Talk:Goodrich Castle/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 02:41, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'll list my comments section by section as I go through the article over the next day or so.

Lead

~~"Goodrich Castle was probably first built by Godric of Mappestone". So who second built it?~~

Changed - was trying to capture the castle being rebuilt half way through.Hchc2009 (talk) 08:12, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

~~"... and was then expanded significantly in the late 13th century into a concentric design combining luxurious living quarters ...". Nothing can be expanded into a design.~~

Changed.Hchc2009 (talk) 08:12, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

~~"... and is now considered the 'most splendid in the county, and one of the best examples of English military architecture'". By whom?~~

Name added in.Hchc2009 (talk) 08:12, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"The successful design at Goodrich would influence many other new constructions across England over the coming years". One of my pet hates; why "would influence" rather than the more straightforward "influenced"? And what does "new" bring to the party? As opposed to "old" constructions?

Changed.Hchc2009 (talk) 08:12, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Architecture

~~"Goodrich Castle stands on a high rocky sandstone outcrop overlooking the River Wye and commanded a crossing of the river". The tenses don't match; it stands but it commanded.~~

Changed.Hchc2009 (talk) 08:12, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"The design of the buildings ensured that the different classes of servant and nobility were able to live separately from one another ...". This is rather ambiguous; it could mean that the different classes of servant were able to live separately from one another, as were the different classes of nobility, or that servants and nobility were able to live separately from one another.

the latter - changed according.Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"The keep would originally have had an earth mounted up against the base of it ...". Seems to be a word missing after "an earth". Also, "against the base of it" seems rather contrived; why not just "its base"?

Is it supposed to be "mound" instead of "mounted"? Nev1 (talk) 16:19, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Have gone for "an earth mound built up against the base of it" Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"The barbican today is only half of its original height, and included its own gate, designed to trap intruders within the inner defences." This reads rather strangely because of the clash of tenses between "today is" and "included".

Changed. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Need to be consistent about presenting either imperial/metric or metric/imperial units. Right now we have, for example, "On the more vulnerable south and east sides of the castle, ditches 90 feet (27m) long and 28 feet (9m) deep" and "the single chambers on each floor measure only 5.5 by 4.5 metres (18 by 15 ft) internally".

Think I've got them all in metric now. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

15th and 16th centuries

"... the castle ditch was sometimes used to store confiscated cattle from local farmers." Does this mean cattle confiscated from local farmers or something else?

Yep - have clarified. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

English Civil War

~~"... on 9 March he attacked and burnt the stables in a sneak night attack". "Sneak" has rather a pejorative tone,~~

I was always taught that sneakiness in attack was a virtue! I've changed it to "surprise" however! :) Hchc2009 (talk) 08:12, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"In 1646, the Parliamentary Colonels John Birch and Kyrle marched south ...". Seems a little odd to give Birch's first name but not Kyrle's.

His first name was Robert, so I've now added that in. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"... Colonel Birch built an enormous mortar at a local forge called 'Roaring Meg'". This reads like the forge was called Roaring Meg, not the mortar.

Changed to clarify. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Birch's first move was to prevent further attacks from Lingen, and on 9 March he attacked and burned the stables in a surprise night attack, located outside the main castle itself". The attack was located outside the castle?

Have clarified - the stables were just within the weakest and smallest bailey wall, but if you looked at them today, you wouldn't think of them as being within the castle. See what you think of the revised wording! Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Despite the damage, Tyler was able to move back into his castle, which now contained a small Parliamentary garrison." I can't quite make sense of "which now contained", which seems to suggest a strange chronology. Presumably it was Tyler who installed that small Parliamntary garrison?

Changed to clarify. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

18th and 19th-century history

"Wordsworth first visited Goodrich Castle in 1793, and an encounter with a little girl he met while perusing the ruins led him to write the poem We are Seven in 1798." I don't think that "perusing" is quite the right word here; perusing is what you do to a book, not a ruined castle.

I've gone for "explore" instead. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"The Commissioners began a programme of repairs of the ruin into its current state." I'm not quite sure what "a programme of repairs into its current state" means.

I've tried to clarify - see what you think. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Today

"Substantial remains still exist and open to the public, managed by English Heritage." There seems to be a word or two missing here, after "and".

Changed. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Folklore

~~"The great keep is named the 'Macbeth tower'". It was called the "Great Keep" earlier in the article.~~ Changed to be consistent.Hchc2009 (talk) 08:12, 28 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

References

Formatting is a little inconsistent. Sometimes we've got "p. 96", other times "p.17". Also, there are quite a few duplicated citations, like #82 and #83 that should be combined.

Will take a stab at sorting this in a moment. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

What does "Ashbee, p.3 9." mean? Should that be "Ashbee, pp. 3, 9."?

Yep - have changed. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As a general point, it's better to separate out the notes from the citations, as you'll see has been done in this article, but obviously whether or not you choose to do that won't affect the outcome of this review.

Will have a look at this in a moment. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've separated them out, hopefully correctly! Hchc2009 (talk) 15:13, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Image licensing is a complete and total nightmare, but as you can't identify the author of Goodrich castle.PNG then the present {{PD-old}} claim can't be substantiated, no matter how unlikely it is that the author died less than 70 years ago. I think that you need to make a {{PD-UK}} claim, that because the author is unknown and the work was published more than 70 years ago, it's in the public domain in the UK.

I've done a bit of digging, and think I've now got the name of the engraver that did much of the work for the Saturday Magazine during the period. I've added it it in. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:25, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

That seems reasonable. Do we know when Mary Byfield died? Malleus Fatuorum 16:20, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm satisfied that this article now meets the GA criteria and so I'm going to list it as a GA now. Some little things like resolving the duplicated citations would need to be fixed up before taking this to FAC, but overall I think this is a nice piece of work. Malleus Fatuorum 16:24, 29 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.