Talk:Hurricane Hazel/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Hi, I will be reviewing this article which is currently up for Good Article Nomination. I should have the full review out within a few hours. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 02:06, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

• Lead
  • The first paragraph looks good, just made some minor adjustments to punctuation and added some more wiki-links
  • The second paragraph mentions severe damage in the US but doesn't give a damage total.
  • The source for the damage total in Canada was in 2004 Canadian dollars, not 1954, so the damage is much less, roughly $100 million in US dollars in 1954 currency
• Met. history
  • In general, you say Hazel too many times, to avoid this, replace it with synonyms such as "the storm", "the cyclone", "the hurricane", etc...
  • In early October, a tropical wave moved off the coast of Africa, somewhat unusually, as most hurricanes formed as a result of these clusters of thunderstorms do so in September and before. I'm a bit unsure about this being factually correct and the wording is a bit awkward.
  • It was spotted on October 80 kilometres (50 mi) east of the island of Grenada was spotted, and was deemed sufficiently organized to be a tropical storm. Spotted is used twice, please reword to avoid this
  • From October 6 to October 9, it moved west and intensified in the Caribbean Sea without directly striking any land; the island of Curaçao, part of the Netherlands Antilles, located north of Venezuela, received some rain and strong winds as a result of Hazel passing to the north. Not sure its necessary to mention that it didn't directly impact places during the Met history. Per convention, it's best to only mention places when giving a location or landfall.
  • On October 10, Hazel made an abrupt turn to the north towards Haiti; as a whole, the storm proved to be very unpredictable, defying meteorologists' predictions on multiple occasions, which made even more dangerous. You should mention that it slowed down before it made the turn.
  • Hazel went through the Windward Passage, between Cuba and the island of Hispaniola, and quickly went northwest towards the East Coast of the US, passing the southeast part of the Bahamas along the way. reword to avoid double usage of went
  • You don't mention any intensity other than TS until it became a Cat:4. You should mention when it became a Cat:3, Cat:4 and the intensity near Hispanola.
  • Can you move the rainfall information to impact in Canada? It's not considered part of the Met. history.
  • No longer hurricane-strength, the storm then continued into Northern Ontario, and to Northern Quebec via James Bay, losing most of its remaining power over sparsely populated areas. By the time Hazel had left, 81 people died in Ontario. Hazel had only fully dissipated by October 18. This stubby section is a bit odd, can you merge it with the last paragraph and remove the impact portion.
• Preparations
  • Link all place names to respective articles
  • American planes had observed the intensifying storm north in the Atlantic Ocean along the East Coast, and after going north of Florida into cooler waters, they expected it to lose power doesn't give a worldwide view and isn't really preparation material
  • Originally forecast to hit Savannah, Georgia,[8] the National Hurricane Centre issued a warning for the Carolinas at 11 A.M. on October 14, with the caveat that Hazel was expected to stay offshore and largely spare any land. The National Hurricane Center wasn't around in 1954, it was the National Weather Bureau back then.
  • Further forecasts expected Hazel to lose its power and dissipate over the Allegheny Mountains, and not travel over 1,100 kilometres (680 mi) over land, and spare Toronto,[3] which happens with most storms that reach this far north remove everything after Allegheny Mountains
  • Heavy winds, between 65 kilometres per hour (40 mph) and 80 kilometres per hour (50 mph), with only occasional showers were forecast. Heavy -> High and abbreviate the wind speeds (since your using the convert template put |abbr=on )
  • With few people in Canada having any experience with hurricanes, with hurricanes that far north and that far inland being virtually unheard of,[10] very few warnings were given and there were no evacuations prior to the storm as it was expected that it would pass east of the city. Rambling sentence, it's also a bit confusing, please reword.
  • Toronto Hydro had called in standby crews as heavy winds were forecast, although they were almost sent home at one point. Why were they almost sent home?
• Impact (Caribbean)
  • Replace some of the uses of Hazel with synonyms (like I suggested above)
  • When it struck Haiti on October 12 as a Category 4 storm, Hurricane Hazel brought flash floods which destroyed numerous villages. Switch it with Hurricane Hazel and same for the opposite. Change Category 4 storm to Category 4 hurricane. which -> that
  • Bowls made in Haiti were reported to have been transported as the Carolinian coast. Huh?
• Impact (United States)
  • Having passed through the Bahamas, and regained strength over the Atlantic Ocean after losing power while crossing Haiti, Hazel made landfall as a Category 4 storm,[11] near Calabash, North Carolina, halfway between Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and Wilmington, North Carolina along the North Carolina/South Carolina state border. run-on sentence
  • At landfall, Hazel brought a storm surge of over 5.5 metres (18 ft) to a large area of coastline. wiki-link storm surge
  • Coastal damage was severe along the southeastern coast of North Carolina. redundant, remove sentence

• I'm very impressed with the improvement you've made to the article but there are several issues, most of which are easy to fix. I'll continue the review once these points have been addressed. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 03:23, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
  • Fixed issues in the US impact section. Thegreatdr (talk) 22:15, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
    • All done, with exception to the removal of the 1st sentence of Preps, it gives context and shows that people may have thought that the storm will done one thing when it actually did another. Secondly, do you want |abbr=on throught? Maxim_(talk) 02:05, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Updated review following copy edit

• Lead- Good
• Met history- Good
• Preps-
  • the end of the first paragraph is lacking a reference
• Impact
  • the end of the first paragraph in the United States section is lacking a reference
• Aftermath- good

After a full copy edit of the article, there are just two minor referencing issues left before I can pass the article. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 23:11, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Done, they were lost in all the copyediting and shuffling. BTW, I wrote this in CanEn since that's what I use and because the hurricane is noted in the US, is especially important from a Canadian perspective, so I reverted some spelling "fixes". ;-) Thanks a lot for taking the time to look over and copyedit the article. Maxim_(talk) 00:33, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Alight, looks good. I'm passing the article now, very nicely done Maxim. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 00:49, 22 June 2009 (UTC)