Talk:Hood Boy/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 15:21, 28 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

singer Fantasia, featuring American rapper Big Boi, on → singer Fantasia featuring American rapper Big Boi, from

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

her second self-entitled studio album → I would say "her second and eponymous studio album", as readers could think that the album was her second one to be self-titled

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

the lead single from the alum → the lead single from the album

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

by J. → by J. on [RELEASE DATE]

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Anthony McIntyre, Antwan Patton, and produced by → Anthony McIntyre and Antwan Patton, while production was handled by

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It samples the introduction → I would justy say "into" here

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

on various Billboard charts → I would add "in the United States" after this to make everything clear

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

and a remix extended play (EP) was released on February 20, 2007. → just remove this part, as it was an extra (remix) release not necassarily meant for that type of promotion we're aiming for in this sentence

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

You don't need the "Audio" in "Audio CD"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The rest is good

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:16, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Background and release

Due to the disappointing commercial → I would rather say "underwhelming" here; "disappointing" sounds like you're giving your opinion on the subject matter

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

her second self-entitled album → her second and eponymous album (see above for explanation)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Fantasia attributed the change in her musical style as a way from her painful past, which was featured during her time on American → Fantasia attributed the change in her musical style to her alleged "painful" time while on American

That edit would actually be incorrect. The painful time was not during American Idol; the show included references to her past prior to the show. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Anthony McIntyre, Antwan Patton, and produced by Austin → Anthony McIntyre and Antwan Patton, while production was handled by Austin

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

entitled Dance Vault Mixes, which comprises eleven tracks, was made available on February 20, 2007 as a digital download → entitled Dance Vault Mixes was made available on February 20, 2007 as a digital download, comprising eleven tracks

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:19, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Composition and lyrics

Its instrumental includes → The song's instrumental includes (repetition)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:20, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The lyrics revolve → The lyrics of "Hood Boy" revolve (readers could think that the lyrics on the album revolve around that)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:20, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise, great job!

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:20, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Critical feedback to "Hood Boy" → I would rather say "reception" than "feedback"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:21, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

on several Billboard charts → ...in the United States (see above)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:21, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The info about the single's trajectory on US charts is abit repetitive, but it doesn't matter that much for GA.

Understandable; I do not really think that there is a better way of presenting the information though as adding too much variation in the sentences can make it too distracting to read. It is quite a fine line. Aoba47 (talk) 23:21, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Music video and promotion

Unlink "music video"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

A music video, directed → An accompanying music video for "Hood Boy", directed

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

through BET.[7][2] → order of the refs

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Big Boi makes an appearance in the video → This sentence is very short and clipped, and breaks the flow of this section

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Fantasia performed → For further promotion, Fantasia performed

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

was met by a positive → was met with positive

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:23, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Formats and track listings

Everything looks right ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Personnel

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Charts

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Release history

Flawless ;)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Other stuff

Copy-violation

29.1% is very good!

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

References

As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome

Great job with this article. I put it On hold for 7 days to allow you to implement my changes. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:32, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: Thank you for taking this up for review! This is quite a weird song. It was a pretty massive departure for the singer, especially in terms of image. Fantasia also appears to have completely ignored this song (i.e. the music video was removed from YouTube/Vevo channel and she never performs this). I am not a huge fan of this song so I am okay with that lol. Hope you are doing well. Aoba47 (talk) 23:26, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Gladly passing this! Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:13, 3 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.