Talk:Honolulu Volcanics

Honolulu Volcanics has been listed as one of the Geography and places good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: March 29, 2020. (Reviewed version).

Honolulu Volcanics received a peer review by Wikipedia editors, which is now archived. It may contain ideas you can use to improve this article.

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A fact from Honolulu Volcanics appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 22 May 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that volcanoes in Honolulu (example pictured) were active within the last 80,000 years, and future eruptions are possible?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2020/May. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Honolulu Volcanics.

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Honolulu Volcanics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Kingsif (talk · contribs) 19:08, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I'm Kingsif, and I'll be doing this review. This is an automated message that helps keep the bot updating the nominated article's talkpage working and allows me to say hi. Feel free to reach out and, if you think the review has gone well, I have some open GA nominations that you could (but are under no obligation to) look at. Kingsif (talk) 19:08, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox good
Lead could be a bit longer
To my surprise, it was difficult to expand the lead. I took a stab at it - what kind of stuff would you expect to see?Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
There's some links you've left on the talkpage - do these need to be incorporated into the article for coverage?
Normally when I park links like that, it's because I am not actually sure if they are reliable enough for inclusion. So if they are, they should, but I need a second opinion. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
lead informative
good use of wikilinks (some are extraneous...)
earwig down, source:
- Sources all seem reliable
- consistent ref format
- everything that needs a ref seems to have one
- spot check not done !
good use of images
- all free
- good choice to use table
shouldn't the notes go below table and above refs?
Yes, moved it down. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
structure seems good
at displaced streams that previously ran through these valleys; for example, a waterfall in Kamanaiki Valley is formed by a lava flow, did it used to have a waterfall that is now a lava flow? Because it sounds like there is a lava waterfall.
No, it's supposed to say that the stream now forms a waterfall over the lava flow. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Needs a capital at submarine vents
Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"a 300 metres [...] high" should just be 'metre'
- as with "a 1,700 metres [...] wide"
- similar at "the 2.3 million years old" - singular 'year' for such purpose
  The first two appear to be {{convert}} vagaries. I don't actually think the latter is wrong. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - - Convert templates can handle both noun and adjectival forms (you'd have to look at the template, I don't remember how) - these are adjectival forms and should be singular. Kingsif (talk) 21:34, 23 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      - Attempted fixes here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:39, 24 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The sentence Hanauma Bay close to Kalanianaole Highway is located 13 kilometres (8.1 mi) east of Honolulu[39] and it is a compound crater[40]/tuff cone that was breached by the sea;[41] it is 0.4 by 0.8 kilometres (0.25 mi × 0.50 mi) large, 18 metres (59 ft) deep at its outlet[42] with several associated dykes and lava flows[43] and coral reefs grow within it. seems to have some grammar mistakes - but it's in run-on territory and would be better broken up, anyway
Hacksawed it a little. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Part of the article says passed under Oahu recently - recently, when? Either actually when or on what scale is 'recent' - the article has just been discussing different epochs and the 1800s, so there's no established scale. If there's no suggestion, this description should be attributed.
The source does not specify but given context it's clearly " in geologically recent times". Put that in insteadJo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Also a run-on sentence issue with Xenoliths of amphibole, calcite, clinopyroxene, dunite, garnet, garnet peridotite, orthopyroxene, phlogopite, garnet pyroxenite, lherzolite and spinel have been described;[76][83][2] the most common ones are dunite, garnet containing rocks and lherzolite[84] and the relative prevalence of the various xenoliths is a function of the position of their source vent relative to the Koʻolau caldera.
I've split this. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
And at In terms of the ultimate origin of the magmas, either an origin from a mixing between MORB mantle with mantle plume rocks (sometimes described as "Kalihi component"[94] which is found in all Koʻolau volcanic rocks[95]),[96] the lithosphere[69] either ancient or 100 million years old as is the lithosphere beneath Hawaii[97] or exclusively from lithospheric mantle have been proposed.
I've split part of it out into notes. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
There's a red link aiming for depleted. Were you thinking of depleted-mantle model or something?
I don't think that's the correct target. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- - What is the target? Kingsif (talk) 21:34, 23 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - We don't have one yet, but the closest I think is Compatibility (geochemistry). Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 09:39, 24 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I've added some commas in, but there needs to be a lot more, an issue throughout
Hrm. I did take a look and it doesn't seem like there are many commas amiss. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 16:48, 23 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- - I've added some commas in one part where I corrected a typo - instances like this are where they're needed, if that helps? Kingsif (talk) 20:18, 28 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - Hrm. These commas to me struck more like a stylistic thing rather than a grammar rule. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 20:33, 28 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Some of the sentences in the Activity at specific vents bullet list are weak
I think you'll need to specify, here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- - Sure:
    - Some eruptions such as these Kaau, Mokolea and Training School vents may have occurred as one sequence over a 13 kilometres (8.1 mi) long line - is this meant to be ", such as those at,"?
      - Rewrote this a bit. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 20:33, 28 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - The grammar of The eruption took place several stages that were interrupted by hiatuses of no more than a few months of length.[133] It was colonized by coral reefs after it formed, and marine benches developed within it as well[39] whose exact origin is often not clear.[40] The eruption of Kahauloa was synchronous to that of Hanauma Bay, and erosion of the Hanauma Bay vents occurred already during the eruption.[134] is a bit uncertain, and I'm not sure about what some of the first two sentences mean
      - Oof. Resolved that. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 20:33, 28 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - Punchbowl Crater formed from the fallout of an eruption column when it fell back on the coral plain that the vent was located in - this could be rephrased to sound more formal (and also to be clear on what formed where because of what)
      - Clarified. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 20:33, 28 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - The insertion of number values in The formation of the Sugarloaf flow was accompanied by tephra fallout which reached over 1 metre (3 ft 3 in) thickness 6 kilometres (3.7 mi) away in what is now downtown Honolulu[71] and was deposited on a limestone 123,000 ± 2,000 years old seems to have removed the surrounding words, or something, making context unclear
    - Later in that bullet, The flow was erupted on a ridge, west from the Manoa Valley,[139] and is a 15 metres (49 ft) thick aa lava flow, an unusual trait given its composition which resembles that of Nyiragongo volcano which produces fast flowing lava flows is a run-on; I also don't know what the first part means
      - Rewrote this a bit. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 20:33, 28 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - Grammar lost partway through Ulupau Head crater contained a lake after its formation, similar to Rano Kau on Easter Island[141] and with a surface area of 0.5–0.6 square kilometres (0.19–0.23 sq mi) was once the largest lake of Hawaii as well.
    - Kingsif (talk) 20:18, 28 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      - Rewrote this as well. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 20:33, 28 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Many vents of the Honolulu Volcanics are furrowed;[58] erosion has cut gullies in the slopes of Diamond Head[36] and Punchbowl Crater,[145] and during sea level highstands wavecut terraces formed in some volcanoes;[106] it is likely that wave erosion breached Hanauma Bay, flooding it,[14] either during or after the eruption that created it. is a run-on again
Broke it up. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The bullet list in the Youngest activity and hazards section should be prose.
I don't think that works so well in prose form. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
grammar in table needs work
@Kingsif:Did some cleanup here. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 16:48, 23 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Overall

On hold Some grammar issues. The lack of commas where needed can probably be fixed yourself, but if you're not sure how to clean up the sentences, a copyedit could be requested - I'd request a copyedit. Kingsif (talk) 20:48, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Kingsif:Responded to some queries. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- - @Jo-Jo Eumerus: I've looked over the most recent edit, checked the sources in this part and the first part, and all seems good. Nice work. Kingsif (talk) 02:05, 29 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:25, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

(

Comment or view
Article history

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Diamond Head in Honolulu, part of the Honolulu Volcanics

... that the volcanoes in Honolulu (example pictured) were active within the last 80,000 years, and future eruptions are possible?

Improved to Good Article status by Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk). Self-nominated at 10:24, 29 March 2020 (UTC).[reply]

comment - i think there are photos which look better at 100x100 in the article, perhaps this one — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mujinga (talk • contribs)
Aye, that one looks prettier but it's not as indicative - the importance of this volcanic field stems mainly from the fact that it is situated in the middle of Honolulu. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 13:49, 29 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Jo-Jo Eumerus are you interested in including this nomination as part of the month of May, Asian Pacific American Heritage Month? — Maile (talk) 21:24, 6 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- Maile66It's perhaps a little far fetched (it's principally a volcanology article), but I don't mind it being sent to the main page for May. Note that I haven't done the QPQ yet. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 08:56, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]