Talk:George Sisler/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Ezlev (talk · contribs) 00:51, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
I'll review this article! I've created two subsections below: one for {{GAProgress}} as an overview of the review's status and one for specific points to be raised and discussed. I'm looking forward to collaborating with you, Sanfranciscogiants17!
- After an initial review, this is looking very good. I'll place it on hold to allow time for changes to be made! See below. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 01:24, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
- Nicely done, Sanfranciscogiants17! I'm satisfied. Congrats on the GA! ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 20:41, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
Progress
[edit]Good Article review progress box
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Notes
[edit]Well written
[edit]Prose: Overall very good.
- The first sentence of the section .400 hitter and MVP (1920–1922) reads "In 1920, baseballs began to be manufactured with a tighter-wound yarn, and emphasis These changes ushered in the live-ball era, in which many batters began to hit more home runs." Emphasis on what?
- Done
- Next paragraph. "After tying the old record on September 27, Sisler set the new one on a day dedicated to him, in which he was presented with a $1,000 check, a $1,500 silver service, and flowers before the game at Sportsman's Park." Was the day dedicated to him before he set the new record, or retroactively dedicated to him because of the new record?
- It was kind of a coincidence that that day was dedicated to him, so I clarified.
Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 18:38, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
- Done
- Same paragraph. "Sisler also finished second in the AL in eight offensive categories, including home runs (19, behind Ruth's 54), RBI (122, behind 137), and stolen bases (42, behind Sam Rice's 63)." Who had 137 RBI?
- Done
- Same paragraph. "Despite finishing second to Ruth in home runs, Sisler did not try for them, as he was more concerned with keeping a high batting average." I know what this is meant to say but the wording could be clarified.
- Done
- First paragraph of later life section. "Replacing Honus Wagner in 1938 as the commissioner of the National Baseball Congress, Sisler held the role for many years." How long?
- Unfortunately, the sources aren't clear on this.
- Done
- Unfortunately, the sources aren't clear on this.
- In the personal life section, first paragraph, the final two sentences seem like they might fit better in the later life section?
MOS:
- Lede looks good, but do you think it might be good to add a bit more detail about his life after retiring as a player?
- Considering the way its written, I think it's best left as-is. It's only a brief summary, and Sisler's playing career should be its emphasis. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 18:57, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
- I wonder if the "Legacy" section should go after "Later life" and "Personal life"?
- I think it's best where it is. Much of the honors and accolades dealt with in it refer to his playing career, which makes putting it after that section seem more appropriate. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 18:58, 3 January 2022 (UTC)
- Other required MOS guidelines appear to be met
Verifiable
[edit]Reference style:
- A-OK
Reliable sources:
- They appear to be, yes!
No original research:
- Everything looks to be sourced
Free of copyvio:
- Earwig looks good (mostly flags quotes)
Broad
[edit]Addresses main aspects:
- Definitely looks like it!
Stays focused:
- It does!
Neutral
[edit]I tweaked a little bit of wording, but now I believe the article is neutral and reflects the sourcing.
Stable
[edit]No substantial changes since September improvements by nominator
Illustrated
[edit]By a number of public domain images!