Talk:George S. Armstrong/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:24, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I will be reviewing this. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 04:24, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Can "Canadian" be linked to "Canada"?
I think the lead should be shortened at least by a para; it seems too large for the size of the article. Try to keep only the most important points. You may see WP:MOSLEAD.
After dabbling into politics I think "entering politics" would sound more proper

done

You use "he would" in most places. I am not very sure, but would it not be better to use simple past?

done

Can we link pharmaceutical, alderman, plebiscite ?
the 1910 municipal election Any link possible?
Uncontested as only "the" only?

Done

for the coming year of 1911 You need not say 1911, it is understood.

edited

During the term, he several issues were brought up to council's attention Is there some error here or is something missing?

Early life and career

After attending schooling I think it could simply be "after schooling".
"Teacher" does not need a link

done (not sure why it was linked)

his brother, Gordon Was he elder or younger to Gordon?

Early political career

second in a field of twelve candidates We typically keep numbers more than ten in digits
He would later decide on running, running can we avoid repeating "running"?
Edmonton is a duplink

First mayoral term, 1911

George V's coronation Should "c" of coronation be in caps?
"Amalgamate" should be linked in the earlier section, at first mention, not here
Gas need not be linked. Rather link gas plant
Duplink: North Saskatchewan River

the last two are done

Second term in office, 1912

for that particular election Mention the election name when you begin the section
Why is Sunday linked and why is "s" in caps?

Not sure why it was linked but if I understand correctly it should be in caps

Sorry, I was wrong about the "S". Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 03:53, 7 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

He returned to the operations of his drug store after leaving office. Source?

Post mayoral career

The accusations should be mentioned in the lead.

Personal life

Greenock, Bruce, Ontario, Canada could be shortened

Done - I still kept the mention of Bruce County in it as the township was later amalgamated into one that's in Bruce County presently

the hospital board What is it?

Changed to "a hospital board" - sorry, I can't seem to find specifics

Presbyterian Church link?

That should be all. Good luck! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 05:56, 23 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Connormah: You there? If there is no response within a week of the start of the review I will have to fail this nomination. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 10:07, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Sainsf: - sorry, very busy at the moment and had totally forgotten that this was up. Will take a look hopefully in the next week. Thanks! Connormah (talk) 19:49, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Connormah: There has been no response from your side since 6th this month. If you do not respond within 5 days from now, I will be forced to fail this nomination. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 13:00, 10 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Sainsf: - got a few more done yesterday and will hopefully finish off sometime this week. Stay tuned. Connormah (talk) 07:20, 12 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Most things are now done. Connormah (talk) 01:33, 16 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Connormah: Thanks for working on the appropriate points. May I know if we can add a line on the accusations to the lead? I think it is an important point in his biography, what is your idea? The first and the second paras of the lead could be merged, the former looks too short. Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 05:46, 16 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'm open to ideas about the lead. If you want to have a go at it then go ahead. I've tinkered but can't really get anything that satisfies me. Connormah (talk) 18:21, 17 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Not an issue really, just wished to hear what you would say. This article looks tasty for promotion. Awesome job! Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 03:32, 18 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]