Talk:Hompesch Hussars

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Hompesch Hussars/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:03, 18 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• Was the Baron of Hompesch the same as Ferdinand von Hompesch zu Bolheim? If so, could link?
• "British foreign corps" is that a formal title of a group of people? Is there an article?
• "and would be disbanded" and was
• "and would serve until" and served
• "Uniform variations ..." fragment, no full stop.
• The allegiance of the Hussars could be mentioned in the lead.
• "In Spring 1794" avoid seasons, but if you must, why is this capitlaised?
• "Charles, Freiherr von Hompesch signed" -> "Charles, Freiherr von Hompesch, signed".
• "legion, later known as Hompesch's Legion. The new legion" legion, Legion, legion. Repetitive.
• "of the following: 1 x Hussar" why not just "of one Hussar..."?
• "formed, with its mounted element become the" perhaps "and with... became the..."?
• "red hussar cap" link hussar.
• "a fortnight (2 x weeks), " just say "In two weeks"
• "Osnabrück ordered" comma before "ordered".
• "On 14th September 1794" 14 not 14th.
• "with 2 x squadrons" etc, avoid this 2 x midprose, and stick with plain English, like "two".
• "On the 15th, the" either "On 15 September" or perhaps "The following day..."
• "lost their 4 guns" four.
• "the 1st December 1794" by 1 December 1794.
• "based in Flanders and " overlinked.
• "which would be known" become?
• No point in red-linked See also articles.
• Especially ones which are already red-linked in the article.
• Refs 1, 2 and 4 needs en-dash in year range.
• "period, 1792-1815. London" likewise.

That's it for a first read. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 10:26, 20 September 2021 (UTC)

Finished edits, check my sandbox for comments. J-Man11 (talk) 02:24, 26 September 2021 (UTC)

J-Man11 Please keep review comments/responses in this GAN, not in your sandbox. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 07:58, 27 September 2021 (UTC)

Will do, I'll copy them over now. J-Man11 (talk) 12:51, 27 September 2021 (UTC)

• Was the Baron of Hompesch the same as Ferdinand von Hompesch zu Bolheim? If so, could link?
  • No, different Hompesch, the one who raised the regiment was a Baron and first name was Charles, not Ferdinand. Possibly related?
• "British foreign corps" is that a formal title of a group of people? Is there an article?
• "and would be disbanded" and was
• "and would serve until" and served
• "Uniform variations ..." fragment, no full stop.
  • What needs to be changed?
• The allegiance of the Hussars could be mentioned in the lead.
• "In Spring 1794" avoid seasons, but if you must, why is this capitlaised?
• "Charles, Freiherr von Hompesch signed" -> "Charles, Freiherr von Hompesch, signed".
• "legion, later known as Hompesch's Legion. The new legion" legion, Legion, legion. Repetitive.
• "of the following: 1 x Hussar" why not just "of one Hussar..."?
• "formed, with its mounted element become the" perhaps "and with... became the..."?
• "red hussar cap" link hussar.
• "a fortnight (2 x weeks), " just say "In two weeks"
• "Osnabrück ordered" comma before "ordered".
• "On 14th September 1794" 14 not 14th.
• "with 2 x squadrons" etc, avoid this 2 x midprose, and stick with plain English, like "two".
• "On the 15th, the" either "On 15 September" or perhaps "The following day..."
• "lost their 4 guns" four.
• "the 1st December 1794" by 1 December 1794.
• "based in Flanders and " overlinked.
• "which would be known" become?
• No point in red-linked See also articles.
• Especially ones which are already red-linked in the article.
• Refs 1, 2 and 4 needs en-dash in year range.
• "period, 1792-1815. London" likewise.

All completed, check comment J-Man11 (talk) 12:56, 27 September 2021 (UTC)