Talk:HMS Foxhound (H69)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:HMS Foxhound (H69)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:33, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

This is my first GA review of a military equipment related article. I hope I give proper comments, you can guide me if I am mistaken. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 07:33, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• In the 2nd para of lead, can we say "December 1941"? In other articles I have seen years being clearly stated at the start of any section.
  • That seems kind of insulting to readers, implying that they can't remember what year is mean when it's spelled out in the previous paragraph, so I think that you've been led astray here.

I see. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• In the same para, and then in West Africa, should this read "western Africa"?
  • I don't think so, because I wanted to maintain the parallel between South and West Africa.

I see. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

Desription

 Done Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• Can "Mark I mounts" and "torpedo tube mounts" be linked?
  • Added a link to torpedo tubes and deleted the Mk I bit as excessive detail.

Thanks. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• Which war is being referred to in but this increased to 35 shortly after the war began?
  • Clarified.

Thanks. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• In the subsection "Wartime modifications", 'B' gun was replaced by a Hedgehog --> "The" 'B' gun was replaced by a Hedgehog
  • I don't think that the article "the" is actually necessary here.

You should know better about it. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• Should "it's" not be "it is" in It's likely that the Vickers guns were replaced by the Oerlikons? Also, I feel we should have links for the guns.
  • Good catch. Both guns are linked on first use, a paragraph or two earlier.

Thanks. Oh, I got the links now. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

Construction and career

• "Royal Navy" should be linked. It is the first mention in the main text. Same for Mediterranean Fleet and Force H
  • In short articles like this one, I only link once, on first mention.

So you rely on the links from the lead. As you wish. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:02, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• both sides in the Spanish Civil War Link it and mention the years.

Don't if you do not wish to repeat links and facts from the lead. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:02, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• Gibraltar should be linked at first mention in the section.

Don't if you do not wish to repeat links from the lead. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:02, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• The ship cost 247,234 pounds Is it possible to add a money conversion template here?
  • Sadly, no, because warships are a capital cost, and cost of living indexes aren't appropriate. Forex, modern destroyers cost upwards of 3000 times as much money, but are only about 6 times larger. Food's gone up a lot since the early '30s, but not by that much.

Oh, I see. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:02, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• The 6th DF was renumbered --> The sixth DF was renumbered Please check for similar instances where numbers less than 10 have to be put to words.
  • While ordinarily a good idea, I need to maintain consistency with the 12th Escort Group and other unit designations.

Absolutely. This is not an absolute rule, and the reason you wish it to remain so is quite reasonable. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:02, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• Home Fleet is linked on second mention in the main text
• Can you link or give the years for the Second Battle of Narvik?
  • Done in the lede.

You may wish to repeat it here, but it is not mandatory. Don't if you do not wish to repeat links and facts from the lead. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• During May, she escorted troop convoys to Iceland as they occupied the island Why is Iceland linked while other countries are not? This is seen throughout the article.
  • That's a fair cop, guv. Done.

Thanks. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

Force H, 1940-41

• On the morning of 3 July, she ferried Captain Cedric Holland When we begin a section we generally start anew with the terms. We should say "On the morning of 3 July 1940, Foxhound ferried Captain Cedric Holland".
  • She was mentioned by name in the previous sentence and it seems awkward to use it again so soon.

OK, I am noticing the paras too much! Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• when the British Prime Minister, Winston Churchill I think the link should be for List of Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom
  • Good idea.

Thanks. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• The British opened fire a half-hour later, including Foxhound Source for the "including Foxhound" part?
  • The following cite includes that info.

Can the cite be added at the end of the line? You never know when somebody will attach a "citation needed" tag there. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:57, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

1942-46

• Link reserve and scrap as has been done in the lead.

Don't if you do not wish to repeat links and facts from the lead. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:03, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

• Images: There are only two images but they nearly suffice for the article. My suggestion would be to add one or two more to the latter part of the article if possible.
  • Added the only other picture on Commons. Thanks for reviewing the article.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:47, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

Great, it looks more interesting. Thanks for your friendly help, I need to learn from you. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:59, 12 March 2016 (UTC)

@Sturmvogel 66: In my opinion the article meets all the GA criteria now. No copyvio detected, no unsourced claims, images are proper and without issues. I am happy to promote this article. Cheers! Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 04:30, 19 March 2016 (UTC)