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Talk:Grammy Award for Best Hawaiian Music Album/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
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Reviewer: BelovedFreak 02:42, 30 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    Well written with just a few comments on minor issues
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    Sources look reliable, citations where needed. No original research.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    Sems to cover main points and keeps focused.
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
    Neutral and well-balanced.
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
    Can see no problems with edit warring or evidence of disputes.
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    All images are free and appropriately licnsed.
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
  • No problems flagged by copyvio/plagiarism tools, I'll do some spot checks.
  • No links to disambiguation pages
  • 1 external link not working at the moment [1]
Updated. --Another Believer (Talk) 19:40, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

This looks close to GA standard on first read-through. I'm going to go through each section and make comments.--BelovedFreak 19:17, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • "Awards were also presented to the engineers, mixers, and/or producers in addition to the performing artists" - you only really need either "also" or "in addition to" here, not both
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Tia Carrere doesn't need to be linked twice in such close proximity
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Recipients

  • "Nominees for the 2005 included..." - think there's a missing word here.
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "multi-instrumentalist Willie K. (born William Kahaiali'i) ..." - do we need to have both the short and long form of his name? Not a big deal at all, but it's already quite a long sentence with a lot of information, might make it a bit simpler to digest
If his full name is going to be included anywhere, I think it should be here. I am happy to remove his birth name if you feel it is unnecessary to include. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Scott Iwasaki of Deseret News ..." - the Deseret News?
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Consider linking Maui
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "described as "an easy-listening instrumental compilation seemingly tailored to mainland tastes."" - this could do with in-text attribution - who described it thus?
Done (I hope this is what you meant). Now reads "... described by journalist Nate Chinen as..." --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • You have Tia Carrere linked in paragraph 5 in this section, but her name is also mentioned (unlinked) in paragraph 4. I'd reverse those.
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Voting members of the Academy have also been criticized..." - it'd be helpful to know who has criticised them, ie. members of the press? Members of the music industry?
The source simply states "others"--I think it is meant to be a general/all-encompassing statement. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Category retirement

  • I presume there is an error in the 1st sentence (name of the category)
How embarrassing. Sorry, I copied parts of this from the Zydeco/Cajun article, which I also wrote. Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

References

  • Ref currently no. 24 (Allmusic link for Treasures of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar - this cite seems to be just to back up the chart position. If this is the case, why not just link to the "Charts & Awards" tab rather than having the note in the citation requesting the reader to click a different link (or did I miss something there)?
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 21:41, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Spot checks show no problems with copyright violation/plagiarism or verifiability. No big issues here, I'll put it on hold to allow you to address the above issues. BelovedFreak 21:10, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for taking the time to conduct a review and offer feedback/suggestions. The article is better thanks to your contributions. Much appreciated! --Another Believer (Talk) 21:44, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
You're welcome. It all looks good now, and was obviously a well-prepared article, so well done. Regarding Willie K's name, I just thought it was a bit of a long sentence already, no big deal. I'll leave it up to you. I think there is good reason to leave it as it is also, since we don't have an article on him yet. Otherwise, you've either fixed things or provided reasonable explanations, so I'm happy to list it as a GA.--BelovedFreak 23:04, 31 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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