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Talk:Hugh of Wells/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Ironholds (talk) 19:40, 9 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lede

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  • "diocese of Bath, where he served two successive bishops of Bath" - repetition of "bath" and "of" makes it an awkward sentence. Do we know what he did for the Bishop? That way you could go "diocese of Bath, where he served as basher to two successive bishops".
  • I've just cut the "of bath" in the link. Nothing explicitly says what he did, although it was most likely as "junior clerkdom", i.e. ran errands, did divine services, wrote up things, etc. Ealdgyth - Talk 21:02, 9 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Suggest linking "see"
  • "new administration methods " - "administrative", surely?
  • "well being" - "well-being"
  • I'd merge the canonization section in, so it runs "He introduced new administration methods into the diocese, as well as working to improve the educational and financial well being of his clergy and to secure the canonization of his predecessor Hugh of Avalon as a saint in 1220", just because the canonization sentence doesn't run well on its own.
  • You can actually include an interesting bit of trivia here as a way to lengthen the sentence on his death. Paris accused him of being biased against monasteries, nuns and the like, yes? So you can run "Although the medieval writer Matthew Paris accused Hugh of being opposed to nuns, there is little evidence of the bishop being biased, and after his death on 7 February 1235 parts of his estate were left to religious houses, including nunneries").

Early life

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  • "Hugh's year of birth is unknown, but he probably was an old man at his death in 1235" - "Hugh's year of birth is unknown, but he was probably an old man at his death in 1235", and needs a cite.
  • Fixed the word order and is cited at the end of the sentences. I don't cite each sentence, I cite at the end of a section/paragraph/etc. that is all sourced to the same material. So the cite for this is number 6 at the end of the paragraph. Ealdgyth - Talk 21:02, 9 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The fact that he never left his residence from March 1233 until his death implies that he was impaired from old age. " - again, needs a cite.
  • "on documents of" - on documents by?
  • No, strictly speaking "of" is correct. By implies that Reginald wrote them, which almost assuredly he did not, with them being drawn up by his staff of clerks and him only signing them. Ealdgyth - Talk 21:02, 9 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • link king's seal.
  • "Simon was a relative of Hugh's also" - "Simon was also a relative of Hugh"
  • "His service in the chancery would have involved him in the innovations that Hubert Walter instituted in the administration during Walter's term as Chancellor." - "His service in the chancery would have involved him in Hubert Walter's administrative innovations during his term as Chancellor"

Bishop of Lincoln

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  • Link "excommunicated".
  • Sentences should not start with "But", really.
  • Link eyre (which really needs a proper article, something I must do one of these days)

Diocesan affairs

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  • effected/affected?
  • again, "But" at the beginning of a sentence.
  • "But the bishop also worked to improve the conditions of the poorer clergy in his diocese.[20] He tried to ensure that all the clergy in his diocese had enough to live on." - can probably be made into one sentence.

Death and legacy

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  • "He was buried 10 February 1235 " - "He was buried on 10 February 1235"
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