Jump to content

Talk:Hello Good Morning/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: ΣПDiПG–STΛЯT 20:58, 31 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Pre-review dicussion

[edit]

Before reviewing, there are 5 dablinks that need fixing, and one deadlink. Fix those up, and I will begin the review soon. ΣПDiПG–STΛЯT 21:09, 31 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

resolved. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 21:17, 1 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ending-start, you better work your ass off for a good review, Lil-unique is a very good content editor, and I won't accept anything crappy. Unique, I do have one issue while going through the article. Its about the over-sectionalization of some of the content, especially the remix parts. Simply not needed. Can you imagine how long the TOC will be in a 640x480 screen? — Legolas (talk2me) 05:29, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I will, don't worry. I will be as in dept as I can. I can't promise I will notice any ref problems, though. And I agree, there's a lot of different titles that are somewhat unnecessary. ℥nding·start 06:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I will looking into resolving the oversectionalizing. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:30, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Might I suggest just having one section for the "remix videos" and calling it "other versions" and just putting it under "music video." ℥nding·start 07:32, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Review and comments

[edit]

Lead

[edit]
  • "Hello Good Morning" is song by American rapper and producer Diddy and his band Dirty Money... --> Isn't Diddy-Dirty Money a band altogether? There is a page for them, so you should just list a link to that.
no Disagree Per my comments at Talk:Diddy-Dirty Money... they are credited in the album booklet at Dirty Money. And since Diddy is the founding member it is correct to introduce Diddy first. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • lifted from their debut album --> Reword.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comma after the release date.
✗ Not done, its one phrase. Commas are used for subordinate clauses. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove quotation mark before Clifford.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Danja is responsible for the song's production and instrumentation --> Couldn't you just simply say that he produced the song?
 Done, resolved. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Three official remixes were released alongside the main single including the official remix with Rick Ross and Nicki Minaj, the grime remix with Skepta and a Team UK remix with Tinchy Stryder & Tinie Tempah --> Three official remixes were released alongside the main single: the official remix with Rick Ross and Nicki Minaj, the "grime remix" with Skepta, and a "Team UK remix" with Tinchy Stryder and Tinie Tempah.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Critics picked out the song as one of the better cuts from Last Train to Paris, mainly for Danja's production but criticised the lyrics for being superficial and lacking substance --> Critics dubbed the song one of the better songs from Last Train to Paris, noting Danja's production, but criticizing the lyrics for being superficial and lacking substance.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Unlink gold from the "certified gold" link.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Commercially, the single was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for selling in excess of 500,000 copies --> Commercially, the single was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA); selling in excess of 500,000 copies.
no Disagree not sure there's an issue here. Semi-colons are uses to link to sentences which could stand on their own as separate sentences. "selling in excess of 500,000 copies." would be a phrase not a sentence. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Internationally the single peaked at number twenty-two in UK and was also particularly successful on the German Black Chart and UK R&B Chart, respectively peaking at number one and number eight --> Internationally the song peaked at number twenty-two in the UK, and was also particularly successful on the German Black Chart and UK R&B Chart; respectively peaking at number one and number eight.
resolved -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Hello Good Morning" was promoted with live performances on season nine of American Idol and Friday Night with Jonathan Ross amongst TV appearances --> "Hello Good Morning" was promoted with several live television performances, including the ninth season of American Idol and Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, amongst others.
resolved comments -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • features Dirty Money --> Diddy-Dirty Money
resolved -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • An edited version of the clip was made for the official remix and a completely new street party-themed video was filmed for the grime remix --> Comma between the two different videos.
Resolved -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:43, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

[edit]
  • Is there a version of the cover without the sticker? If so, please upload it.
Can't find one. As far as I'm aware only explicit versions of the song were released as a single. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • see release history --> put in small tags.
✗ Not done as it is not accessible. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Unbold the year of "Winner"
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Composition

[edit]
  • track --> song
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:47, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Remixes

[edit]
  • Move to below the track listing section.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:56, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove the word help from the first sentence.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:56, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dubbed the 'Official Remix', it was released in the United States on June 29, 2010 for digital download It was dubbed the "Official Remix," and was released in the United States digitally on June 29, 2010.
resolved. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:56, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • the new version featured Tinie Tempah and Tinchy Stryder in place of Minaj and Ross. ---> this version featured Tinie Tempah and Tinchy Stryder.
 Done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:56, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • On December 31, 2010, a remix featuring Eminem was released --> On December 31, 2010, another remix of the song featuring rapper Eminem was released (where/how was it released?)
removed. someone managed to spam that in while i wasn't looking. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 07:56, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

[edit]
  • "Timba-pop, albeit one with a better-than-average hook and" He also --> and should be outside the quote, and he should be lowercase.
fixed. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 08:08, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • 'Idolator' --> italicized instead of [whatever those things are called, I forget - fml]?
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 08:08, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Unneeded quotation mark before "five."
couldn't find. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 08:08, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Track --> song
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 08:08, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Those things again on The Guardian, remove.
LOL, removed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 08:08, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Chart performance

[edit]
  • Dirty Money's --> Diddy-Dirty Money. Unless Diddy didn't perform too?
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • T.I --> T.I.
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Logged --> got or received
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • peak since his hit single --> remove hit.
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • for selling at least 500 copies --> 500 copies?!
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Elsewhere the single also proved successful on urban charts --> What is elsewhere? reword.
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The single's most successful charting came in the UK --> reword.
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • it also became T.I. best UK --> reword, but wasn't this already said earlier, or something similar?
the earlier mention is T.I.'s success in the US, this paragraph is about the UK.
  • In the rest of Europe the single had mixed success --> comma after success.
fixed -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:31, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

[edit]
  • The final scene of the clip where Dawn, Diddy and Kalenna (L to R)... --> the final scene of the video.
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Background and concept
[edit]
  • The finished clip for "Hello Good Morning", directed by Hype Williams,[32] premiered on May 11, 2010 through Dirty Money's official VEVO account --> reword.
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • as the album version but --> comma after version.
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • T.I.'s scenes were amongst the last to be filmed, and took place in an apartment in Bel Aire, CA. --> Really needed? There's no mention of when the other scenes were filmed.
Yes there is in the behind the scenes video.... it shows that T.I.'s scenes were filmed on Day 4, the final day of the video shoot, in different location to the original shoot. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Synopsis
[edit]
  • Reword section.
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Remix videos
[edit]
  • Reword, and make the different remix video versions flow together.
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:46, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

[edit]
  • Dirty Money --> Diddy-Dirty Money
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:47, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Season nine --> ninth season.
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:47, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel

[edit]
  • Replace the normal dash with either "–" or "—".
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 20:41, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Radio and release history

[edit]
  • Couldn't this just be simply titled release history?
Nope .... per previous discussions radio add dates and purchase dates should appear separately. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:49, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Purchaseable release --> purchasable (why do I see this all the time spelled wrong?)
don't shoot a slight dyslexic. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 19:49, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
[edit]
  • Two problems with this, one it just redirects to a different site, and secondly the website has nothing to do with this article. Maybe add the music video instead, or just remove it altogether.
done -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 20:48, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Final criteria

[edit]
GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Great work Unique! This article is truly amazing! I can see a lot of hard work went into it! ℥nding·start 21:02, 2 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Hello_Good_Morning/GA1&oldid=1148855575"