Talk:German destroyer Z38/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Parsecboy (talk · contribs) 18:32, 5 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'll return the favor. Parsecboy (talk) 18:32, 5 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The service history section is a bit "wall of text"-y. Can you break up those long paragraphs? I'd recommend splitting after the Battle of North Cape, merging that with the first few lines in the next para (splitting that after Z38 withdraws after taking hits), then split again when Z38 escorted Schlesien to Swinemünde (and merge that with the first two lines of the last paragraph).
Done
There are several duplicate links that need to be removed
Done
"1939; laid down by" - you need a "was" here and for "launched" as well
Done
"retrieval boat, for the" - no comma there
Done
What kind of ship is Lützow? Ditto for Deutschland, Prinz Eugen, etc.
Done
Per MOS:SURNAME, "Admiral Bey" should drop the rank
Done
The general consensus is to treat Scharnhorst as a battleship on Wikipedia
Done
"German destroyers Z29..." "German" is redundant here

Done

My understanding is that Scharnhorst didn't locate the convoy itself, just Burnett's cruisers, and that Bey had detached the destroyers to search for the convoy while he tried to work his way around the cruisers. Bey only ordered the destroyers back to port after he decided to give up the attack.
Done This is correct, I've corrected it. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 19:45, 5 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
- I'd add "by the British fleet, including the battleship Duke of York" to that line, as right now it sounds like Scharnhorst was sunk just by the cruisers, but it was DoY that did the heavy lifting. Parsecboy (talk) 12:23, 7 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  - @Parsecboy: Done. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:26, 7 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"During the combat, called the Battle of North Cape..." - I'd shorten that to "During the ensuing Battle of North Cape..."
Done
"...evacuation of the Mountain Corps Norway unit, from Murmansk to Norway." - this gives the impression that the Corps was in Murmansk, which is not correct
Done
"On 22 January 1945 Z31, Z34 and Z38" - italics for ship names
Done
Watch WP:ENGVAR - I see an "armor" though the article appears to be written in BrEng. Parsecboy (talk) 19:13, 5 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Done
@Parsecboy: I believe I have done all you have suggested. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 19:45, 5 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Parsecboy: If you're busy that totally fine; just wanted to make sure you didn't miss my ping. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 03:30, 7 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Nope, I saw it - just have been very busy the last couple of days, between another couple of reviews, trying to hammer out Greek battleship Salamis with Ed, and some major real life stuff. I'll look at it shortly. Parsecboy (talk) 11:53, 7 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]
No problem at all. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:26, 7 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]