Talk:Heart of Glory/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 01:36, 18 June 2013 (UTC)

I'll try to review this week. I don't think I've seen this episode, but that screencap looks an awful lot like a TARDIS... Glimmer721 ^talk 01:36, 18 June 2013 (UTC)

• "Rob Bowman thought that the episode worked well, and he included an overhead shot on the engineering set which had not been done before on the show." This just seems kind of strange. What is the connection between the two clauses? (There is more detail in the production section...perhaps mention how he played around with the direction of the ending.)

• I've broken it into two sentences and slightly expanded. Miyagawa (talk) 23:17, 20 June 2013 (UTC)

• There is no broadcast or reception in lead.

• Added. Miyagawa (talk) 23:17, 20 June 2013 (UTC)

• "Kunivas' condition worsens, and Korris, Konmel, and Worf are present when he dies, and let out a fierce roar as per Klingon custom." Perhaps clarify that it is the latter three characters that roar (as Kunivas is still the subject of the sentence).

• I've copyedited it to change it to "Kunivas' condition worsens, and Korris, Konmel, and Worf are present when he dies, and the three let out a fierce roar as per Klingon custom." Miyagawa (talk) 23:17, 20 June 2013 (UTC)

• " Re-runs were shown of "The Battle" and "Hide and Q" over the next two weeks, and when "The Arsenal of Freedom" was shown three weeks later, the ratings had decreased to 10.4 million." I'm not sure this is relevant. The next sentence seems to get the point across.

• Removed as suggested. Miyagawa (talk) 23:17, 20 June 2013 (UTC)

• " DeCandido is a novellist and has produced works based in the Star Trek universe, who describes himself as "the Klingon guy" as far as Star Trek novellists are concerned." Since the "who" doesn't come after the subject, change it to "and".

• Changed as suggested. Miyagawa (talk) 23:17, 20 June 2013 (UTC)

Otherwise I just made some grammatical changes. On hold for 7 days. Good work. I don't think I've seen this episode. Glimmer721 ^talk 20:27, 20 June 2013 (UTC)

• Thanks for the review. I can only vaguely recall the episode - pretty much only the scene with the Klingon death scene. Miyagawa (talk) 23:17, 20 June 2013 (UTC)

• You're welcome. I will now pass. Glimmer721 ^talk 00:52, 21 June 2013 (UTC)