Talk:Henry M. Mathews/GA1
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Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 19:03, 14 September 2019 (UTC)
Review
[edit]Will review. Stay tuned! MX (✉ • ✎) 19:03, 14 September 2019 (UTC)
Infobox
[edit]- Preceded by Joseph Sprigg - he's mentioned here but nowhere in the body paragraphs. Per WP:INFOBOXCITE, everything in the infobox should be cited and mentioned elsewhere in the sections.
done Newtack101 (talk) 17:22, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- 5th Governor of West Virginia - Needs a source and mention elsewhere in the body that he was the 5th Governor of WV.
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:43, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- March 4, 1877 – March 4, 1881 - The only mentions of "March 4" are here. Needs a source and mention in the sections.
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:43, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- Succeeded by Robert White - Ditto
done Newtack101 (talk) 17:22, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- Died April 28, 1884 - Ditto, the "Later life" section only mentions his year. Does the source include the day and month?
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:43, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- Eliza Shore - A bit picky here, but the "Early life" section gives no mention to "Shore". Please make sure the cited sources include this name, and then incorporate it to that section.
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:43, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- Rank Captain 1861–1863 - The "Military service" section says he served as a private rank. Which of the two is it?
good point, i guess i assumed he passed through the rank of captain on the way to major, but that's not necessarily true. I've removed captain as I can't find it in a source. will address the rest of your points in coming days. Thanks for the review! Newtack101 (talk) 13:43, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Lead paragraph
[edit]- The info here is cited elsewhere in the body and does not need any sources, per WP:LEADCITE. However, I'm concerned with the size and level of detail of the lead. Per MOS:LEADLENGTH, we generally do not write articles with more than four paragraphs. Given the size of this article (in prose), the lead is too long. Leads should also give a general summary of the subject, and I think that trimming these paragraphs will help achieve that. Given the size of the prose in the sections, I think 2 or maybe 3 (but stretching it) paragraphs are enough. I understand this is a guideline, but the guideline is there for a reason; the intro is just too long. A lot of trimming is needed here.
lead has been trimmed. let me know what you think. Newtack101 (talk) 16:49, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Early life
[edit]- years proceeding the outbreak of the American Civil War. – I would link the civil war, for inquisitive readers.
done Newtack101 (talk) 14:29, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- candidate John C. Breckinridge during the 1860 presidential campaign. – Same here for the 1860 United States presidential election
done Newtack101 (talk) 14:29, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- Breckinridge would lose the national vote to Abraham Lincoln, – would lose → lost; simpler
done Newtack101 (talk) 14:29, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- Nevertheless, Greenbrier opposed secession – I think it would be appropriate to link Secession in the United States somewhere
done Newtack101 (talk) 14:29, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Military service
[edit]- Mathews' father, Mason Mathews, who was the Virginia House Delegate – WP:OVERLINK, please remove link for his father
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:48, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- him to Fort Donaldson in Tennessee – Is it Fort Donelson?
good catch, thanks. done Newtack101 (talk) 13:48, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Political rise
[edit]- Though the legislative minority, the generally ex-Confederate led Democrats grew in popularity in the half-decade following the war. In an attempt to appeal to voters In 1871, state Republicans amended the West Virginia State Constitution to return state rights to former Confederates. However, effort backfired as the Democratic party quickly regained control of the legislature. – I would add a source for these claims here, as the following source is too far away.
done Newtack101 (talk) 15:26, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Great Railroad Strikes
[edit]- workers in Martinsburg, West Virginia had been stopping trains to protest wage cuts - Comma after West Virginia,
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:45, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- of the strikes to Pres. Hayes - Hayes by itself is fine
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:45, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- as an 'insurrection' rather than an act of desperation - is it a direct quote? Do "insurrection" instead.
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:45, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
- President Hayes had vowed not to involve the Federal government - Hayes is fine here too.
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:45, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Views on race and slavery
[edit]- he was identified as a Redeemer -- the Southern faction of the Bourbon Democrats. - you should use the – dash instead
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:46, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Later life
[edit]- which was the only political position issued by Robert E. Lee after the Civil War – please remove link on Lee per WP:OVERLINK
done Newtack101 (talk) 13:46, 16 September 2019 (UTC)
Sources
[edit]- Sources are strong and reliable, but there are a lot of standing bare URLs that need to be integrated into an appropriate citation format. See WP:CITET for more details. Something like this would be useful. This format is used in some sources, but not in all. Please make sure this is fixed/consistent.
done. I used shortened footnotes for refs that were repeated in following with wiki guidelines (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:Shortened_footnotes), and modeled after their use in other GA articles (ie, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Conventions). Let me know if you see any other issues. Thanks. Newtack101 (talk) 16:09, 18 September 2019 (UTC)
- @Newtack101: I don't think I was clear, so I apologize. The sources still have bare URLs that aren't incorporated into an appropriate citation format. White, James T. (1904). The National Cyclopaedia of American Biography. James T. White & Co., p. 431. https://books.google.com/?id=TnNMAAAAYAAJ&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false, like many others, for example. Do you understand what I'm referring to, or should I do an example for this one too? Let me know. Thanks! MX (✉ • ✎) 17:45, 18 September 2019 (UTC)
oh, i see. Haha, d'oh. Thanks, will get to work on them. Newtack101 (talk) 13:58, 19 September 2019 (UTC)
Okay, this should be good to go now. Let me know if you see any other issues. Thanks! Newtack101 (talk) 19:32, 21 September 2019 (UTC)