Talk:Hurricane Henri/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 00:23, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
I plan to review this tonight. Note this is my first weather-related review, so I apologise in advance for any obvious mistakes. ツLunaEatsTuna (💬)— 00:23, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Placing this on hold for now. I will be able to do the spotcheck tomorrow. ツLunaEatsTuna (💬)— 04:53, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- LunaEatsTuna, I'm done with the suggestions you addressed, I'll wait on the references, but other than that, it looks good! Tails Wx 14:50, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Okay! I think everything looks good to go. I am now pleased to pass this article for GA status per your changes implemented. Congrats on a fantastic GA! ツLunaEatsTuna (💬)— 17:44, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- LunaEatsTuna, I'm done with the suggestions you addressed, I'll wait on the references, but other than that, it looks good! Tails Wx 14:50, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
Copyvio check
[edit]- "500 line crews and more than 200 street crews were" is pretty closely paraphrased from its source.
Earwig says everything else is good to go.
- Noted, will change. Tails Wx 13:28, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Done, though I'm not entirely confident in the change, I'll leave it up to you here. Tails Wx 14:49, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- It looks good to me! ツLunaEatsTuna (💬)— 17:31, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Done, though I'm not entirely confident in the change, I'll leave it up to you here. Tails Wx 14:49, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Noted, will change. Tails Wx 13:28, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
Files
[edit]All images are relevant, of high quality, and copyright-free:
File:Henri 2021-08-21 1805Z.jpg
: valid public domain rationale;File:Henri 2021 track.png
: valid public domain rationale;File:Henri 2021-08-17 1514Z.jpg
: valid public domain rationale;File:Henri 2021-08-22 1525Z.jpg
: valid public domain rationale.
- Noted, thanks! Tails Wx 13:19, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
Prose
[edit]- Lead
- "of the 2021 Atlantic hurricane season. Henri developed" – period should be a comma.
- "Eventually, Henri strengthened into a Category 1 hurricane," – the last sentence used soon after, so I would recommend putting a date for this.
- The second paragraph is really short and should be merged into the above. If it looks too long than perhaps the first few sentences of the lead could be made into their own paragraph, and the second paragraph could contain just the storm's history?
- Merged! Tails Wx 13:22, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Wikilink New England for the convince of non-American readers.
- "including cities such as New York City and Boston" – recommend just "New York" as this sentence already makes it clear that it is about the city.
- Meteorological history
- "That day, the National Hurricane Center" – recommend "That same day" – IMO it flows much better.
- "Early on August 16, the NHC" – recommend "In the early hours of August 16,"
- "were counteracted by northerly wind shear" – wikilink wind shear IMO.
- "moved slowly southwestward, steered around a ridge" – should be "steering" for the sentence to make sense.
- "Henri turned toward the north" – I think this should be "Henri turned towards the north" – ignore me if this is valid in American English though.
- Yeah, it's better without the "s" in toward. Thanks for the suggestion, though! Tails Wx 14:21, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- YKW, I've changed it. Thanks! Tails Wx 17:38, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Oh haha—noted! ツLunaEatsTuna (💬)— 17:44, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- YKW, I've changed it. Thanks! Tails Wx 17:38, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Yeah, it's better without the "s" in toward. Thanks for the suggestion, though! Tails Wx 14:21, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- "approached southern New England." – wikilink per my point above.
- "before becoming post-tropical later that same day." – wikilink post-tropical – I feel like this is a lot less known than, say, a storm or tropical depression.
- Preparations
- "When Henri started to move away from Bermuda" – what time/date?
- I would wikilink flash flooding.
- "saying "it ain't over until it's over", and" – is this quote really worth noting?
- Removed! Tails Wx 13:27, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- "that Henri wasn't as bad" – was not.
- "as it could have been." – perhaps something like "was not as bad as predicated/previously thought" etc. would sound better?
- Changed to "as previously anticipated". Tails Wx 13:27, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- "deployed FEMA" – I would spell out the full name with the abbreviation in parentheses as it seems this may not be a universally recognised name. i.e. the article for NASA is called by its initials.
- Impact
- "the then wettest hour" – "the then-wettest hour".
- "A concert, WE LOVE NYC: The Homecoming Concert, which" – I do not think the name of the concert is relevant here.
- Removed name of the concert, thanks! Tails Wx 13:27, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- "Henricks with 6 inches (150 mm)," – with does not look like the right word choice here,
- Removed! Tails Wx 14:43, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- "slightly more than 4 inches (100 mm) fall." – remove fall, or it could also be "slightly more than 4 inches (100 mm) of rainfall."
- "decreased greatly on August 23. with" – comma :0
- Added :) Tails Wx 14:43, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- "with 71 in Ulster County" – recommend "with 71 outages in Ulster County" for some clarity.
- "Overall, a few thousand people" – recommend "In total, a few thousand people"
- "None forced road closures." – eh, I feel like this sentence could be removed.
- "has made 2021 the" – "made 2021 the" – past-tense since 2021 is
luckilyover. - "however, these led to only few disruptions in service." – a few.
- "were out of power" – I think this should be "were without power".
- "In Cranston, 11 inches of rain fell," – how about "In Cranston, there were 11 inches of rainfall," instead?
- "75% of the town" – "75 percent" per MOS:%.
- "estimated 15 to 20%" – as above.
- I would remove the sentence starting "On the afternoon of August 22, A Four Boys Ice Cream posted a video on Facebook …" as it seems unnecessary, and perhaps adapt "The place was flooded with up 4 feet (1.2 m) of water," to "Some places were flooded with up 4 feet (1.2 m) of water," or something similar.
- Removed, changed! Tails Wx 14:43, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- "some up to 2 feet (61 cm) of water" – "some up to 2 feet (61 cm) high."
- Remove "as noted by the town police chief, Michael Zarro Jr." as unnecessary in this context.
- "five inches (170 mm) of rain fell in Ship Bottom," – duplicate link.
- "Over 248" – 248 what?
- Clarified! Tails Wx 14:43, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- "the game between the Boston Red Sox and Texas Rangers was postponed." – how about "the game between the Boston Red Sox and Texas Rangers had to be postponed."
- Wikilink waterspout.
- Aftermath
- "nearly 90%" – percent.
- "outages, on August 23, would" – reads awkwardly; recommend adding the date at the start of this sentence.
- "The RIDEM helped" – same point as with FEMA.
- "American Red Cross had helped" – just helped is fine.
- "Total homes had" – total homes?
Refs
[edit]Passes spotcheck—no concerns with refs 6, 26, 28, 40, 51, 60 or 74. Nice work!
Other
[edit]Short desc, portals, External links, navs, other templates and cats look good.
- Noted, thanks! Tails Wx 14:43, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
- Please add WP:ALT text if possible.