Talk:Hell Yeah! Wrath of the Dead Rabbit/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Status (talk · contribs) 16:23, 17 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I must say, this is quite an interesting game concept.
Lead is a bit short. How about adding some information about what you actually do in the game, and how critics reacted to it?
"Gaming websites were sharply divided over the game with." → With what?
"the relatively high score" → "a relatively high score"
"Critics praised the game's visuals." → This seems a bit too, I'm not sure how to describe it, it doesn't really go anywhere or add anything, just a statement.
"Lawrence Sonntag of Inside Gaming Daily comments that..." → "Lawrence Sonntag of Inside Gaming Daily wrote that..."
"Tom Bramwell of Eurogamer says that the game is..." → "Tom Bramwell of Eurogamer wrote that the game is..."

Responses in order:

Agreed. But normal is overrated.
Expanded the lead.
Removed the word 'with'. Originally that sentence and the next one were one giant run on, but I split them.
I disagree, but I changed it.
I put it in to contextualize the next sentence and help balance out the tone of the review section. Should I combine it with the next sentence?
Changed.
Changed.

Sven Manguard Wha? 00:54, 18 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"...giving it very low ones" → really not feeling this, it doesn't sound very professionally written at all.
"The game was roundly praised for its looks..." → What exactly does "roundly" mean? And looks, I assume that means graphics?

Did another round of tweaks. How does it work now? Sven Manguard Wha? 06:07, 18 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I think we're good now! Passing the article! Great work. P.S. I've just went and combined the sentences to create: "Critics praised the game's visuals, with Lawrence Sonntag of Inside Gaming Daily writing that..." — Statυs (talk, contribs) 13:47, 18 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.