Talk:Glyn Johns/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Binksternet (talk · contribs) 01:22, 7 July 2023 (UTC)

Starting review. I am usually very thorough, with an eye to possible Featured Article in the future. Binksternet (talk) 01:22, 7 July 2023 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

   • I see a mix of non-Oxford and Oxford commas. Choose one of these styles and impose it throughout the article, excepting cases of ambiguity. Direct quotes retain their published style. Binksternet (talk) 03:40, 7 July 2023 (UTC)

 Fixed (7/7/23) - They style is now consistent. In each instance in the main body of text where there are three or more items listed, we now have Oxford commas. GloryRoad66

1. • Problems with a mix of hyphens, en dashes and em dashes for sentence interruption, and a mix of spacings around them. Sentence breaks should either get the spaced en dash or the unspaced em dash. Choose one style and impose it throughout. Reference titles can keep the spaced en dash despite your prose style selection. Change wrongly used hyphens for the proper dash except in file names and URLs. In this case, direct quotes get adjusted to fit article style. See MOS:DASH. Some of the sentence breaks can be colons or semi-colons, or the sentence can be split into two.

 Fixed (7/7/23) The style for long dashes is now consistent. In the main body of text, all long dashes are now em dashes (with no space). The only exception is in the quotes, where I kept the dash format the same. GloryRoad66

1. • Please apply MOS:ELLIPSIS to the Townsend quote.

 Fixed (7/7/23) I fixed the ellipsis in the quote. I also removed the quotation marks, which to the best of my knowledge are not necessary in a block quote. GloryRoad66

1. b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   • Two instance of "years" in the same sentence of the second paragraph. Reword.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. • Glyn's deceased younger brother should not be described as "the late". Reword.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. • Too many instances of "also". See if any can be trimmed away without harm.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. • Change "for awhile" to either "awhile" by itself, or "for a while".

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. • "He attributes the record... as an influence" should use an appropriate verb, for instance "lists" or "cites". "Attributes" means something else.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. • Let's say "Though Jimmy Page was credited as producer" rather than "Though production credit was given to Jimmy Page". The "given" part implies a powerful being above Page, but it was likely Page who insisted.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. • The phrase " one-disc length" should be "one disc" by itself.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. • The autobiography sentence should be shifted down into the Legacy section. A brief review of the book would be appropriate.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a. (reference section):

   b. (citations to reliable sources):

   • The website 45cat.com fails WP:USERG. All references to 45cat must be removed.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. • This source mentions Glyn Johns once in passing, and is of little value here.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66

1. c. (OR):

   • The note saying "Though not formally credited as producer or engineer on this album" appears to be invented by a long-gone Wikipedian.[1] Only the latter part is supported by cite.

 Fixed (7/7/23) GloryRoad66 - I had earlier taken statement by the prior editor and relegated it to efn notes, but I just removed the efn notes (Faces' A Nod... album) GloryRoad66

1. d. (copyvio and plagiarism):

2. It is broad in its coverage.

   a. (major aspects):

   • I don't think there is enough emphasis in the lead section on the hugely influential albums that Johns helmed. Some of these were listed by Consequence magazine in 2016, and a bunch were listed by The Independent 2014 source. Telling the reader that Johns "worked with" famous artists isn't enough.

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. • The reader should be able to see and click on links for the articles the Beatles' rooftop concert and The Beatles: Get Back.

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. • Please wikilink "mono" as monaural.

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. • Wikilink the first instance of Jimmy Page.

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. • The reader should be told whether Glyn Johns is related to Glynis Johns.

Question: Binksternet, I went and added the statement that he is not related in the both the lead and Family sections.(7/8/23 UTC) However, I cannot find any reliable source that mentions that he is not. Nonetheless, he does not make any claim in his book that he is, nor have I found a source saying he is. So I'd imagine that he is not related (perhaps his parents named him with the movie star in mind--that sounds like a thing a British mum might have done in 1942). Still, the statement in the Family section is not cited (I just can't find a source at this time). Would it be better to just take the Glynis Johns statements back out? GloryRoad66

I think we can say that Glynis is "apparently unrelated" since nothing to the contrary has been published. Binksternet (talk) 02:10, 9 July 2023 (UTC)

Thanks. GloryRoad66 (talk) 03:02, 9 July 2023 (UTC)

1. • Let's elevate to article prose the note about Johns' opinion of Red Rose Speedway.

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. b. (focused):

   • In the section "Approach to recording", Johns is presented as far too much of an expert. No need for the note {{see also|Recording studio|Microphone|Tape recorder|Mixing console}}. Many other engineers have successful careers differing greatly from the methods of Johns. The article wanders off topic to become an instruction manual for miking drums in the Johns style. Far too much emphasis is given to this aspect. Big pruning needed.

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

   • Too much puffery in the lead section, specifically "pre-eminent", "countless", "in the history of rock music" and "renowned". Anyone with a biography on Wikipedia is famous for something.

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. • Puffery continues into the article body: "wide range of the musical industry's most successful artists" and "notable British acts". Olympic Studios does not need to be called out as "renowned". This biography is not the place for that, unless Glyn Johns is named as responsible. Helios consoles were excellent in their day, but are they really "still renowned" four decades later?

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. • The "bizarre phasing effects" should be explicitly named as originating from George Chkiantz, so that the reader doesn't assume Glyn Johns invented it. George Chkiantz should be elevated to article prose rather than stuffed away in a note.

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. • I don't see why the reader needs to see the Glyn Jons blockquote about Small Faces. This isn't the Small Faces article.

 Fixed (removed) 7/7/23 GloryRoad66

1. • The phrase "by accident he developed" implies a fault. How about simply "he developed"?

 Fixed (7/8/23) GloryRoad66

1. • In general, the Johns autobiography is cited too many times, and the opinion of Johns is delivered too many times.

2. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

3. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

   • The photo File:Ledzeppelin.jpg appears to have a copyright challenge at Wikimedia Commons.

 Fixed (removed) 7/7/23 To be on the safe side I remove the photo. But, if you want me to put it back in, let me know. GloryRoad66

1. b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):

2. Overall:

   Pass/fail:

   • Review on hold for suggested improvements. Discussion encouraged. Binksternet (talk) 04:07, 7 July 2023 (UTC)

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

I'll go in there and comb trough it and make the necessary changes. It make take some time to address each one of them. I'll probably ask some questions along the way. GloryRoad66 (talk) 04:33, 7 July 2023 (UTC)

Hey Binksternet, is it OK if I insert check marks and symbols (such as  Partly done, Fixed, Resolved, etc.) into the section above, to make it easier for me address each issue? But, then you could replace them with other symbols of need be? GloryRoad66 (talk) 05:14, 7 July 2023 (UTC)

Feel free to manage this review in any way you see fit. Binksternet (talk) 05:25, 7 July 2023 (UTC)

Thanks. GloryRoad66 (talk) 21:58, 7 July 2023 (UTC)

I've addressed most of the concerns above——I hope that have done them satisfactorily. I do have a question to ask about the issue with Glynis Johns (see above) that I'll need some advice about. Also, I need to address the concern about reducing the citations to Glyn Johns' autobiography——I'll be looking alternate sources (as best as they can be found——there may be some things about his childhood and early career that can only be found in his book). GloryRoad66 (talk) 06:11, 8 July 2023 (UTC)

The Glynis bit is solved, I think. The problem with too much reliance on Johns' autobiography is much reduced now that the drum miking section is gone, along with some other cuts. This is starting to look more like GA material. I'm gonna sleep on it and check it again tomorrow with a full mug of coffee. Binksternet (talk) 02:10, 9 July 2023 (UTC)

Thanks. Let me know if there is anything you need. GloryRoad66 (talk) 16:37, 9 July 2023 (UTC)

GA listed! Congratulations to GloryRoad66, and thanks to everyone who helped. Binksternet (talk) 20:20, 9 July 2023 (UTC)

Binksternet, thank you for taking your time to the review and setting the bar high for excellence. I'd also like to give special thanks to ActivelyDisinterested for taking so much active interest in the article and helping with cleanup and technical issues while we were doing the expansion. My big thanks to everyone!!! GloryRoad66 (talk) 20:32, 9 July 2023 (UTC)

Congratulations GloryRoad66. -- LCU ActivelyDisinterested ∆transmissions∆ °co-ords° 20:36, 9 July 2023 (UTC)