Talk:Guttorm of Norway/GA1
GA Review
[edit]| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum (talk · contribs) 22:27, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
Lead
"... in the ongoing civil war era."
That implies the era is still ongoing today. And shouldn't "civil war" be capitalised?
"He was proclaimed king by the birkebeiner party ...".
Shouldn't "birkebeiner" be capitalised? Same with "bagler party" later.
"He was proclaimed king by the birkebeiner party when he was just four years old, as a grandson of King Sverre.
There's something wrong with the ordering of ideas there. I can't help but feel that the grandson bit ought to come before his proclamation as king. Perhaps something along the lines of "A grandson of King Sverre, he was proclaimed king ..."?
"... led to renewed conflict with the bagler party".
Renewed conflict between who and the bagler party? The birkebeiner party?
"Despite his status as king, Guttorm is not counted in the official Norwegian regnal list."
Why not?
Background
"Another of Sverre's nephews, Peter Støyper, was appointed to the personal fostering and supervision of Guttorm.
I'm really uncomfortable with that phrasing, as you're appointed to a position, not to things like "personal fostering", whatever that means. Could we reasonably say that Peter was appointed as Guttorm's guardian, or something similar?
Revolt and death
"... contributed to conflicts both within the birkeiner, and towards the bagler."
You can't have conflicts "towards".
"... the bagler was reportedly led to believe ...".
Led by whom? Reported by whom? And it seems odd to refer to a party in the singular.
"Valdemar landed in Viken in June with more than 300 ships ...".
He didn't land with any ships at all, they all remained at sea.
"... derived from rumours spurred among the birkebeiner ...".
"Spurred" can't possibly be the right word. Spread?
Response
[edit]- Thanks for your copyedits and quick review of this article. Besides the issues I discuss further below, I believe I have sufficiently addressed your comments in my last edit. Thhist (talk) 08:42, 13 October 2012 (UTC)
- I don't know if its more correct to capitalise "civil war", it seems that either are accepted (American Civil War, but Syrian civil war). In this article's case, it is also just a historiographical term, so perhaps its best to not capitalise?
- I haven't actually found any source yet that directly says why Guttorm is not listed in the official Norwegian regnal list.
- Another issue; although the only source specifically giving his year of birth says 1200, all sources agree that Guttorm was four years old when he became king (on 2 January 1204). According to simple calculations, this would however make his year of birth 1199 (unless he was born exactly on 1 January 1204, which is highly unlikely). I will thus change his year of birth back to 1199 (this is actually what it said in the article before my edits).Thhist (talk) 10:04, 14 October 2012 (UTC)
That'll do for me. I'm quite impressed that you've managed to squeeze so much out of such a short reign. Malleus Fatuorum 14:55, 15 October 2012 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.