Talk:Go Vacation/GA1
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Reviewer: Namcokid47 (talk · contribs) 02:57, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
As a big fan of Namco/Bandai Namco, I'd be more than happy to take a look at this. Namcokid47 (talk) 02:57, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
I'm really sorry to tell you this, but this is quite a long way from reaching GA status. The article is filled with several errors that are highly noticeable, which are explained below:
- The lead section is way too short and does not properly summarize the key points of the article - it has one vague sentence about the gameplay followed up with a bunch of info about the Nintendo Switch port. It doesn't summarize the gameplay, its release, or its reception, which is needed for something like this.
- Comment: Looks like you've already done this for me. Thanks! TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 17:36, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- There's a lot of broken-up sentences throughout the article, which I don't understand having. They should be grouped together.
- Comment: Do you think you can go through a few examples? I'm not quite sure what you're talking about here. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 23:52, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- A good example would be the Gameplay section, which has a bunch of single sentences. Merge these with other paragraphs as long as they don't read awkwardly. Namcokid47 (talk) 02:23, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
- Comment: Oh ok, I assumed you meant that the individual sentences were written incorrectly, not that they needed to be merged with other paragraphs. I'll get to work on that, thanks! TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 15:53, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
- The "Resorts" section should be merged into the Gameplay section and not given its own.
- Comment: Done. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 16:53, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- "Bandai Namco Games" in the lead should be changed to "Namco Bandai Games" as they were known as this when the game was released.
- Comment: Done. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 16:53, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- Many sentences read awkwardly and would need a rewrite, such as "Go Vacation was chosen as the title of the game due to the developers wanting to convey a sense that the games resorts would be a place the player would "want to spend time in" <- this could definitely be shortened up.
- Comment: I have shortened that particular sentence, am looking for more examples in article to fix. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 17:01, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- Video Game Music Online doesn't appear reliable.
- Comment: WP:VG/S lists it as reliable. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 17:48, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- Comment: Actually its situational, because apparently its composer biography's aren't reliable, but we don't have any of those cited in this article. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 17:50, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- Music section could be merged with the Development.
- Comment: Done. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 16:53, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- I don't see the point in having the music tracks there, as they're both copyrighted and serve no purpose in the article.
- Comment: Disagree. The music tracks are integral to better understanding Kotowski's views on the music, and they are short enough to be considered fair use. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 18:06, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- Still don't see why they should be here. We have entire pages for the music from series like Mother or Katamari, and these don't use actual music. If those don't have them, I see no reason why this shouldn't follow that. Namcokid47 (talk) 02:23, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
- Comment: Not sure what your talking about here. The page on Katamari's music has a short sample of the "nah-nah" thing that plays on the title screen, and the article on the Mother series music has a sample of the "Love Theme". TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 15:56, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
- Similar to the first point, the Review section is overly long and full of broken-up sentences. You also need to go into detail about some of these sentences as they aren't explained properly; for instance, "The game received praise from some reviewers for its large open worlds, which can be navigated using a variety of vehicles." Why? Why did people praise this?
- Comment: Reworded that particular instance, but I can't find any others that aren't explained properly. Could you explain where those sentences are in more detail? TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 20:03, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- A number of sections have exaggerate uses of words too often, such as "Go Vacation took roughly two and a half years to develop. Go Vacation was first shown at Namco Bandai's booth at E3 2011..."
- Comment: What do you mean by "exaggerate uses of words"? TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 17:57, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
Namcokid47 (talk) 03:38, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- Comment: Currently working on addressing these concerns, will update when done. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 16:49, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- Fine by me. Once you've finished these, renominate it and ping me so I can have another look. Namcokid47 (talk) 17:10, 18 June 2019 (UTC)
- Comment: @Namcokid47: I have addressed the concerns I understood, and asked for clarifications on the ones I didn't, so I have renominated the article. TheAwesomeHwyh (talk) 23:55, 18 June 2019 (UTC)