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In the Early junior career section: The it says "...which went to Quebec Major Junior Hockey League (QMJHL) rookie of the year Sidney Crosby of the Rimouski Oceanic. He also joined Crosby on the CHL All-Rookie Team." is also the correct wording? He lost the award to Crosby so wouldn't just saying "He joined Crosby on the CHL All-Rookie Team" be more accurate?
In the NHL debut and Memorial Cup section: "He made his NHL debut against the Washington Capitals in the Blue Jackets' season opener two games later, notching an assist on a goal by Dan Fritsche in a 3–1 loss." It appears that something is missing here. Is there a second game that needs to be mention where he recorded his first career point? If not what was two days later?
There is a two sentence paragraph about being sent back to juniors. It seems rather small especially when the next paragraph is also about his return to junior. Could these be joined?
Memorial Cup in the heading - for me it makes it sound that they won. Maybe that's just me. Would it be more appropriate to say Memorial Cup tournament?
In the Columbus Blue Jackets section: In the first instance of "fourth-line" it may be beatifically to pipe in a link to line (ice hockey) where it has a breakdown of the different numbered lines. Since non ice hockey readers may not understand what fourth-line means.
In the Edmonton Oilers section: The part that talks about his high-ankle sprain tells the outcome of the injury before describing how he got the injury "he suffered a high-ankle sprain during a game against the Dallas Stars on April 2, 2010, sidelining him for the remaining week of the campaign. During a collision with opposing forward Brian Sutherby, his skate got jammed underneath goaltender Kari Lehtonen's pad." It sounds a little awkward to me. What about something like "he suffered a high-ankle sprain during a game against the Dallas Stars on April 2, 2010, following a collision with opposing forward Brian Sutherby, his skate got jammed underneath goaltender Kari Lehtonen's pad. The injury sidelined him him for the remaining week of the campaign."?
In the International play section: "Due to a leg injury, the possibility of Brulé being loaned for the tournament from the Blue Jackets was eliminated. He was invited to the team's summer camp again in 2006, but declined, choosing to focus instead on making the roster for his NHL team, the Columbus Blue Jackets." since the Blue Jackets are already mentioned it seems a little redundant to mention the name in full at the end. What about something like "...choosing to focus instead on making the NHL roster for Columbus."?
Ref# 14 - "Vancouver's Kane goes fourth overall at NHL draft"
Ref# 36 -"Giants beat Blazers, now fuelled for Rockets showdown" (Does the Vancouver Sun print the same articles that are on their web site? If so for this ref one you have the author, date, source you could probably change to an off-line reference - though the addition of the page number would be nice.)
Ref# 52 - "Ex-Giants star Gilbert Brule to sit out Oilers game against Canucks" (same as ref #36)
There are two others from TSN
Ref# 59 - "Sutter focuses on players at junior camp"
All images contain proper licensing. One image from flickr which has been verified, and one image uploaded by the user.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
Just a couple of minor things to take care of, if you disagree with anything I've listed feel free to post your response here I'll keep it on my watch list. Great work as usual.
Thanks again for the review! I know that it can be time-consuming, so it's much appreciated. I believe I've addressed all the above issues, but let me know if there's anything else I can do. Cheers. Orlandkurtenbach (talk) 02:33, 22 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Looks like all of my concerns have been addressed. I've gone ahead and passed this. Great work. Cheers!