Talk:Great hammerhead/GA1
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Hi, I am reviewing this article for GA. It is a generally good article. I have a few comments regarding the prose which I am sure you can easily address. —Mattisse (Talk) 22:33, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
- Comments
- "prey items" - prey is enough, "items" is unnecessary - so I have removed "items"
- OK
- the cephalofoil functions to pin down stingrays, - what does "pin down" mean? I interpreted it to mean that it kept the population of stingrays down, but then in the article I see you mean literally pin down. I don't think this wording is good for the lead.
- Changed to "immobilize"; open to other suggestions
- "The great hammerhead was first described as Zygaena mokarran in 1837 by the German naturalist Eduard Rüppell, who changed it to Sphyrna mokarran later that year" - what is "it"
- "It" being the name; made it explicit
- "However, for a long time" - vague, not encyclopedic wording
- Changed to "over 200 years"
- "coined" - are scientific names coined?
- In the sense that the person who describes it picks the name, yes
- "The lectotype for this species is a male from the Red Sea." - what does this mean?
- A lectotype is a specimen chosen after a species has already been described, to serve as the type specimen for that species - I thought it'd be distracting to explain all this in the article
- "the ancestral condition" - unclear what this means
- The ancestral condition is the trait exhibited by the ancestors, in this case it means the earliest hammerheads had large cephalofoils - reworded to make this clearer
- "Its presence is uncertain off Gambia, Guinea, Mauritania, Sierra Leone," - what does this mean?
- It's what the IUCN report says; I'd interpret it as meaning that there are large hammerheads in those regions suspected to be great hammerheads, but identification is not 100% certain - I reworded the sentence
- "documented as moving closer to the poles in the summer" - is this both north & south poles?
- Yes - they follow warming water in the summer, which means northward in the northern hemisphere and southward in the southern hemisphere
Hope my notes are clear! —Mattisse (Talk) 22:33, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
- Addressed comments; not sure whether you wanted me to change things for some of them or not. -- Yzx (talk) 23:13, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
- You have done a good job. —Mattisse (Talk) 23:30, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): Clearly written b (MoS): Follows the main MoS elements
- a (prose): Clearly written b (MoS): Follows the main MoS elements
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): References are good b (citations to reliable sources): They are reliable c (OR): No OR
- a (references): References are good b (citations to reliable sources): They are reliable c (OR): No OR
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): Covers major areas b (focused): Remains focused on the topic
- a (major aspects): Covers major areas b (focused): Remains focused on the topic
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias: NPOV
- Fair representation without bias: NPOV
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- Congratulations! Good work.