Talk:Grey Gowrie/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:50, 10 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I can take a look at this! — Ghost River 16:50, 10 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

"he turned it down, causing some scandal when he said that the salary of £33,000 was not enough to live on in London, despite being three times the average salary in the city." seems WP:UNDUE, since this was only given one sentence in the body - this was included as it was a point which followed the subject for years after, but indeed, in the overall context, perhaps not lede material and so removed.

Life

Early life and education

End the WL after just "Alexander Hore-Ruthven" - done
Properly disambiguate Lough Derg - as no source is clear on which Lough Derg, simply removed, sentence simplified.
"at which point he became" → "at which point Gowrie became" - done.

Titles and university

Rather than parentheses around "the Scottish lordship", that can be made into a separate sentence - done.

Academic and art dealer

Replace hyphen and spaces with new sentence after "National Gallery of Ireland" - done.
Link to National Gallery of Art for the Washington museum - done.

Political career

When was he appointed a Conservative whip? - done, and merged with another point.
Comma after "said of him" - done.
No italics are needed around the ministerial posts - done.
"(deputy to the Secretary of State)" → "a deputy position to the Secretary of State," - clarified.
Pipe "IRA hunger strikes" to 1981 Irish hunger strike - done.
"Thatcher appointed him" → "Thatcher appointed Gowrie" - done.
hyphens to en dash after "broader political philosophy" - done.
Per MOS:ELLIPSIS, three dots are used rather than two - done.
Split sentence after "he could "electrify education"." - done.
"working in such posts, a claim that caused" → "working in such posts. The claim caused" - done.
Among whom did it cause agitation? - the sources refer to this vaguely, at most to "public disquiet / agitation / negativity" so I reworded in that direction.

Later career

Hyphen and spaces to comma after "Arts Council of England" - done.
The sentence with the direct quote about "the appointment of a Scott" should have a citation immediately following, per MOS:INTEGRITY - removed, and a similar but earlier quotation inserted into the Northern Ireland section - with direct citation.
There's something of a punctuation jumble after "The book needed cutting, like a movie" - fixed.
Dates for most of the events in the third paragraph would be appreciated - several added.

Writing

Early writings

Comma needed after Postcard from Don Giovanni - done.

Heath and later writings

"he received a heart transplant" → "Gowrie received a heart transplant" - done.
Replace hyphen and spaces with em dash after "contains references to his illness" - done.
Citation needed for "Collected Poems" - done.
Make this all one paragraph to avoid having a one-sentence para - done.

Personal life

Residences

"moved to the village of Llanfechain in what was formerly Montgomeryshire, the village being in the Welsh Marches" → "moved to the Welsh Marches village of Llanfechain, in what was formerly Montgomeryshire." - done.

Family

I don't believe it's necessary to have a bulletpoint for only one child - done (this was from an early version of the article, in a style common in peerage articles, but agreed, no need.
No comma needed after "1944 plot to assassinate Hitler" – current sentence construction makes it sound like he married Adelheid and Charlotte - done.

Friends

Extra space between sentence and citation for the sentence ending "Johnson's first marriage" - done.
For clarity, the part about finding out that he and Bacon had grown up in the same town should be placed before a separate sentence about Boris Johnson - done.
""The greatest journalist of my generation"." → ""[t]he greatest journalist of my generation"." - done.

Death

No comma needed after "died after a long illness" - done.

References

Good

General comments

Photos N/A
No stability concerns in the revision history
Earwig score looks good, all proper nouns and attributed direct quotes

Putting on hold now to allow nominator to address comments. Ping me with questions. — Ghost River 17:22, 10 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks GhostRiver for a thorough review. I have attempted to address each point. Most I have acted upon directly, while in 3-4 cases, I removed or reworked material to better the article as a whole. I hope this helps. SeoR (talk) 22:28, 10 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Made one last tweak myself on a second read-through, and now it looks good! Happy to pass! — Ghost River 22:38, 10 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for a most precise and efficient GA process, GhostRiver, and for the supporting closing edit. I will continue to work on this article - I have found 2-3 new sources. Sorry for late reply, suddenly remote for the last working week. SeoR (talk) 10:43, 15 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]