Talk:Hurricane Diane/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Retrolord (talk · contribs) 01:47, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I'll be taking this review. I will use the template below to assess the article against the criteria. If there are any issues please let me know here or at my talk page. Thanks! ★★Retro Lord ★★ 01:47, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I have done a quick readthrough, no major problems that I can foresee, the review will probably be just copyediting and making sure everything is referenced. ★★Retro Lord ★★ 01:50, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for reviewing such a long article :) I'm sure old hurricanes aren't everyone's cup of tea, but it's great to get a reviewer. I replied to everything below. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Does anything else have to be done? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 00:54, 19 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much again!! :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:23, 19 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Please mark your edits on the review as either Done or Not done for both our convenience.

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	The name Diane was retired and will never be used by an Atlantic hurricane again." Could we make this more concise? It gives the impression the hurricane gets to choose it's own name, rather than it being assigned. Done I shortened. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "the damage from Diane would be about $7.4 billion, or the 17th costliest United States hurricane." Maybe change to "making it the 17th costliest"? Done Tweaked (not exactly to what you said, but changed). --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "Throughout the northeastern United States, the floods from Diane set a benchmark for future rainfall in the region." What does this mean? Was the rainfall a record, whhat do you mean by a benchmark? Done I didn't like it, so I removed it. Basically, it previously meant that future rainfall was compared to Diane's record rainfall, but it's not all that important. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "washed out lines" Could you please rewrite as it is a bit unclear Done Added lines. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "Using a monetary deflator as of 2010, the damage from Diane would be about $7.4 billion, or the 17th costliest United States hurricane. Accounting for inflation, changes in personal wealth, and population changes, it is estimated Diane would have caused $18 billion in damage in 2010, or the 15th highest United States hurricane." This section is a bit confusing. Could you rewrite to make it mpore clear please? I tweaked it a little bit by confirming earlier that it's about currency. It's some statistical stuff about how costly Diane would be nowadays, and it gives two metrics for assessing that. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "The Quinebaug River flooded the city of Putnam at the same time a major fire was occurring;[16] large explosions occurred there at a magnesium plant." Could you rewrite to make this clearer? Done Merged clauses. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "The intensification was so quick that ship southeast" Possible spelling mistake on ship? Done Added "a" --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "Damage totaled about $754.7 million (1955 USD)[nb 2], although the inclusion of loss of business and personal review increased the total to over $1 billion." Could you rewrite this to make it a bit clearer? Done Ack, I meant revenue. I must've been drunk when I wrote that :P --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:59, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "The Horseshoe Dam was washed out" What does this mean? Dams can get washed out, as in destroyed. Would you prefer I say destroyed? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:59, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] It's fine, was just clarifying the meaning. Done "Record high rides were also reported." I'm not sure what "rides" is refferring to here, could you have a look at this please Done Typo (for tides). --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:59, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "there was three death" Possible spelling mistake? Done Brain fart :/ At 56 kb or so, my brain got a little fried here and there (just like with revenue/revenue, ugh). --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:59, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "a 1 in 50–75 year event." This doesn't flow very well, is it possible to rewrite this? Done Removed the 75, and said "at least". --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:59, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Are all of the $figures in the same format? It says in the last part of the lead that "Damage totaled about $754.7 million (1955 USD)" but before that does not indicate the year of the USD used. Crap, I usually add this. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "Throughout Pennsylvania, 101 people were killed, and damage was estimated at $70 million." Is this bit in the 1955 or in 2013$? Do you think we should move the (1955 USD) bit to that figure as it is the first one in the article? Done Good call! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:59, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply] "987 millibars (29.1 inHg)" I'm not overly confident with these units, but is this following the same imperial (metric) format as the rest of the article? Actually, this one is the more scientific one first then the alternative one. Not quote imperial and metric, but this is how we do it in every hurricane article. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:40, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	I am quite impressed with your use of the old newspapers as sources, good research. Thanks! I used a combination of newspapers, books, and government documents. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:59, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Most of the info in the lead appears to be referenced, but I could not find any reference for this bit " On August 19, Diane emerged into the Atlantic Ocean southeast of New York City, and became extratropical the next day, dissipating on August 21." It's at the end of the met history - "exiting New Jersey on August 19 into the Atlantic Ocean southeast of New York City." --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:26, 17 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
	2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Detail is quite comprehensive, well done!
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Pending
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.	Pending