Talk:Goo Hara/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Shushugah (talk · contribs) 10:23, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
Review
[edit]Hello, I am looking forward to working with you and reviewing this Article. I will provide thorough feedback in a few hours after carefully reading this. Regards, ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 10:23, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
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The article is neutrally written and avoids the WP:FANCRUFT that is endemic to K-pop/celebrity articles, so well done on those fronts! I fixed some grammar wording, but there are more things to clarify/fix. The lede does not adequately summarize Goo's life, particularly the legacy of her death and I think it's worth noting she was one of the first/few K-pop singers with a large following not just in South Korea but also Japan.
The section about the assault needs the most work imo. Some of the phrasing is ambiguous/unclear. It should also become an explicit subsection perhaps , because this is beyond the typical Personal life. Some phrasing is subtly wrong, for example it wasn't 'during' the incident that was diagnosed. It's very suggestive and the language should be more explicit.
I am available for more feedback/questions and think this article is on its way to GA status. No major topics are omitted nor does it lose focus on any specific details. ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 18:49, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
- Shushugah, thanks for the kind words, the current state of the article is a fruit of many editors working on it. Breaking down on your review, what's to be done were:
- Expand on lead to summarise Goo's life
- Rephrasing in the section about the assault
- Split the section about assault into an explicit subsection.
- What's done:
- Expanded the lead. Before, it was writtern only for events up to 2015. It now covers briefly 2016 to 2019, and a separate paragraph on the legacy. I have also placed in a couple of words about her being popular in Japan. As for noting that she was one of the first/few K-pop singers with large following in both South Korea and Japan...
- The section of the assault: I have reworded the text you have highlighted upon reviewing the present sources. I have reordered the trial details in chronological order upon further digging into the Korean sources (I guess my Korean language lessons were effective :D can't do much before taking the classes), and it should be less disjointed and has more clarity on the trail proceedings.
- To support the assertion that she was/is popular in Japan, i dug up sources to assert that she had gained popularity through Kara (the group had promotions in Japan prior disbandment) and that she was well-received by fans in her last mini-tour. However, I think my phrasing is awkward though.
- I have split out the assault section into its own section. It impacted not only her personal life, but career as well. I don't think subsection would be sufficient. However, the section title may need some downsizing. Any suggestions on that?
- Similarly I have split out some text in the her death section as Legacy section. – robertsky (talk) 05:35, 8 January 2022 (UTC)
- Reordered the Personal life section to lump the the case and death into personal section. – robertsky (talk) 19:08, 8 January 2022 (UTC)
- I boldly renamed some of the new sections for clarity fixed some spelling typos (be more careful next time) which were introduced. I fixed those and now have marked this article as GA! Congratulations! ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 21:32, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review and acceptance! Re:spelling typos, I have got to fix the bad habit of editing in the middle of the night, but yet it is one of the more productive timings of the day for me. – robertsky (talk) 11:47, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
- I boldly renamed some of the new sections for clarity fixed some spelling typos (be more careful next time) which were introduced. I fixed those and now have marked this article as GA! Congratulations! ~ 🦝 Shushugah (he/him • talk) 21:32, 9 January 2022 (UTC)