Talk:Give It All/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: DannyMusicEditor (talk · contribs) 22:35, 7 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ahh, Rise Against. One of the finest and most popular in punk rock today. I'd love to review this - especially as a review back for when Famous Hobo reviewed my article on Evanescence back in November (it passed, by the way, and I just had my second GA pass 20 minutes ago :D). "Give it All" was the first one that got me into these guys anyway, so I'd be glad to give this one a go. That being said, this is my first GAN in which I review, so I may take a bit. Looks good from a first glance! dannymusiceditor ^{what'd I do now?} 22:35, 7 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Wow, that's the second straight Rise Against GAN that got a reviewer in less than 20 minutes. It's cool to hear from you again Danny. I saw that Evanescence passed, nice job on that. As for being your first review, no worries, it's a simple article (mainly because there are really no references for the band's early songs). Famous Hobo (talk) 22:49, 7 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"It is a hardcore punk track..." If you'd like you can keep this, but I think "song" would be better here.

Done

" "being a punk rocker in today's world", " While us music Wikipedians know not to put punctuation inside quotes for song titles, actual quotes are different. The comma should go inside.

Honestly, I never quite understood what the exact ruling is on punctuation inside or outside quotes when editing. Some editors have told me to leave it inside, while others have told me to leave it outside. Regardless, I put the comma inside the quote

"one of the band's most widely recognized song's..." Remove the second apostrophe.

Done

Suggestion. How are you on changing "US Alternative Songs chart" to "Billboard Alternative Songs chart?" If you don't wish to do so, then you don't have to do this one.

Yeah, I think that looks better

"The accompanying music video has the band perform the" ... "in a crowded subway car, while other people travel throughout the city of Chicago vandalizing and defacing billboards and posters, with the intention of raising social and political awareness." See the problem? the "..." is there just in case. A word may be missing; I do that a lot, don't worry.

Whoops. Originally it said "the band perform the song in a crowded subway car," but since I felt that the word song had already been used enough times throughout the article, I removed "the song," or at least I thought I did.

Background and composition

"the American rock band Rise Against signed a recording contract with Geffen Records in 2004." Cut "the American rock band." If someone's never heard of Rise Against (or just this song), they'd read the lead first, rather than skip to the background & composition. This would be extraneous for already-Rise Against-fans who would go to that section for research. The first part of this excerpt is already stated in the lead. And so is Rise Against's band link. So remove that link too.

Done

"The first Rise Against song released following the signing to Geffen Records was "Give It All", which was featured on the compilation album Rock Against Bush, Vol. 1 (2004)." Another optional change: "The first song the band released following their signing to Geffen was "Give It All"...." If you decide to keep the former version, just change "the" to "their" and cut "Records."

I agree with the change, definitely reads better

"The group liked the song, and decided to record a slightly altered version for their third studio album Siren Song of the Counter Culture (2004)." Who's "the group" in this sentence?

The group is Rise Against. I felt that "the band" had already been used quite a few times, so I tried to change things up, but I can see how that would be confusing for some readers.

""Give It All" is a short hardcore punk track, with a fast pace and a slow bridge;" Why a semicolon? I think that was supposed to be a period.

Done

Same thing about punctuation in the quotes that I said in the lead.

Done

"reminded him of a harder version of some songs by The Offspring, and that is was controlled enough to appeal to casual rock fans." ....."And that is was"? I think just "was."

Minor typo, it's supposed to be "it" not "is"

Biggest problem: The sound quality for this song is too good. All the GAs I've seen that have samples have a sound quality between 60-70 kbps. It's not air to use one with 110. Were you the uploader? If you are, try reuploading it with a lower quality. If you weren't, just remove it and I'll still pass the article. But I'd still prefer you figured it out at some point.

You're actually the first editor to point that out. Yes, I did upload the file. Since I don't have access to audio programs like Audacity, I kind of had to brute-force my way to get this file (Youtube music video to MP3, MP3 to Ogg, and then upload). Fortunately, I just noticed that the site I use for converting MP3 to Ogg allows me to change the kbps, so I changed it to 64 kbps.

Reception and legacy

"Despite this, it has become one of the most widely recognized song's of the band's career..." Remove the first apostrophe.

Done

These people aren't genre experts - they use hard rock and heavy metal as extremely wide umbrella terms. Thus, you should delink them from the title of that list.

Done

Music video

We get it at this point. So we can change Rise Against to "the band" in the first sentence of the second paragraph. Otherwise, I have no complaints.

Done

Overall

The references are all great and well-formed. The prose corrections are all listed here. No style violations that I see.
Personnel and credits: Add a period after Neil Hennessy.

Done

Article looks awesome! I'll pass it after these corrections are made. Relatively easy, I'd say. dannymusiceditor ^{what'd I do now?} 00:13, 8 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I've addressed all your comments. I must say, nice job for your first review. Just wanted to give a friendly reminder to follow all the steps if you decide to pass the article. Famous Hobo (talk) 03:00, 8 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I definitely think this is a ✓ Pass. I particularly enjoyed learning the part of how the film crew had to break into the zoo to film the video - rebellious, like most punk rockers! Great article! dannymusiceditor ^{what'd I do now?} 14:33, 8 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]