Talk:Hair (Lady Gaga song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 05:26, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 ^[talk] 23:43, 4 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

will begin soon. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 ^[talk] 23:43, 4 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am the reviewer now.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 05:26, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Non-reviewer comment: I do not believe that the "Chart performance" section is comprehensive enough. Several charts are omitted, and the prose only mentions the debuts rather than peaks (although debuts may be the peaks) and number of weeks. Adabow (talk · contribs) 08:18, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- What charts do you believe are omitted? We don't need a market-by-market analysis do we? Especially when the song charted for one/two weks in every nation. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 09:25, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  - Belgian, Danish, French, and South Korea. The section isn't extremely long at the moment so I don't think that it would be excessive to add such charts to explain "and top-twenty in others". Adabow (talk · contribs) 09:40, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    - Yes Ada, I thought about that, but won't that be too repetitive? I mean all I can mention are the debut peaks. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 09:50, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      - What about '...and top-twenty in France and Belgium's Flanders and Wallonia. It also appeared on the Danish Singles Chart and the Gaon chart.'? But re-reading the section is seems to cover most charts pretty well... hehe do what you feel like but I would mention every chart, even if it's just to say it appeared on the chart. Adabow (talk · contribs) 09:56, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
        I can do that but I fear WP:UNDUE in this. LEts see. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 11:51, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
        Settle down folks :) So I agree that a few more lines would help. Do not fear though, you've written probably 40 of these song sections already, it really is no different.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 13:17, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Lead reads well, nicely done
"Hair" was recorded while Gaga was on tour throughout Europe. -> maybe you should mention the tour to give the sentence more oomph
though some of them -> you didn't mention a subject yet, so just write "though some"
hair to express these messages -> hair as a form of expression was not new or original
major musical markets -> I think music market is more proper
reaching the top-ten, it charted within the top-twenty -> tense
- Done all. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 05:30, 25 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Background

"Hair" was written and produced Gaga and RedOne,[3] and the name of the song was revealed through an interview with Vogue magazine in February 2011. -> doesn't flow well
thematically it focuses -> focusing
- Done all. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 05:30, 25 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]
started selling considerable amount of digital downloads
Hence "Hair" -> Hence, "Hair"
Gaga noted that although "Hair" was not planned to be an official single, it could be released as such, if it sells well at the digital outlets like "The Edge of Glory". -> The tense needs fixing
- Fixed issues 2 and 3. I don't understand the first one. WIKIPEDIAN PENGUIN ^(♫♫) 17:37, 8 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Recording

Other influences included metal bands like Kiss and Iron Maiden on the melody -> source?
Next info is also unsourced
- All from Ryan "closetted gay" Seacrest's show.
Gaga's references for the saxophone solo was E Street Band and Bruce Springsteen and for her it represented "the isolation in the music dichotomy, [representing] the whole spectrum of music." -> This is difficult to understand. The quote needs a better introduction
Clarence Clemons over-link
Clemons replied that he can record it on the coming -> tense, that he would be able
A little run-on
So Clemons flew -> Not a good start for a sentence
in Manhattan in midnight -> at
he says -> said
Place the Rolling Stone source on more lines. Many appear not referenced
The music notes sentence needs proper punctuation (periods, commas)
Needs clean-up as well
time"[3] The
- Fixed issues 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 13. WIKIPEDIAN PENGUIN ^(♫♫) 17:37, 8 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- All done. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 07:36, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

self-esteem and liberation to free-flowing coiffure -> this is a quote
great tune and an Europop high-energy epic -> quote

Chart performance

In all the markets that "Hair" charted, its debut position on the charts became its peak position and it was present for a maximum of two weeks. -> This sentence reads poorly and is difficult to navigate
region -> (s)
and in the Gaon Chart of South Korea, it reached a peak position of number 21, on the International download chart. -> c/e

Live performances

The beginning needs some tightening and sourcing. Don't go four or five sentences without a source
She was dressed in and her teal colored hair fell into a long tail beside her

Done. On hold :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 17:00, 8 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Done all. — Legolas ^(talk2me) 07:36, 9 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  - Great. Its a pass!--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:06, 10 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]