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Talk:Hiram Wesley Evans/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 01:48, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Checklist

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Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. Fine
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. Fine
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). Fine
2c. it contains no original research. Fine
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. See below
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. Fine
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Per definition. Only constructive edits
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. Fine. Two PD per Library of Congress, one PD-no-renewal
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. Three images used. One for identification in the infobox, one showing him on the cover of Time, and one leading the Knights in full regalia. All have a use and are not merely dedcorative
7. Overall assessment. Pending

Comments

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1

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1a
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General
  • Why not cut back on the number of occurrences of Klan?
    • Hmm, I really did go overboard on that. Will control+F as I go down the page.
  • Check capitalisation: World Court, Senator
    • Ok, de-capped.
Lede
  • "Hiram Wesley Evans (September 26, 1881 – September, 1966) was Imperial Wizard, the national leader, of the Ku Klux Klan, an American white supremacist group, from 1922 to 1939." - A few too many asides (contextual information). Perhaps something like Hiram Wesley Evans (September 26, 1881 – September, 1966) was Imperial Wizard of the American white supremacist group Ku Klux Klan from 1922 to 1939. or something, with the definition of Imperial Wizard following (maybe in "Evans succeeded him, and in that leadership position, sought to transform the Klan into a political juggernaut.")
    • Ok, took your suggestion.
  • "the Great Depression significantly decreased the Klan's income, prompting Evans to work for a construction company to supplement his income." -- Income ... income?
    • Ahh, that was slovenly of me :)
  • Third paragraph - careful how you link. Why link Catholicism but not Protestantism or Judaism?
    • Linked all three.
Early life and education
  • (There were later rumors that his dental qualifications were "a bit shady".) - A footnote instead, perhaps?
    • Yeah, good idea, added.
  • Why not merge the two paragraphs? Both deal with how average he was.
    • Merged.
Early national life
  • (He viewed a slight majority of Americans as of acceptable ethnic and religious background.) - Perhaps a way to work this into the earlier sentence?
    • Done.
  • "Historian Leonard Moore speculates that Stephenson played a role in Evans' elevation to leader and received a leadership role in return." isn't that indicated above? Also, should not have two occasions of D. C. Stephenson.
    • Removed.
Internal conflicts
  • Although Evans lived in parts of the Southern U.S. with few Catholics, he opposed Catholicism owing to his belief that the Catholic Church sought to take control of the United States government. - Might be more pertinent above, where his anti-Catholicism is introduced
    • Good point, moved it up.
  • "Police subsequently alleged that Stephenson raped and murdered a girl in 1924; Stephenson maintained that the charges were orchestrated by Evans." - Was he charged, or did they just allege it?
    • Rephrased for clarity, he was charged and convicted.
  • "away from the site of the controversial death." - Was it shown to have happened?
    • Yeah, she gave a whole story on her deathbed. In any case, I've rephrased a bit.
Growth and political activism
  • "Evans also dramatically increased the Klan's assets, more than doubling them from July 1922 to July 1923." - Financial assets, material assets...?
  • "Klan publications claimed that their launch of a printing plant and cuts in the cost of robe production dramatically lowered expenses." - Doesn't flow too well with the preceding sentences
    • Moved it a little, does this work?
      • Looks a bit better.
  • "The Klan remained a divisive group among Republicans: their public endorsement of James Eli Watson for the vice-presidency damaged his chances." - Doesn't flow logically. Not sure how to reword this.
    • How's this?
      • Alright.
  • The bits about Coolidge should be merged / put together
    • Not sure I quite understand what you're looking for here, but I moved one sentence.
      • I was thinking something like this
Decline
  • "removed one of their leaders, a state legislator" - Who, if available? Probably notable
    • Good point, state legislators are notable per WP:POLITICIAN. There was one guy who set out to create articles on every Louisiana state legislator, if I recall correctly.
      • If we're thinking of the same person... that didn't end too well for him.
        • lol, pretty much.
  • "alleging lurid misdeeds." - Such as?
    • Oh the usual, kidnapping, torture, burning people at the stake.

3

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3a
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  • Anything on his life between 1940 and 1966? Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:58, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Not that I could find, he really dropped off the map after leaving the Klan. I don't think there are any biographies specific to him, per se, he's really just only mentioned in histories of the Klan (which don't bother with what he did after he left the group.)
      • Perhaps an obituary from 1966?
        • Can't seem to find one, quite odd.
          • Maybe Grapple X could help with his fancy-dandy Highbeam account?
            • I pinged Grapple and another guy about it, not optimistic we can turn much up.
  • Who are all the people you quote? David A. Horowitz, for example? Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:27, 27 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • They're pretty much all historians, I got sick of writing Historian in front of everyone's names.
      • Looks better now
  • Other well-known adversaries of Evans include The Dallas Morning News publisher George Dealey and Atlanta journalist Ralph McGill - What did they think?
    • The same thing as every sane person thought of him :)
  • "He wrote several books, including The Menace of Modern Immigration (1923), The Klan of Tomorrow (1924), Alienism in the Democracy (1927), and The Rising Storm (1929)." - From this source. Perhaps a bit about these, at the very least as a bit about his views
    • Added in a brief mention for now, might add more later.
      • The years should probably be included... its somewhere in the MOS.
        • Added in the years, will take work to find other sources about them though.
  • AGF on offline references for spotchecks.
    • Thanks!

Further discussion

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