Talk:Hasil Adkins/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TheQ Editor (talk · contribs) 20:24, 23 May 2014 (UTC)

I have seen this article has been nominated for 46 days. It looks great with some minor problems mostly aimed at the tone and the Well Written criteria. Happy editing,TheQ Editor (Talk) 20:24, 23 May 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for taking this on, TheQ Editor! It's a busy Memorial Day weekend for me, but I should be able to tackle this piece by piece over the next few days. — MusikAnimal ^talk 22:23, 23 May 2014 (UTC)

@TheQ Editor: I have another busy week ahead... you may see me doing RCP work or other simple tasks. However copy editing and research takes dedicated time and undivided attention, so I may not get to issues involving tone until as late as Thursday (5/59). Just wanted to let you know that addressing these GA concerns is in fact a priority. Thank you for your patience! — MusikAnimal ^talk 14:31, 27 May 2014 (UTC)

@TheQ Editor: Ignore my last ping. Turns out time was on my side. Hopefully I've done a fair job at addressing the outlined issues, specifically the NPOV section. Thanks for the help! — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:57, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

Review

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Notes

Well written

• Pronunciation of Hasil Adkins's name should use IPA (although not necessary)

Good idea. I plan to do this, just need to figure out how :) — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:54, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

I did this for you, you can look at the syntax if you want.TheQ Editor (Talk) 19:37, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

• What does various mean in the part labels in the infobox?
• Put "The Haze" in italics for the nickname parts.
• "He also dated a girl named Hazel" -who is he?
• Adkins given name-Adkins needs an apostrophe (Adkin's)

I believe punctuation is indeed needed, but perhaps presented as Adkins' instead of Adkin's, as the ending s is part of the name itself. — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:03, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

Oops, looks like a read wrong and made a typo.TheQ Editor (Talk) 19:28, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

• Adkins passionately loved to eat meat -which Adkins? Hasil Adkins or the family?

I have prefixed the given name for clarification. — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:03, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

• liquor and cigarettes-wikilink them
• One such incident occurred in 1957, when he and three friends drove a car off a mountain -no comma to make it a full sentence
• when a shootout occurred between Adkins and a jealous husband - how is that a love story? Is there someone else involved?

I have reworded to denote what we know, which is simply that Adkins was in a relationship which turned sour when a shootout occurred with his lover's husband. — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:03, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

• Not long after, another love story ended in jail time -Not long after, how long excatly?

I'm actually not sure. Upon further research all I can attest is that the events occurred in the same year, and I have rewritten accordingly. — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:03, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

• what would become his hallmark sound - should be which
• "One of the Greatest Shows on Earth, the One Man Band Haze Adkins and his Happy Guitar"should be in italics
• The song names should be in quotations

Perhaps I'm missing one, but the all song titles already appear to be wrapped in quotations. If you are referring to how Hair High, that is actually a film title and not a song, which as a whole he helped score. — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:03, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

• President of the United States, and in 1970 -replace comma with period

Referencing

• ref 35 is a dead link. Consider using WayBackMachine to search for the archived url.

Broadness

• similarly pronounced "Bassel" -goes off topic

I merely wanted to touch on the fact that his brother's name is pronounced in the same unconventional way as Hasil's. If deemed too off topic we should probably remove mention of his brother altogether. — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:03, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

Never mind, sorry.

NPOV

• Quote From humble beginnings, Adkins' bizarre and mythically proportioned lifestyle is reflected in his music-contains bias.Wikipedia is not an essay.
• outlandish tone in writing-bias
• Racous in sound, frenetic in progression and demented in lyrical content, Adkins was known as having a bizarre take on traditional rockabilly-bias
• His lyrical perspective was distinctly crazed and often humorous in nature -bias

I have reworded the above in hopes to reduce any potential bias while retaining relevant information. "From humble beginnings, Adkins' spirited lifestyle is reflected in his music", specifically, is worded to convey Adkins' personal life and its correlation to his music, in an attempt at WP:LEADFOLLOWSBODY. Hopefully all of this sounds better... sometimes it takes another set of eyes to realize these things! — MusikAnimal ^talk 03:51, 28 May 2014 (UTC)

Stability

• Stable, no edit wars.

Images

• All images are free to use.
• @MusikAnimal:One additional issue I forgot to mention was that the picture in the infobox needs an appropriate caption. If that is fixed, welcome the article to GA.

 Done — MusikAnimal ^talk 19:34, 28 May 2014 (UTC)