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Talk:Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Lead
  • I'm a bit concerned the lead may be a bit long, per WP:LEAD. It strictly meets the criteria, but if there is anything you think could be trimmed from the lead, I think it might be a good idea to summarise the article as concisely as possible.
 Done - Please check if you think it's good.
I actually now think you've cut too much. I would suggest the summary of the plot in the lead, should at least cover the conclusion of the episode. I'm not sure how you could cover the end, without mentioning the middle, so it may be best to add most of what you've already cut. I suppose it's a hard thing to judge!! Peanut4 (talk) 19:44, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've readded it now. I don't think we have to worry about the lead being too long, especially if we compare it to The Last Temptation of Krust. --TheLeftorium 19:50, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
No worries. The guide does say 1-2 paragraphs anyway, but my first reaction was it looked too long. I think it's best to keep it as it is now. Peanut4 (talk) 19:52, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In the episode, Marge and Homer's sex life hits a rough patch," "hits a rough patch" seems informal to me.
 Done - Please check if you think my change is OK.
  • "but their loving reunion is soured when the house goes up in flames." "goes up in flames" again seems informal.
 Done - Removed that line.
  • "It was first broadcast on the Fox network" ... "After its initial airing on FOX," Fox or FOX? It should be consistent, and I would personally expect the former option.
 Done
Plot
  • "Bart and friends, after being exposed to several conspiracy theories, attempt to figure out why all of the adults disappear after they buy "Simpson and Son's Tonic"." What comes first; the conspiracy theories, or the disappearances? I think which comes first in the episode should come first in the "plot" section, otherwise it leaves you confused to the chronology. I was personally unsure what the conspiracy theories referred to.
 Done - Again, please check if you think it's good.
Production
  • "Dan Castellaneta provides the voices for both Homer and Grampa. Castellaneta therefore had to talk to himself when he recorded the voices of the two characters in their interactions for this episode.[2] It was hard for Castellaneta to do Grampa's voice because it is "wheezy and airy".[4]" Is this any different to other episodes when both Homer and Grampa are in? If so, this might be worth a bit more expansion.
No, I don't think it's any different in any other episodes so I changed "it was" to "it is".
  • "The inn was partly based on the famous Madonna Inn, and just like in the episode," famous is WP:PEACOCK. It doesn't say why it's famous. I've never heard of the inn.
 Done
  • "Bill Oakley himself had gone through the same scenario when he was younger." Do you know how old?
 Done

A little bit to do, but I'll put it on hold. I've also re-worded a couple of parts; can you just check to see if it still makes sense. Peanut4 (talk) 18:14, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing another of my articles, I appreciate it. =) I believe I have addressed all the points above. Please let me know if there's something else you want me to change. --TheLeftorium 19:26, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Again, meets all the GA criteria. Good luck with any future expansion or work with the article. Peanut4 (talk) 19:54, 21 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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