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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 06:14, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·


A bunch of copy changes. Fun to read about this legitimately flash-in-the-pan advertising meme again. Felt like they sponsored every closed captioning announcement on CNN back during this time.

Copy changes

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  • A previous version of the commercial claimed the product provided headache relief, but was pulled after objections from the Better Business Bureau. Remove comma; second half has no subject of its own. User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (CinS)
  • No clinical trial has ever found evidence for the product's efficacy and medical experts have widely described it as a placebo Add comma after "efficacy" (CinS)
  • Hyphenate "late-night"
  • Change to "reruns of Seinfeld" as the show was no longer on network TV by 2006, so it would not have been new.
  • Both The Today Show and Ad Age described the commercial as "obnoxious" and multiple reviewers joked that the commercial gave viewers headaches. Comma after "obnoxious" (CinS)
  • The 2008 spoof film Disaster Movie included a parody of the commercial and other parodies were shared on the online video-sharing platform YouTube Add comma after "commercial" (CinS)
  • Hyphenate "year-on-year". Also, 2005 to 2007 YOY doesn't make sense and isn't justified by the source.

Spot checks

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  • 7: Cannot access. Doing...
    • 8: The ads may have earned HeadOn some notice, and our worst-commercial dishonor for 2006, but I can't abide the thought that those obnoxious ads are making the company rich. checkY
  • 9: Accessed on EBSCOhost. checkY
    • Labeled obnoxious: They're annoying, repetitive, obnoxious-and effective.
    • Parodies on Leno, SNL, and the Daily Show.
    • Sales: HeadOn is logging some heady growth rates-234% from 2005 to 2006. And for the first half of 2007, the brand looks to be on track to double sales. No proof of 2007 YOY, though "on track"...
    • Yet the campy spots...
    • Miralus' ActivOn, for joint pain, launched in 2006, has leapfrogged past HeadOn...
  • 12: Cardozo Law Review. Checks out checkY
    • Footnote: Despite this impressive growth rate, it is unclear whether Miralus ever turned a profit. The company was still not profitable in late 2007.
    • pages 1278–1280 discuss ...The role of familiarity in building positive affective responses (i.e., “liking”) and structuring choice tasks is well-documented not only in consumer psychology literature, but in cognitive psychology studies as well.110 Importantly, these effects of familiarity and liking can be cultivated by mere repetition of a brand name
    • glue-stick-like applicator
    • purchased by consumers at prices between five and eight dollars per unit
    • Medical experts argued consistently and repeatedly on the broadcast networks and in major daily newspapers that any perceived headache relief delivered by HeadOn was due to the placebo effect
    • Miralus intended to sell HeadOn as a topical headache remedy, but the product contained only trace amounts of its claimed effective ingredients
  • 14: WaPo article.
    • Dan Charron, vice president of sales and marketing for Miralus, said the company used data from the Homeopathic Pharmacopoeia of the United States -- a standard reference for homeopathic practitioners -- to create the product
    • HeadOn, he said, contains highly dilute amounts of white bryony (a type of vine) and potassium dichromate -- said by the Pharmacopoeia to cause headaches. Mainstream doctors don't believe these substances cause or cure headaches

Earwig only catches a quote and the ad script plus one or two banal phrases.

Media

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The logo is below TOO (mostly colored text and shadow on background). The fair-use video has valid NFUR and is discussed amply enough in the article.

Response

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@Sammi Brie: I've addressed all of your concerns except for the applicability of year-on-year, which I'm not sure I understand. Is it because the source doesn't have the full data for years 2006–07? :3 F4U (they/it) 12:41, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Freedom4U In part, because I don't think that quite verifies the statement. But year-over-year can't be stated as a two-year gap like it is now: doubling sales year-on-year between 2005 to 2007. Maybe doubling sales year-on-year from 2005 to 2006. That would make sense. Sammi Brie (she/her • tc) 18:37, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Sammi Brie: I've addressed that point, but now I have another concern:
When writing the article I came across a site mentioning that a law firm was intending to sue Miralus Healthcare—however because of the total lack of secondary reporting on the suit, I didn't include it in the article.
However, apparently this dead link [1] (one archive on IA, but it's also dead) reported on it. In addition, there's this tiny blurb from Courthouse News service [2], and it's mentioned in passing here [3]. I believe these are the relevant court documents against Walmart and against Walgreens/RiteAid for selling the product.
Is my judgement correct that this still shouldn't be mentioned in the article for the lack of secondary sources on this? :3 F4U (they/it) 19:53, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I think you made the right call. Amazingly coverage of Miralus just drops like a rock after this...to zero. Sammi Brie (she/her • tc) 22:58, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Hahahaha yeah! The only reason this fits under lasting notability is because of the damn commercial, which still gets cited today as a terrible yet effective marketing campaign. If that's all the comments, then I think I've addressed everything now. :3 F4U (they/it) 23:01, 8 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.