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Talk:Glass Joe/GA1

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk) 09:32, 15 May 2011 (UTC) ][reply]

I think it's worth noting that I have not played these games, so I am very much coming to this with fresh eyes.

Sorry for being so critical. While the referencing and research on this article are very good, the writing and formatting are not really up to scratch. I appreciate that this is the case, but it reads very much like it has been put together from passing references here and there, and that does not make a good read. I hope you're able to work on my suggestions and reorder the article/smooth out the prose, because this article does have potential. Everything you need for GA status is there, it just needs some moulding. J Milburn (talk) 10:12, 15 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The more critical the better. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 18:59, 15 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I was thinking that this had FAC potential. Ping me on my talk page when you're ready for me to take another read through. J Milburn (talk) 11:42, 16 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I think that I fixed all concerns in terms of flow. At the very least, I'm hoping that the remaining problems are few and easily fixed. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 00:22, 17 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I've requested that the lead image is cleaned up here. If you're able to do that stuff, then go ahead- if not, I've found the Graphic Lab to be very useful in the past. J Milburn (talk) 16:09, 16 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Second read through

[edit]

Ok, it's starting to look more ordered. I'm copyediting as I'm going.

  • There's more to be said in "Concept and creation". Who designed the original character for the arcade game? More should be said about his weakness, and his role as the intro to the game, and more should be said about the other French stereotypes- expressos, baguettes, croissants, etc.
    • I'll make the weaknesses and stereotypes stronger elements of the creation section. As for the arcade version, I initially was unable to find a proper reference, but I realized that there was a reference that did not mention Glass Joe, but said that Miyamoto made the designs for the arcade games. - New Age Retro Hippie (talk) (contributions) 22:48, 19 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oh, I see now that you've included some of that information in the next section. Perhaps mention there about how he's very weak, acts as an intro to the game, etc. I just feel his role in the game and the concept should be fully explained before we get onto his impact.
  • Am I right?
  • "Harris discussed him again in another article and wrote that he "crumples to the floor if a housefly lands on his chin".[22]" This sentence feels a little out of place.
  • "Glass Joe has received criticism for his weakness." I don't really see how you're categorising many of these as criticism. "Game Informer's James Cowan called the fight against Glass Joe a "total joke".[39]" is clearly being critical of the game, and so that is definitely worth mentioning, while the others just seem to be joining in the "hahah, look how rubbish this guy is" thing, which is what he's meant for.

The section on the cultural impact is good, and, yes, that's the important bit, but I think we still need a bit more concerning the in-game stuff and his design. This is getting there, no doubt about that, but if you're interested in taking this to FAC, I'm happy to stick around and keep poking. J Milburn (talk) 11:34, 18 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Definitely interested in FAC; I want to get the Four Award. However, as much as I would like to, I really cannot add much to his in-game stuff without venturing into guide content. In his games, outside of the cutscenes and a few things about his weakness, Glass Joe is just a boxer - there isn't much to be said about him. Basically, Glass Joe is almost an icon more than he is a character. He has no side-game or side-projects (aside from a couple very brief unsourceable appearances in a comic and cartoon). - New Age Retro Hippie (talk) (contributions) 20:10, 18 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I'm happy to promote now. I do feel that the article has greatly improved during the GAC. I think the writing is probably still a little choppy in places for FAC; I'd strongly reccomend finding a copyeditor to look at the article with fresh eyes before sending it to FAC. PresN (talk · contribs) may be a good person to ask- he's experienced at FAC, and video games are his area. Feel free to drop me a line if/when this is sent to FAC, and I'll give it another look. Thanks, and good luck! J Milburn (talk) 16:07, 20 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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