical poles, while signs and traffic lights were bent." - eh? You mention downed trees in the previous paragraph. How is this any different?

"were effected" - for TC articles, when it's a verb, it's "affected. If it's storm impacts, they are "effects". "effected" usually refers "to bring about", such as "effected change"

I really don't know why you organized the article like this, but you really have to reformat the Texas impact section. Any time you mention beach erosion, have that together. Have all of the tornado impacts in the same spot. There's no need to mention that windows were damaged in two separate paragraphs. All of the general wind damage, put it together, and don't go into such minor detail (like "a brick wall at an apartment complex collapsed", for example).

"On October 19, Governor of West Virginia Gaston Caperton toured flood-ravaged areas of the state, including Mingo and Logan counties" - and? Was there a state of emergency or anything?

" flash flooding caused destroyed or heavily damaged numerous businesses and homes" - rm a word

Not sure why that is a big deal, but fixed--12george1 (talk) 18:31, 24 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

All in all, decent article, just some questionable organizational things. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 23:13, 23 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]