Talk:Hoover desk/GA1
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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 12:06, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
Nominator: Found5dollar (talk · contribs) at 23:13, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
Here I am, once again reviewing a presidential desk! (the previous one being Theodore Roosevelt desk) Will comment soon. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 12:06, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
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Comments
[edit]in the Oval Office as their Oval Office desk.
– repetition of 'Oval Office'. Can we write and link 'Oval Office desk' as 'official desk'?
- I removed "as their oval office desk" and instead moved the link later in the lead to "The Hoover desk is one of only [[six desks to be used by a President in the Oval Office"--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
The J. Stuart Clingman designed desk was built by
→ " The desk was designed by J. Stuart Clingman, and was built by"
Michigan-grown maple burl wood veneer.
– Both in lead and the body -- Per MOS:SOB, avoid placing links next to each other.
- removed the link to "burl" in both instances.--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
used by a President in the Oval Office
– We can un-capitalize 'P' in 'President' here.
The Hoover desk is a large
– 'large' is extraneous, the dimensions itself help the reader understand that the desk is a large one.
- removed--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
while the FDR Museum and Library
– We'll need to spell and link FDR museum at its first instance in the prose (apart from the lead)
- oh shoot. I try to catch this stuff. thanks, fixed.--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- Motif (visual arts) can be linked.
- linked--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
plus a single flat top extender drawer, in each pedestal.[2][1]
– replace 'plus' by 'and'. Also, inline references at the end of the sentence are preferred to be in ascending order, i.e. Ref#1 should be before Ref#2
- thanks for catching this!--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
section containing a single center drawer.[2][1]
– Ref order. Same as above.
"FDR Museum and Library"
v."FDR Library and Museum"
v. just"FDR Library"
- I believe ive changed all to "FDR Library and Museum"--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
in a contemporaneous article about the desk
– "contemporaneous article"... Better would be to mention who has written/published it.
- replaced "contemporaneous" with "a 1930 article about the desk from Good Furniture and Decoration"--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
The desk is made completely of
→ "The desk is completely made of"
- fixed.--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
This fire quickly grew
→ "It quickly grew"
- fixed.--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
the most destructive fire to hit the White House since the Burning of Washington in 1814.
– That seems like an opinion written as a factual statement. Who has described it as "most destructive fire"?
- added "and according to the White House Historical Association" to show who is makign this claim. i also switched out "destructive" to "powerful" as that is the exact term the article uses.--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
The fire was noticed at about 8:00 pm
– Add "{{nbsp}}
" - a non-breaking space between time and 'pm'.
Theodore Roosevelt desk, the desk
(emphasis mine) – try to avoid repetition.
- fixed.--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
By 10:30
– missing pm
- Can link Wilson desk
- oh damn. that is a typo. it should be "the Hoover Desk". fixed.--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
from the time
– can remove these words.
- removed--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
During FDR's 12 years as president
– FDR seems a bit informal. Perhaps, just write 'Rossevelt'
- changed.--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
Roosevelt died suddenly in 1945, leaving the role of President of the United States to his vice president, Harry Truman.
– three things:- "Roosevelt died suddenly in 1945" reads a bit odd. Try "Roosevelt suddenly died in 1945"
- "President of the United States" – Is mentioning 'United States' important? Seems reductant.
- Our article calls him "Harry S. Truman"
- fixed all three things--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
On Truman's his first day he cleared off the Hoover desk
– Perhaps, on Truman's first day as president
former presidents
– replace by "Roosevelt's"
- fixed.
- I made an edit in the table.
- thank you!--Found5dollar (talk) 17:17, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- References
- Upto you, though I recommend using citation templates. Currently, few are formatted as citations, while few are plain references. Please be consistent.
- yeah, I know it is odd, but I just don't like using citation templates. I feel they clutter the editing age and I just have never really gotten a handle on how they work. I know, bonkers, but its how I am. The few citation templates are left over from other editors working on the page. I'll convert all to plain references.--Found5dollar (talk) 18:04, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- Ref#1 – Missing website/publication details, title not is quotes
- Aha! I had a rouge "Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum" just floating around the other day. this is where it must have come from! fixed.
- Ref#3 – Title not in quotes
- Ref#6 – page numbers need to be separated by an en-dash (–).
- Ref#7 – Title not in quotes
- Ref#8 – same as above. Same with Ref#10, 11, and 13.
- Ref#12 – "via Google Books." is inconsistent with rest of the books and sources.
- this is one of those instances where I don't like the template. This is baked in and was added by a previous editor. removed and converted.--Found5dollar (talk) 18:04, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- Ref#14 – Even if it is from an official account, I don't believe that a Facebook source would be reliable enough (except when used as a primary source, like quoting Trump's tweets from Twitter)
- This is a tough one. This is the only source I can find for the history of the small Oval Office replica at the Hoover Library. I understand your hesitation, but it is cited to a specific National Parks Service ranger on an official page for the Hoover National Historic site, so I don't really see the difference between it and any number of the articles from the FDR library I cite (cited to a specific author and on a site run by a part of the federal government). I see it as a small article just published in a different location. I've been considering if this the entire paragraph is really necessary or not because it basically boils down to "there are no replicas of the desk". Is it clearer to just no include this info?--Found5dollar (talk) 18:04, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- Better remove it them... – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:27, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- removed--Found5dollar (talk) 18:56, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- Images
- Suggesting to add ALT text.
- oh crud. missed adding alts to images already in the article. added.--Found5dollar (talk) 18:04, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- Images are appropriately licenced.
Quite a lot to do. Putting on hold. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 13:46, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh: Thank you for this review! The real only stickling point seems to be the Facebook reference. I'll keep looking for a different source but also am open to just cutting the whole paragraph. happy to hear your thoughts on it!Found5dollar (talk) 18:06, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- @Kavyansh.Singh: Ive removed the paragraph. I'm still hunting for a new source but it seems like a lost cause. Please let me know if there are any other issues you see.--Found5dollar (talk) 19:32, 13 November 2021 (UTC)
- Gave it an another look. Happy to pass the article. Do let me know whenever you try to take Johnson desk or any other to GA. Great work! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 04:50, 14 November 2021 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.