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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 17:01, 17 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • It's just Bury F.C., I don't think anyone would write it Bury Football Club.
Agreed. Changed to Bury F.C.
  • "placed in administration" link administration here.
Linked.
  • I would include in the lead when and against whom the first match there was played.
Done. Good idea – I should have thought of that.
  • "They also acquired the trading name, history ..." how does one "acquire... history"?
I thought this was odd when I first read it in the agreements and then in the sources, but I'm told it's all to do with copyrights and what have you, although history seems a vague term. I'll take it out as it will cause confusion.
  • I think the lead also should cover record attendance, and maybe even "current" capacity.
Agreed. I meant to do that and must have forgotten. The current capacity depends on whether we still have to segregate or not.
  • Although, were is the current capacity of 12,000 referenced?
There are actually 12,500 seats but we had to widen segregation by taking out 660 and the capacity in 2019 was 11,840.
  • Where are pitch dimensions referenced? (Ah, I found them in ref [2])
Should I include the pitch dimensions in the narrative, do you think?
  • "the 1885–86 season, the " which "season"? expand out, so we know it's the English football season.
Done. More clarity.
  • Link "friendly".
Done. It's a redirect but should be okay.
  • "the oldest in continuous use (excluding wartime) is Deepdale, home of Preston North End, which opened for football on 5 October 1878" not seeing a mention of a stadium at Deepdale at that time, just " a field".
I think the problem is using the word stadium, so I've changed it to venue. I believe Gigg itself was just an open field in 1885. I'm always amused by the arguments about oldest ground. What must it be like when Preston play Sheffield United?
  • "on Saturday, 3 October 1891. Bury won" don't need day of the week, and I would merge with something like ", with the home side winning..."
Done. Too short a sentence.
  • "clubs elected to" link "elected" here as it's a curious concept.
I changed it to "joined the league" to avoid confusion. I don't think we have an article about election in football, although there is Re-election (Football League).
  • Can I just check that footballsite.co.uk is considered to be an RS?
I'm dubious about it. As it happens, Goldstein covers the whole of that sentence so I've removed the site. The text needed a slight tweak too.
  • "Second Division – they won the division championship and gained promotion to the First Division.[1] ... " Division/division/Division... repetitive.
Done. Two's company, three's a crowd.
  • "the 35,000 crowd that day remains" I don't think you need to repeat 35,000 as you've said that was the capacity and you said it was sold out...
Agreed. I should have seen that.
  • Link "extra time".
Done.
  • Apparently American readers have difficulty with the concept of "tie" meaning "a match between two teams (particularly in a cup competition)" so you should link/footnote the use of that....
Will add a footnote. Back soon. Done. Please check wording and links used.
  • "against Blackpool on 1 January 1937. Blackpool won 3–2.[2] The" again, merge the tiny sentence.
Done.
  • "Second Division (tier two)" you've mentioned specific divisions before but no "tier". And I would link that (tier) to English football league system because even "tier" isn't clear to non-experts.
Done.
Done. Have also linked this in the lead.
  • "at a Freight Rover Trophy tie " we normally avoid sponsorship titles for these Mickey Mouse cups...
Agreed. We reached the semi-final of that thing in our last season, then got hammered at home by Portsmouth.
It is. That's a great find. Well done.
  • "as required by the Taylor Report.[2]" this is probably mystifying to non-expert readers, so suggest either a sentence of explanation as to what the Taylor Report did to English football or a footnote.
I took this out of the floodlighting section and explained it in the ground structure section instead.
That's the geographical name, though. It's the authority, Bury Metropolitan Borough Council, which has made the advance.
  • " Planet-U Energy Stadium after Bury concluded a five-year sponsorship deal with the Leeds-based renewable energy supplier, Planet-U Energy" can you avoid the repeat of "Planet-U Energy" by just deleting it?
Done.
  • "100 per cent renewable energy..." any news on how that went?
Tricky one, this. It never actually began because the old board were still finalising the deal when the balloon went up and we were expelled. I know the intention was to start the sponsorship from August 2019. The problem here is that I can't find a source which confirms that the whole deal fell through and "what I know" would be OR if I add it. What do you think?
  • "the 2018–19 season" link, which division?
added links to the club season and the league
  • "in administration.[19] In May 2021, the " merge, "... and the following May..."
Done, That's better.
  • "On DAY MONTH" starts four consecutive sentences which is repetitive.
That was a bit heavy. I've moved some of the dates around so could you please check.
  • "the club's name and memorabilia, with plans" no "history" here...!
Ah, no. Might have been edited out earlier.
  • "ownership of Steve Dale" any context for who this non-notable person is/does?
This unhappy gentleman is the owner of the 1885 club which remains in administration. I've added a bit to say who he is.
  • Would be nice to see a map of the stadium, even a basic one, which labels the stands.
I'll see if I can find one. It would be good.
  • Might even be nice to find a local OS map at OpenMaps to show its context within Bury.
Again, I'll see what I can find.
  • "club desperately needed £300,000" "desperately" is POV and the £300k could be inflated as it was a few years back.
Agreed. Removed the word.
  • "Gigg Lane's capacity was 11,840 in May 2019" says 12,500 in the lead.
Changed that to 11,840 throughout (see above). We have that many seats but have had to cover 660 of them.
  • "club's late commercial" late is euphemistic.
Agreed. Removed.
  • Brighton and Hove -> Brighton & Hove...
Ha! I remember a Brighton fan telling me once upon a time that they always use their ampersand.
  • Ref 36 has spaced hyphen, should be en-dash.
That's #35 now. I ran the endash script earlier and it looks as if that caught it, but please check in case I'm missing it.

Them's my opening comments. On hold for now. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 17:36, 17 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, TRM. Good to be in touch with you again and I hope you're keeping okay. I wanted a thorough review from another pair of eyes and the level of detail here is great, so thank you very much for the time and trouble you've taken. Bury F.C. is already a GA and I would love to get Gigg up there too before we reopen in August, which we will, although there's a lot still to be done. Anyway, I'll make a start and will add comments to each of the points above, if that's okay, as I work through them. Thanks again and all the very best. No Great Shaker (talk) 22:06, 17 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
No Great Shaker it's a pleasure to work with you. Take your time, I have no deadline. Let's make this a great GA. (P.S. you probably already know I got Portman Road to FA a few years back, it's looked aged, but it's not a bad template for these kinds of article...) The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 22:07, 17 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you, TRM. I've made a start with comments above. I'll look at Portman Road and thanks for the tip. Should be back tomorrow. All the best. No Great Shaker (talk) 22:52, 17 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Hello again, TRM. I think I've covered everything so far except that I'll try and find the OS map and stadium plan. I found Portman Road useful for some of the points and I'll study it some more as I think it'll help me enhance things. Could you please take another look when you have time? No rush. Good luck at Oxford tomorrow. No Great Shaker (talk) 17:35, 18 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
I'll take another look in due course. And thanks for your best wishes for tomorrow, my last away day of the campaign, so fingers crossed for a good result! Cheers. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:15, 18 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Well it was a pretty decent game and I suppose 1-1 was a fair reflection, but we battered 'em in the second half, almost last kick (header) of the match for the equaliser...! Right, so I'm happy to promote this to GA, I would certainly advise the map and diagram if you're planning on taking it further (e.g. FAC). Good work. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 17:02, 24 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, TRM, this is great news. Confidence is high that Gigg will stage matches again next season though I have to be quiet about the details. If and when a day comes when we can again welcome Ipswich Town, I will certainly stand up and applaud the Tractor Boys onto the field (just hoping you aren't like your team in the seventies because you'd hammer us!). Anyway, thank you again for a thorough review which has helped enormously to improve the article. Which is what GA is all about, of course. All the best, mate, and take good care. No Great Shaker (talk) 22:19, 24 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

No worries mate. Feel free to ping me if you have any other articles for which you're in need of a review. Alway happy to help if I can. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 22:24, 24 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]