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Talk:Hey Baby (New Rising Sun)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 05:55, 24 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hello again and thanks. This looks pretty straight forward and shouldn't take much time. —Ojorojo (talk) 15:49, 26 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Only include US release date in the infobox as it is the first and the other can be found elsewhere in the article for those interested
  • "by American musician Jimi Hendrix." → "by American musician Jimi Hendrix, from his second posthumous album Rainbow Bridge (1971)."
  • "It is a slower and more melodic piece" → "The song is a slower and more melodic piece"
  • "Hendrix recorded several demo" → "Hendrix had recorded several demo"
  • "On July 1, 1970, he" → "On July 1, he"
  • "It was one of the songs" → "The song was one of the tracks" as you used it too recently and can't used song(s) twice in one sentence
  • "Eddie Kramer and drummer" → "Eddie Kramer, and drummer" to differentiate them
  • Added. —15:49, 26 December 2019 (UTC)
  • "selected the Electric Lady" → "selected the Electric Lady version"
  • "closing track for Rainbow Bridge, the second posthumous..." → "closing track for Rainbow Bridge."
  • Add sentence after this giving an overview of the reviews as positive/negative from music critics and what they mostly commented on
  • "In 1997, it was included" → "In 1997, the song was included" as you just mentioned the album
  • "his unfinished album" → "Hendrix's unfinished album"
  • "performing the song in concert" → "performing it in concert"

Composition and lyrics

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  • Think you could add a pic here possibly?
  • Actually, this is getting a bit frustrating. There are many amateur photos of Hendrix out there[1] that don't show copyright marks. I'm tempted to upload some that I've never seen on albums, books, films, etc. and see what happens. —Ojorojo (talk) 18:15, 27 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In the following months at the Record Plant in New York City, Hendrix attempted more recordings of the song." → "In the months following on from recording at TTG studios, Hendrix attempted more recordings of the song at the Record Plant in New York City." to specify
  • "used a minor-key chord progression reminiscent" is this of his version of the song? If so, change WikiLink to "All Along the Watchtower"
  • "Hendrix, with drummer Buddy Miles and percussionist Juma Sultan, jammed on some new tunes at the Record Plant" → "Hendrix jammed on some new tunes at the Record Plant with drummer Buddy Miles and percussionist Juma Sultan"
  • "Cox (with whom he recorded the live Band of Gypsys album)," → "Cox, the latter of which he recorded the live Band of Gypsys album with,"
  • "Hendrix's prefaces the song" → "Hendrix introduces the song"
  • "his live performances" → "Hendrix's live performances"
  • "suit Hendrix's mood and the audience reaction" → "suit his mood and the reaction of the audience"
  • "beach in early morning."" → "beach in early morning"." as punctuation should be outside of quotes for consistency
  • "By then" replace then with a year to specify when
  • "which can emulate" → "which is able to emulate"
  • "had been used on the earlier "The New Rising Sun" demos" → "had previously been used on the demos for "The New Rising Sun""
  • "full musical weight itself."" → "full musical weight itself"."
  • "In it, Hendrix" → "In the intro, Hendrix"
  • "calls the R&B-style" → "called the R&B-style"

Recording and studio releases

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  • "vocal, were his regular Cry of Love touring partners," → "vocal were his regular Cry of Love touring partners;"
  • "Sultan, who performed with Hendrix at Woodstock, and" → "Sultan and" because you have already introduced this person in the article
  • "joined in the recording" → "joined in with the recording"
  • "a final finished vocal track[23] (Hendrix" → "a final finished vocal track,[23] with him having"
  • "because it was flat)." → "because it was flat."
  • "It also incorporates" specify which song you mean
  • "on a list of potential songs" → "on a list of potential tracks"
  • "When recording engineer Eddie Kramer and Mitchell" → "When Mitchell and recording engineer Eddie Kramer" as otherwise it reads confusingly
  • "but was not used" → "though ultimately wasn't used"
  • "the second posthumous album produced" → "Hendrix's second posthumous album, produced"
  • "For the released version" → "Of the released version"
  • "and the following month in the UK; it performed..." → "and the following month in the UK, with "Hey Baby (New Rising Sun) being released as the eighth track on the album." as the chart positions of the album aren't very notable here while the position of the track on the album is. Use AllMusic as a source for the position if you don't have one in the already included refs.
  • "and it was never" → "and the album was never"
  • "was included on the 1997 release, First Rays of the New Rising Sun" → "was included on the 1997 compilation album First Rays of the New Rising Sun" as you need to let readers know it's a compilation
  • "the song was included on" → "the song was included on the compilation album" ditto
  • "was included on" → "was included on the posthumous box set"
  • "reissued in both CD and LP formats." → "reissued in both CD and LP formats, with "Hey Baby" being included as part of the release."

Critical reception

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  • Add overview of the reception (positive, negative, or what else)
  • "with more flash."" → "with more flash"."
  • "into his guitar work."" → "into his guitar work"."
  • "more than a sketch."" → "more than a sketch"."
  • "anything Hendrix ever wrote."" → "anything Hendrix ever wrote"."

Other versions

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  • "Two earlier demo versions..." write about these in prose as it's only two
  • "songs (the other being "Freedom") that" → "tracks alongside "Freedom" that"
  • "such as at" → "including at"
  • "available at jimihendrix.com (official website)" → "available at Hendrix's official website, jimihendrix.com"
  • "song (Shadwick noted that it was out-of-tune[10])." → "song, with Shadwick noting that it was out-of-tune.[10]"

Notes

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Footnotes

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  • "proposed songs" → "proposed tracks" on note a

References

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  • 16.7% copyvio score, that's good
  • Make sure to archive all of these with the fix dead links tool

Sources

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  • Good

Overall

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