Talk:Hannah Dodd/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:17, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Not sure the nickname of the Australian national wheelchair basketball team is needed in the lead.
Y} removed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The lead is a little brief, you should expand it to cover each of the sections.
Expanded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"She has sacral agenesis and spina bifida with upper limb dystonia,[2][3][4][5][6] " are five references really needed here?
Y Reduced to one. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"who ride horses" is this important? Do they do it for a job?
YDeleted the last clause. It was only to note that horse riding runs in the family. Many people don't ride horses much these days. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"caliper" is a dab link.
Y corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"As of 2012" it's now late 2015, is she still doing those things?
Y Yes, she is. I'll update the article when something changes. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"Because of her disability, " which particular part?
Y Not sure. Deleted that phrase. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Her date of birth is incorrect.
N No, it's right. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Not according to this. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:55, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
That's a typo. It is 27 April. Hawkeye7 (talk) 11:12, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
And this? How do you know which one is correct? The Rambling Man (talk) 11:30, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I asked her of course. (Can you read her Facebook page?) Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:58, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Well since two RS say otherwise, I think you need a note to explain that they are in error. And no, I can't read her Facebook page. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:13, 4 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Added a note explaining that the APC page contains a typo. I'll ask the APC to fix the page. Hannah had John Vandenberg correct the date when we spoke with her on 20 July last year. Hawkeye7 (talk) 07:40, 4 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I don't doubt you're right, but since we have conflicting RSs and since I noticed it, we need to address it, so thanks for doing that. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:57, 4 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
[2][4][6] again and again, is there any need for three references for each sentence?
Done Trimmed them back. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"She was able to ride on her own, before she learned to walk, by the time she was two years old." reorder.
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Second para of the Equestrian section is very clunky with lots of very short sentences, it makes for uncomfortable reading.
Y Yeah. Gone over it again to smooth things out a bit more. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"After London," meh, would prefer to see "After the London Olympics" or similar.
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
" U25" spell it out.
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"In 2015, her classification was dropped to a 2.0." unreferenced.
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
This seems to have more information that could be included (e.g. competing in England in 2006).
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Shouldn't "Hills Shire Times" etc be in italics?
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Be consistent with reference author names, either "first last" or "last, first" but not a mixture.
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Why Wanganuichronicle.co.nz when Wanganui Chronicle seems to be consistent?
Y Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Daily Telegraph needs a location as there are different publications around the world with the same title.
Y Really? I didn't think it was that good. Disambiguated. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

A few issues so I'll put it on hold. The Rambling Man (talk) 08:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review. Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:51, 3 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

All good now, so I've passed it. Nice work. The Rambling Man (talk) 07:59, 4 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]