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Talk:Give Me Your Everything/GA1

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

[edit]
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Reviewer: Prosperosity (talk · contribs) 02:36, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Initial comments

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  • The title needs to be in quotes ("Give Me Your Everything") in its first instance in the lead.
 Done
  • The lead should not have references in it, since it is purely a summary of the information in the article. Some of the information in this section needs to be moved and replaced with more important things (e.g. that something is the fourth song on an album isn't probably the most important aspect of the song).
 Done
  • You don't mention the song being a single in the article's lead.
 Done
  • The cover artwork's source should be a link showing the page it was taken from; not just a general link to the site.
 Done
  • The article needs a general background section, giving context to the song's existence and at which point in Stan's career it was recorded.
  • The article needs more information on the song's composition; explaining the key, tempo, which instruments are used, etc.
Sorry,but I can't find any other information.
You're right, I can't find sheet music in either English or Japanese, but I don't feel entirely comfortable having a GA song article that doesn't discuss its musical structure at all! --Prosperosity (talk) 15:18, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is it possible to get more information for the article, especially information taken from interviews with Stan? It feels very brief, and could be expanded a lot more.
I think not; this is all the information I could get from the web. I can't find any other interview with Stan talking about "Give Me Your Everything".
  • "A 20-seconds sample" --> "A 20 second sample"
 Done
  • Is Caucasus a musical genre?
Well, since the source reveals it, I think yes.
The Popshock reviewer gives no further context to what they mean by 'Caucasus-inspired'. Since nowhere else on the internet talks about a musical genre by that name, they must mean traditional music in general from the Caucasus; not a specific genre (it would be like listing 'Spain' as a genre for her song "Trumpet Blows" because they describe it as "Spanish-flavoured"). --Prosperosity (talk) 15:18, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Ok then, I removed it in the Infobox and changed it to "Caucasus-flavoured" in composition.
  • Direct Lyrics is talking about A Girl like Me, not the song "A Girl Like Me".
 Done
  • Beyonce --> Beyoncé
 Done
  • The music video images need to be removed (or more critical analysis of the video needs to be added), since in their current condition they don't constitute fair use. Why do we need to see a clip of the dark forest or the masonic symbols to understand these concepts, when free use images of these symbols would suffice? The screencap is also massive, the file should be about half the size of that for fair use.
 Done
  • The same for the song sample, but this can be fixed with mentioning in the sample's description a subjective comment by one of the reviewers of the song.
 Done
  • Categories need to be alphabetised, plus a language category is needed (English language songs, or maybe Romanian English songs if there's a category like that).
 Done
In this case now, "English-language songs" isn't needed because you've got "English-language Romanian songs". --Prosperosity (talk) 15:18, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • There are no chart positions at all that can be added for the single? Not even a Billboard club play position or something? If there is something that can be added, the song needs a commercial reception section.
Well, Stan's songs are usually successful throughout Europe and especially Japan, but this time, I think this song was so unsuccessful that it didn't chart on any chart.
Hmmm...alright then. There are enough articles reviewing the music video to establish notability, but I'd prefer is notability were established stronger.
 Done

Additional source material

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http://www.jvcmusic.co.jp/-/Discography/A023878/VE3WA-17201.html -JPN release date was Aug 20, through Victor Entertainment -the song was unveiled during her Japanese tour -The official song description says that Stan said something like "I made the song with an oriental mood, weaving together an African and Asian feel with a Balkan sound"

 Done

http://www.barks.jp/news/?id=1000105894 (concert review by Takayuki Okamoto, writing for Barks) -In the Barks concert review for the Tokyo concert, they talk about a new song as being the final song of the concert (which we know is GMYE as it's the only untitled song they list) -They describe it as having a "violently dark melody".

 Done

http://ototoy.jp/news/75650?horiz JPN two date tour dates and locations (for context to her debuting the song): Tokyo: July 18, 2014, at Shibuya Womb Osaka: July 19, 2014, at Joule

 Done

https://www.google.co.nz/search?num=100&espv=2&q=site%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fitunes.apple.com+id913480881&oq=site%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fitunes.apple.com+id913480881&gs_l=serp.3...1742.1742.0.2151.1.1.0.0.0.0.233.233.2-1.1.0....0...1c.1.64.serp..1.0.0.t_-n1VM2tNM -There are quite a few additional territories where the single was released that weren't mentioned!

 Done

I'll have a look around for more material that can be added, but as it is, it feels far too brief and needs more information. --Prosperosity (talk) 15:18, 30 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Prose and formatting

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  • Is there another source for the information found here? As a rule, YouTube videos are terrible sources. If molaTV is a broadcaster, you could site the program with a Cite interview template.
 Done I added the template, as it is a broacaster. I found only a link on the interviewer's Google Plus account.
  • <br> --> <br/>
 Done
  • add <br /><small>(see [[#Release history|release history]])</small> to the Infobox
 Done
  • {{Duration|m=3|s=25}}
 Done
  • Lists in the Infobox such as the writers list should use {{Flat list}}
 Done
  • Many sentences use double-gaps instead of single-gaps between words and other sentences.
 Done
  • "On the other side," reword. In pt1 the single gets described as Caribbean, and after a but statement gets likened to A Girl like Me. Surely these aren't dichotomous statements, but additive?
 Done
  • "In an interview, Alexandra Stan explained that "Give Me Your Everything" is a present" --> "In an interview, Stan explained that "Give Me Your Everything" was written as a present".
 Done
  • Needs a line-break after the listen box.
 Done
  • Ideally, the first instance of a reference should have the info (i.e. <ref name="mansonic"/> should be there for the 2nd, 3rd and 4th uses, with the actual source the 1st instance), but this is minor.
 Done
  • "while production was handled by Cazan alone." This is said twice, one of these needs to be rephrased.
 Done
  • "recorded at Fonogram Studios and HaHaHa" I have no context for HaHaHa here, it needs to be explained as a recording studio.
 Done
  • "In an interview in Spain, Alexandra Stan" --> "In an interview in Spain, Stan" (after the first time a person is mentioned, they only need to be called by their surname.
 Done
  • "She went on saying" --> "She continued to explain that" (phrasal verbs are often too informal for encyclopedia articles)
 Done
  • ref name="interview" = The interviewer and creating body (work=molaTV) need to be referenced (if a better source can't be found)
 Done I replaced the YouTube link with this (http://www.molatv.cat/). Is it OK?
  • "Lyrically, the song talks about how the "dark" side transforms" Does it? The lyrics describe someone asking their partner to further commit to their relationship. Checking the source, I think they're still talking about the video containing further references to darkness.
 Done Yes, you're right! Changed it with content referenced by Digital Journal.
  • chours "consists only of the phrases" --> "consists solely of the phrase" or "consists solely of the lyric"
 Done
  • "didn't expect Stan to go down" --> reword, informal.
 Done
  • Additionally, they expressed that "the song and video speak for themselves." --> not needed, that's not a phrase reviewing the material.
 Done
  • Everythingexpress --> Everything Express
 Done
  • Charts In France --> Pure Charts
 Done
  • A Girl like Me (2006)
 Done
  • Make sure there are no line drops after 'title=' or other parts of the reference templates.
 Done
  • "under the production of Griffon & Swans" --> "with production studio Griffon & Swans"
 Done
  • cloak does't need to be linked.
 Done
  • can't --> cannot
 Done
  • "with fellow backup dancers" --> "with her fellow backup dancers"
 Done
  • "enters a room where all is pitch-black." --> "enters a pitch-black room."
 Done
  • "a limbo choreography" --> she's not doing the limbo at all in the video, there's no pole and she's not reclining.
 Done
  • "Cut scenes" --> "Scenes interspersed through the main video show..."
 Done
  • "Grown Woman" needs a year of release in brackets and to be de-linked, it doesn't have a page.
 Done
  • Pro TV expressed --> felt
 Done
  • "invokes demons, runs through the dark woods and wears a robe with masonic symbols." is a description not a review, it should be used as a source for those scenes in the above section.
 Done
  • "They also confessed that: "If in other visuals, the artist was accompanied by a lot of summarily-dressed dancers, now she dares more and combines religious meaning with a lot of cultural references."" --> "They felt that the video showed a more daring side of Stan, compared to her previous videos featuring "summerly-dressed dancers", due to the incorporation of religious and cultural references."
 Done
  • "has cited that Stan is "coming to us like a dark horse" in the music video." Remove, not about the song/video.
 Done
 Done
@Prosperosity: Nearly all done! Now, as you can see, I created a background section with the information from the barks, jvc and ototoy websites. Maybe, we can also do a "live performances" section, as I saw that barks is describing Stan's act in Tokyo pretty detailed. However,you must tell me what they say, because I don't understand what they're talking about, also not with google translate:) --Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:29, 31 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The background section should go first! And they didn't really mention anything else about the performance other than what I already translated. Also translations can't be in quotes, since that's not what she said! --Prosperosity (talk) 00:49, 4 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@Prosperosity:  Done it all! --Cartoon network freak (talk) 12:41, 4 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Final review

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

The article can still be improved a lot more when sheet music can be sourced and/or additional sources, as it is a little short, but as it stands, I think almost all of the relevant sources of information that we can source in 2015/6 have been used, and being short or not having a musical analysis aren't strict criteria for a GA pass or fail. Pass! --Prosperosity (talk) 02:28, 6 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Prosperosity, thank you so much! It's my first GA! Yours sincerly, Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:55, 6 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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