Talk:Hamari Beti

A fact from Hamari Beti appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 23 March 2022 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that the 1950 Hindi film Hamari Beti, which featured Nutan's first lead role, at 14 years of age, was directed by her mother?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2022/March. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Hamari Beti.

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Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Theleekycauldron (talk) 21:46, 15 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

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~~... that Nutan started her career as a lead actress at age 14 with Hamari Beti (1950), directed and produced by her mother Shobhna Samarth?~~ Sources: The Tribune (2021): "Nutan started her career at the age of 14 in the 1950 film Hamari Beti, directed by her mother Shobhna" + Dawar, Ramesh (2006). Bollywood: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow: "her director-producer-mother launched her as a heroine in her own production 'Hamari Beti' in 1950".
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Tuttle Capital Short Innovation ETF

Created by Shshshsh (talk). Self-nominated at 12:21, 4 March 2022 (UTC).[reply]

Long enough (1856 characters), new enough (March 3), evry non-lead paragraph has citations, sources seem good, image has appropriate public domain tags for Indian and US law, no apparent plagiarism but Google Books isn't showing me all the pages so I'm assuming good faith, QPQ is done.
Tone is for the most part neutral, but perhaps the word scathing seems a bit strong to have in Wikipedia's voice? But I'm not sure that's an issue.
Hook is less than 200 characters and properly formatted. AGF on contents of book sources backing up inforomation -- I only have Google snippet view which makes it hard to verify; Nutan and her mother are both dead so we don't have to worry about negative aspects of living people.
Note WP:LEAD Apart from basic facts, significant information should not appear in the lead if it is not covered in the remainder of the article. The lead should serve as a brief overview of what is in the rest of the article, but as of now the information in your hook is only in the lead but not in the body.
interesting Every actress has a first movie -- the interesting part is that her first movie was made by her mother so I think that should be the emphasized part.
- ALT1 ... that the Indian actress Nutan's first lead role was at age 14 in a film directed and produced by her mother?
- ALT2 ... that Shobhna Samarth directed and produced Hamari Beti as a star vehicle for her 14 year old daughter, Nutan?
Does something like one of those sound good for you? Just a minor tweak so the pith of the hook doesn't look like an afterthought?
So in sum, I think the hook could be (slightly) re-written to be "hookier" in its information structure, and that the article could be rewritten slightly so that it follows MOS:LEAD, but neither of these are big deals. Book sources / Google Books Snippet view make it hard to check copyright/veracity, so I'm AGF otherwise. Does this make sense? Umimmak (talk) 21:05, 4 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much, Umimmak, for your meticulous review. I've rewritten the article so that everything appears first in the body and then summarised in the lead. Most sources have been removed from the lead. Since most of my work has focused on articles related to film, "scathing" is a common word, but changed it anyway to "negative".
Your hooks are definitely better than mine, honestly. :) Either one is good for me. If I have to pick one, I'd say the first one is hookier, as you've nicely put it (although the second one appears more detailed), so let's stick with it. Shahid • ^Talk2me 22:48, 4 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Shshshsh: okay, thank you. I'll approve (AGF because I can't access all of the references). I struck out your initial hook and my ALT2 to make it clearer for the promoter. I'd recommend rewriting the lead a bit more; the second sentence right now is a bit cumbersome and it's unclear what a "social film" is (it does not seem to be the sense used in social film) but I won't let that hold up the nomination. Umimmak (talk) 23:02, 4 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, Umimmak, for approving this nomination. I've copyedited the lead to address your points. It's a social comedy (or comedy of manners, which is how it's described later in the article). Shahid • ^Talk2me 23:23, 4 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
- @Shshshsh and Umimmak: How about an ALT1a: ... that 1950 Hindi film Hamari Beti stars the director's 14-year-old daughter, marking her first lead role?

- @Theleekycauldron: I would still mention the mother and daughter's name. Part of the hook is that the director is a woman, and Nutan is a popular actress whose name should add to its "hookiness". Shahid • ^Talk2me 21:42, 15 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

ALT1a(?) to T:DYK/P4