Talk:Human trafficking in Venezuela
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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
[edit]This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Sezshana. Peer reviewers: Oholland9619, Wldub, Rem1419.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 00:01, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
peer review
[edit]first of all, well done. You have put a lot of thought and work into this draft. (I spun mine out in less than an hour, so that just increases my admiration for your draft). The style is very clearly written in a political science manner.
I like how you mention that human trafficking is not confined to one gender in the intro and again about the legislation not protecting males.
My biggest criticism is that it is a little quote heavy.
Two small sentences that could be cleaned up a little are: Politically, in order for human trafficking to "thrive the slave trade requires the direct or indirect involvement of national governments, at both the source and the destination.”
“Venezuelan law prohibits most forms of trafficking in po, low wages, and poverty-stricken areas increase the cases of human trafficking in the country.rn.”
Good job!!!
- Thank you for the peer edit! I agree that I was quote heavy. I plan on cutting some of the larger quotes down and into several sentences to make the article easier to read and with better transitions. I really appreciate the advice, and it'll definitely help as I continue working toward the final draft of the article. Sezshana (talk) 00:22, 31 March 2017 (UTC)
Untitled
[edit]Venezuela needs help.
Additional Information
[edit]This article could really benefit from some additional and more dated information. The U.S. Department of State website has a specific link on human trafficking in Venezuela from 2013. It seems as though a very similar website is listed as a reference, but it is from 2008. The current, more dated report from 2013 not only discusses the problems occurring, but proposes strategies and recommendations for the Venezuelan government. I think it is important to take a look at this more recent information and try to update the article a little bit. Here is the link, titled, "2013 Trafficking in Persons Report" : http://www.state.gov/j/tip/rls/tiprpt/countries/2013/215648.htm. Good luck! Ragdollcatlover11 (talk) 01:38, 23 March 2015 (UTC)
This article will definitely be improved by adding more sources and more recent information on the issue. I also believe that it is essential to add a section quantitatively analyzing the current statistics on human trafficking in Venezuela to understand how big of an issue it is in the country, and then have that information when looking further on the actual state and international response. Sezshana (talk) 00:43, 20 February 2017 (UTC)
Copyright
[edit]In addition to my previous comment, this article seems to be partially copyrighted (copied/pasted) from the CIA World Factbook website. The alarming section reads, "Venezuela is a source, transit, and destination country for men, women, and children trafficked for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation and forced labor. Venezuelan women and girls are trafficked within the country for sexual exploitation, lured from poor regions in the nation's interior to urban and tourist areas. Victims are recruited through false job offers, and subsequently forced into prostitution or conditions of labor exploitation. Child prostitution in urban areas and child sex tourism in resort destinations such as Margarita Island appear to be growing. Venezuelan women and girls are trafficked for commercial sexual exploitation to Western Europe and Mexico, in addition to Caribbean destinations such as Trinidad and Tobago, Aruba, and the Dominican Republic. Men, women, and children from Colombia, Peru, Ecuador, Brazil, the Dominican Republic, and the People's Republic of China are trafficked to and through Venezuela and may be subjected to commercial sexual exploitation and forced labor."
This was directly taken, word for word, from the following website, https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/2196.html, without given any type of reference. Please re-write the lead section in your own words as well as cite your sources, otherwise this article will be proposed for deletion. If you have any questions, you can look to the Wikipedia Copyright Violations page -- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Copyright_violations. Cheers, Ragdollcatlover11 (talk) 17:00, 26 March 2015 (UTC)
- The CIA Factbook (as a work of the US Federal Government) is public domain, so it is not copyrighted. It is acceptable to use such sources, as long as the fact that material is being directly incorporated is clear noted — as it is now in the footnote for that source.--Sage (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:16, 21 March 2017 (UTC)
Recommendations for Improvement
[edit]I am concerned about the integrity of this Wikipedia article because it is very clear that most of its information is derived from the U.S Department of State. In particular, most of the information is taken from the State Department website, and the same categorization of the topic, with prosecution, protection, and prevention being the main sections within the article. I feel that the article needs to garner more quantitative and substantive information rather than comprise of suggestions and examination of solving the problem. As a result, I have developed a tentative bibliography of sources that I plan to use in order to diversify the article and increase coverage on the issue as a whole. The current article only uses 4 sources, all with a U.S lens, therefore, my sources looks broader at human trafficking in Latin America as a whole in order to understand the international, and regional, context that the issue of human trafficking in Venezuela presents. In addition, I believe that information on Venezuela, through social, political and economic domains, is necessary in order to understand the existing conditions that underly the issue of human trafficking and perpetuate it, as a whole. As a result, listed below are a few resources I plan on incorporating in the attempt to improve the Wiki article.
Bibliography
Sources on updating the causes and underlying factors of Venezuelan human trafficking. Perry, Kurt. "Venezuela." In The 2011 Annual Register: World Events 2010, edited by D. S. Lewis, and Wendy Slater. ProQuest, 2011. http://0-search.credoreference.com.dewey2.library.denison.edu/content/entry/pqar/venezuela/0 -This resource from Perry explores Venezuela's political legislation in 2011 in the attempt to address severe poverty in the country. In particular, the legislation proposed to address “the vital and urgent human needs derived from poverty and from the rains; infrastructure, transport, and public services; housing and environment; territorial zoning, urban and rural land use, and integral development planning; taxes and finances; citizen security and legal security; security and integral defence of the nation; international co-operation; and the socio-economic system" (Perry) This information is relevant to the article because of its claims that many of the victims of human trafficking in the country are "lured from poor interior regions to urban and tourist centers" (State Department). Therefore, in creating a section on the causes of increased human trafficking in Venezuela, information on poverty can help provide substantial insight.
Shelley, Louise I. 2010. Human Trafficking: A Global Perspective. New York: Cambridge University Press. -This book is useful because of its argument that human trafficking in Venezuela is "explained by the extreme poverty, recent and massive rural to urban migration, the large numbers of conflicts, the low status of women, and the endurance of traditional rituals and beliefs." (Shelley, 274). In addition, Shelley states that because of these conditions "numerous children live in the streets...[and] without parental supervision, children can be forced by adults in their communities to bed or commit crimes and are sold as domestic servants" (Shelley, 274). It is also important to recognize that both boys and girls are victims of human trafficking and sexual slavery. This book is useful in categorizing the reasons for human trafficking in Venezuela in confronting structural violence as an enabler to the issue as a whole.
Kapstein, Ethan B. 2006. “The New Global Slave Trade.” Foreign Affairs 85 (6): 103–15. doi:10.2307/20032146. - This resource is helpful because of its argument that "In order to thrive, the slave trade requires the direct or indirect involvement of national governments, at both the source and the destination," and therefore, the government of Venezuelan perpetuates human trafficking because of its lack of policy in the attempt to mitigate human trafficking altogether (Kapstein). In particular, the article states that in 2005 President Bush proclaimed that the Venezuelan government has failed to ""show a serious commitment" or to devote "sufficient attention" to stopping human trafficking in their countries."" This information supports the reasons as to why Venezuela's human trafficking has been deemed worse than in other countries.
Venezuelanalysis.com, Jonah Gindin-. 2017. “Venezuela Holds Hearing on Human Trafficking, Calls on U.S to Lift Sanctions.” Venezuelanalysis.com. Accessed February 21. https://venezuelanalysis.com/news/1147. -This resource offers an interesting contrast to the argument that Venezuela does not do enough to combat human trafficking. In particular, when the report realized by the Bush administration came out in 2005, sanctions were implemented and it has been questioned on if the report had underlying political motives rather than just reporting on human trafficking as a whole. In fact, Saul Ortega, head of the foreign affairs committee at the time argued that “Venezuela has been added to [tier 3] together with countries that are de-institutionalized, countries that, practically speaking, are state-less,” said Ortega. “This situation is absurd. And it seems clear to us that Venezuela’s placement on this list is a result of base political motives.” This claim is necessary when examining the state report released because it offers a Venezuelan perspective instead of a primarily U.S one, and brings into question to validly of the report as a whole.
As of now, this is a tentative working list that I am using as I prepare to update and improve the article. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions or comments, any feedback is helpful! Sezshana (talk) 22:54, 21 February 2017 (UTC)
Lead Section Outline
[edit]The lead section of the article needs to be improved. There are several sentences of blatant plagiarism from the U.S State Department Report, and focuses solely on that one source. As a result, below is a tentative outline depicting how I plan to restructure the section.
-Overview of Venezuela's political, economic and social structure that implicate its high rates of human trafficking. -Overview of the factors that contribute to the human trafficking -Separate the different types of human trafficking in the country
Sezshana (talk) 01:11, 8 March 2017 (UTC)
- This sounds like a reasonable plan. See my comment above about the use of CIA World Factbook content; as it is public domain and its use is noted, this is not plagiarism. Nevertheless, using it without copying directly would probably be better. (Relying solely on that one source is, as you note above, not ideal.)--Sage (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:20, 21 March 2017 (UTC)
- Agreed! You should indicate the source, look for additional evidence, and work to paraphrase. Katherine.Holt (talk) 23:45, 23 March 2017 (UTC)
Class Peer Review
[edit]I think started off with a clearer view would be helpful, b/c the subject of the article is human trafficking within Venezuela, not the country itself. I would focus more so on your subject of human traffic immediately. "Venezuela" is used repeatedly, as well, and there should be more of an appearance of transitional sentences. I think the first paragraph should be shortened with more of a focus on the facts, and less on broad sentences, as you will explain those topics later on in your article. "Human trafficking in Venezuela is shaped by its political, economic, and social environment." I think for this lead-in you could lengthen in. Politically, in order for human trafficking to "thrive the slave trade requires the direct or indirect involvement of national governments, at both the source and the destination.": revise sentence. "Venezuelan policy on human trafficking, therefore, impacts the overall rate of the issue and the regulation of it.": very broad. Rephrase to attract the reader. "According to the U.S. Department of State, Venezuela has released minimal information on its efforts to combat the issue." bias present with the use of "minimal information." I think if you make this claim, there should be concrete information relating to this, so that you are not flagged for bias, even if it isn't your own. "Venezuela's current economy makes it difficult to enact structural changes that would combat human trafficking. " How so? Make sure to use hard facts within your claims. Awesome graph, though! I think images are a fantastic way to break up a lengthy article. I think there is a lot of U.S.-bias in the Economic Section. When I say bias, I don't mean your personal bias, but probably within the U.S.-researched information that is being used. Great "Social Causes" section! I found it extremely interested and am interested in how it is going to be expanded upon! "in po" : in poor."...country.rn" edit. "This legislation closed a gap in Venezuelan law, in which the internal trafficking of adults was not prohibited. These new anti-trafficking provisions, however, do not address the trafficking of adult males or boys." Very interesting. I would expound further on this. Site references within the article. "Trafficking in Persons report" possible to site within the article? Comments: I think you have a great, well-written article! The information you use is interesting and appealing to the reader. The article itself is easy to read and understand, as well. I would, however, work on sentence structure and using more concrete facts and figures. Some of the sentences ran on and were difficult at times to follow. Also claims were made without corresponding data to back it up with. All in all, I can tell how much work you put into this and I can't wait to see the finished article! Oholland9619 (talk) 15:43, 29 March 2017 (UTC)Oholland9616
Thanks for the feedback Olivia! I'll defintley work on cutting a lot of my sentences down and restrucing many of the qutoes. I was also worried about having too much bias in those three sections, so I appreciate your comments. As I approve I'm planning on incorporating more sources to back up some of the claims. I appreciate the help! Sezshana (talk) 00:25, 31 March 2017 (UTC)
Political, Social, and Economic Causes
[edit]The sentence directly below the header should be expanded into a paragraph in order to provide better structure and flow to the article. There is also an over reliance on quotes when paraphrasing might be more appropriate. Wldub (talk) 15:31, 29 March 2017 (UTC)
Making an argument under political causes. Wldub (talk) 15:36, 29 March 2017 (UTC)
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