Talk:Hologram (Minmi song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 17:20, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there! I'm Cartoon network freak and my GAN review for your nomination is going to arrive soon. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 17:20, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

stand alone → stand-alone
It was released as her third stand alone digital single on June 10, 2015, and distributed as a CD single, DVD single, and digital EP on July 22, 2015 through Universal J, a subsidiary label owned by Universal Music Group. → It was made available for digital download and physical consumption on June 10, 2015 through Universal Music Japan—a subsidiary label owned by Universal Music Group—as her third stand-alone single.
It was → "Hologram" marks
behind → after
was noted → was described
a critics at → a writer for
reggae music → reggae music styles
dancehall → dancehall music
received positive → received generally positive
selected that track as a stand out to the album → pointed out the track as a highlight from the album
whilst some also praised the composition → whilst acclaiming its production
was towards the autotune → was outspoken towards the Auto-Tune
this is her lowest selling → marking her lowest-selling
What is an "insert song"?
To promoted → In order to promote
for the Japanese → remove "the"
Alongside this → Additionally
she featured → she appeared
and performed → with her as well performing
concert → concert venue

Done this section.

Infobox

Caption is irrelevant and can thus be removed

There are three cover artworks to the single, so the caption must stay to identify which one it belongs to.

Remove "single" from "DVD single" and "CD single", and write "Digital download" uncapitalized
For genre, add instead [[Electronic dance music|EDM]]
Aren't writers/producers credited with their birth name? (I don't know, just asking )

Done this section.

Background and release

and would → which would
What is an "insert song"? + word repetition (song)
to the → for the
Japanese; → Japanese:
"Hologram" is → "Hologram" marks
her single "Ite Itai yo", which was released in 2014. → her 2014 single "Ite Itai yo".
noted by a critic at → pointed out by a writer for
reggae music → reggae music styles
Why is dance-pop and dancehall not included in the infobox?

I added dance-pop to the info box and lead, but dancehall was more as an "influence" as stated by the critic.

Why is dance-pop not written in the lead at the writer's part?
also features → also incorporates
link "synthesizers" and "keyboards" to their respective articles
while Minmi's vocals are processed with autotune → with Minmi's vocals being processed with Auto-Tune
as her third stand alone → as the singer's third stand-alone
Universal J → Universal Music Japan

The label is actually Universal J; a division from Universal Music Japan. Has been changed.

Universal Music Group; the → Universal Music Group. Its accompanying
Universal J → Universal Music Japan
Universal J distributed the song as a CD single and DVD single in Japan, and a digital EP in several other territories. All three formats included the single, alongside a remix version entitled the "Asahi Kuromine version", which is an ode to the main protagonist of the show the song was included into, plus the b-side track "#Yacchaina" featuring Japanese singer Mary Jane. The DVD version included a live performance of Minmi at the 2014 Freedom Aozora concert. → the label distributed the recording for physical consumption as a DVD and CD in Japan, with a digital EP being made available in several other territories All formats included the original mix of the single, with the addition of B-side track "#Yaccahaina" in collaboration with Japanese performer Mary Jane. The DVD release incorporated Minmi performing "Hologram" live at the 2014 Freedom Aozora concert venue.
Why is "#Yacchaina" written different in the infobox?
The artwork for all three formats featured a portrait shot of Minmi with pink-tinted hair and confetti digitally-superimposed on her → The cover sleeve for all three formats portrayed a pink-haired Minmi surrounded by digitally-superimposed confetti.
[7][2][6] → [2][6][7]

I don't particularly think this arrangement matters.

Done this section.

Reception

Greenberg, whom contributed to writing Mimni's biography on the website, selected the track as some of her best work. → Greenberg cited the track as one of Minmi's best works while contributing to her biography on the website.
member's → members
selected the song as one of the best tracks from her album Ego → pointed out "Hologram" as a highlight from her album Ego
In a separate review, a staff member from → Another critic from the same publication
the production "bold" and "spacey". → the recording's production as "bold" and "spacey"
The review also pointed out her vocals and song writing as stand outs elements to the song → He further acclaimed the singer's vocals and song writing on the single.
saying "In → concluded that "in
However, the review criticized the overuse → However, the publication negatively perceived the over-use
autotune in the track → Auto-Tune in the song
B-side songs → B sides
Commercially, the single → Commercially, "Hologram"
Minmi's lowest charting single since her 2012 single "La La La (Ai no Uta)"; the latter track reached number 58. → marking Minmi's lowest-charting release since "La La La (Ai no Uta)" (2012), which peaked at number 58.
it is her lowest ranking single at number 18 → Remove this, as it is already said in the precedent sentence
her lowest selling → her lowest-selling

Done this section.

Music video and promotion

The accompanying music video → An accompanying music video for "Hologram"
It opens with a woman walking down a beach front. By the pre-chorus, repetitive scenes of the woman holding and letting go of her bikini strap and hand claps start to show, whilst the chorus features her playing and dancing in the water. Throughout the entire video, it has the woman and a man, who has just been introduced during the second verse, playing around the beach front and in the water; despite this, several scenes and parts of the video are repeated. → It opens with a woman walking down a beach front, with her subsequently holding and letting go of her bikini strap by the pre-chorus. Over the rest of the visual, she is portrayed being engaged alone or with a man in the water or playing around the beach shore; several of the scenes repeat throughout the music video.
The music video did not appear on the DVD version of the single, but appeared on the DVD version for the parent album Ego (2016). → The clip appeared on the DVD version of its parent album, Ego.
[14]To promote → [14] In order to promote
What is an insert song?
for the Japanese → remove "the"
on the Japanese television → remove "the"
alongside an → alongside providing an
Minmi subsequently appeared at the 2016 Freedom Aozora concert; along with many other acts such as Scandal and 10-Feet, Minmi performed "Hologram" and other tracks → Minmi subsequently sang "Hologram" live at the 2016 Freedom Aozona concert venue; various other Japanese acts, such as Scandal and 10-Feet, were invited to the venue.

Done this section.

Credits and personnel

Credits adapted from the CD liner notes of "Hologram" → Credits adapted from the liner notes of "Hologram"'s CD release.
Where was it recorded?

Section removed.

Put the managing credits below the recording one
Management and record label Universal J. → Management done by record label Universal Music Japan
Credits → Technical and visual credits

Slightly tedious knowing there is limited credits.

Minmi – vocals → Minmi − lead vocals
featuring vocals → featured artist

Done this section.

Track list and formats

Rename section to "Track listing"

There are four formats, so it's left as it is.

All lyrics written by Minmi. → This section needs to be accompanied by the credits ref.
Remove "music" and "arrangements" credits.

This is a traditional application of Japanese musicians; see GA articles on Ayumi Hamasaki and Namie Amuro for examples

Bonus dvd → Bonus DVD

Done this section.

Weely charts

Rename section into "Charts" and make a sub-section called "Weekly charts"

Slightly tedious knowing there is only one chart section.

Release history

Use !scope="row" for countries (see this for an example)
Unlink label and formats
Universal J → Universal Music Japan

Done this section.

Outcome

On hold On hold for 7 days. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:20, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak: All finished! Thank you for your time

CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 00:59, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@CaliforniaDreamsFan: Gladly passing. Congrats, Cartoon network freak (talk) 03:34, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.