Talk:HMS Gipsy (H63)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: CrowzRSA 03:56, 26 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

prewar should be changed to "pre-war".
- Done.
The ship was transferred shortly after the beginning of World War II to the British Isles to escort shipping in local waters. This sentence needs to be re-organized. I recommend something like: "The ship was transferred shortly to the British Isles to escort shipping after the beginning of World War II.
- Agreed.
Less than a month after her arrival she struck a mine outside… Change "mine" to "naval mine".
- No, it's linked, that suffices.
…outside Harwich and sank with the loss of 30 of her crew.. Reads poorly. Change to: "…outside Harwich, causing her to sink and lose of 30 of her crew."
- I disagree.
You link "overall length" to Overall length, when it should actually link to Length overall.
- Good catch.
Meters needs to be linked.
- Really? Feet and meters both linked.
You say that it can carry 470 long tons (480 t) of fuel oil, but shouldn't the measurements be in gallons or something? Maybe I'm ignorant…
- Nope, that's how it's measured in ships.
For anti-aircraft defence Gipsy had… it's defense, not "defence".
- Not in British English.
The link "21-inch (533 mm)" should be extended to "21-inch (533 mm) torpedoes".
- Done.
"…but this increased shortly after the war began to 35. Reads poorly. Change to "but this increased to 35 shortly after the war began".
- Good idea.
at Govan in Scotland Change to "at Govan, Scotland".
- Done.
Exclusive of government-furnished equipment like the armament, the ship cost £250,364. This line doesn't read well to me. It should be re-worded.
- Done.
…Gipsy spent the prewar period… prewar → pre-war.
Done already.
Unlink "1st Destroyer Flotilla" and re-word to "first Destroyer Flotilla".
- Military unit names are not spelled out. 82nd Airborne Division, 1st Cruiser Squadron, etc.
On the outbreak of war in September 1939 Gipsy was… Comma after 1939.
- Good catch.
Again, 1st Destroyer Flotilla → first Destroyer Flotilla.
- Again, no.
Gipsy, and her entire flotilla, was transferred to the Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October. Several problems with this sentence. Re-word to "Gipsy and her entire flotilla were transferred to the Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October 1939".
- Done
…and returned to port to turn them over the army. Which army are you referring to?
- The one garrisoning Harwich in the UK.
Trust your luck Luck should be capitalized.
- Why? It's a motto, not a title. Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 06:41, 26 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

This is all I see, I will place the article on hold for a few weeks before I fail it (if comments aren't attended to). Good luck, CrowzRSA 04:26, 26 February 2011 (UTC).[reply]