Talk:House of Burgh/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Phlsph7 (talk · contribs) 09:02, 14 October 2023 (UTC)

Hello KINGHB190 and thanks for putting all the work into getting this article into shape. However, despite all the improvements, the article fails criterion 2b since there are too many unreferenced paragraphs and passages, especially in the subsection "Descendants of William de Burgh (d. 1206)" and in the section "Arms (Heraldry)" (there is also a citation needed tag). According to criterion 2b, these passages require inline citations "no later than the end of the paragraph". I've added a few additional observations below. I suggest that you address them and add all the relevant sources before a renomination. Phlsph7 (talk) 09:02, 14 October 2023 (UTC)

Other observations:

• WP:EARWIG shows no copyright violations.
• From a short look, I didn't spot any unreliable sources and many are high-quality sources, like Oxford University Press.
• In England, one branch of the family (Lords Burgh) changed the name to 'Burgh' at some time after the Civil War in the seventeenth century (the 'de' having been removed to hide the family's connection to the nobility and Catholicism). Either replace "at some time" with "sometime" or better remove the expression entirely
• The crest...is believed to be awarded for a de Burgh's courage and skill in battle during the Crusades. This sentence sounds strange to my ears, especially the "a" before "de Burgh's courage" and the possessive of "de Burgh's". What about replacing it with ...is believed to be awarded for the courage and skill of a de Burgh in battle during the Crusades.?
• According to legend, the arms originated during the crusades "crusades" should be uppercase
• The whole first paragraph consists of a single sentence. I would suggest splitting it up into several shorter sentences. There also could be a grammatical problem with the last part (...; many Kings of Britain and multiple other royals, and ...): this phrase seems to lack a verb (or maybe I'm parsing it wrongly).
• William de Burgh founded the Irish line of the family which included the Lords of Connaught, Earls of Ulster and Earls of Clanricarde. and After the fourteenth century, some branches of the Irish line gaelicised the surname in Irish as de Búrca which gradually became: Add commas before "which".
• The lead section contains a lot of information about the circumstances of how the name changed for different branches. It might be better to discuss these details in the body of the article and only leave a shorter summary in the lead.
• The article contains many duplicate wikilinks. For example, Anglo-Norman and Earl of Kent are linked both in the first and the second paragraphs. According to MOS:DUPLINK, "a link should appear only once in an article, but it may be repeated if helpful for readers, such as in infoboxes, tables, image captions, footnotes, hatnotes, and at the first occurrence in a section." You can use the script User:Evad37/duplinks-alt to detect them.
• Since you seem to be personally associated with the topic, you should be very careful about WP:COI.

Phlsph7 (talk) 09:02, 14 October 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.