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GA Review

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Reviewer: Seattle (talk · contribs) 22:00, 18 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this article soon. Seattle (talk) 22:00, 18 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

  • I'm concerned about the copyright status of File:George Pickingill.jpg: namely, how can you assert life and 100 years of the author if you don't know who authored the photograph? It's plausible that the author died in the mid-20th century, which would still put this work in copyright. Further, the photo doesn't seem like it was first published in the US prior to 1923, which doesn't make it PD in the US. Its copyright status in the United Kingdom seems to fit point four, which makes it copyrighted until the end of 2039; when combined, the file should not be at the Commons.
  • most notably an old woman named Lillian Garner why is she, out of everyone else, "most notable"? "Most notable" seems like editorializing. Can you be specific with her contributions?
    • Fair point. I don't think that Maple ever actually named his sources, although both Hutton and Howard have claimed that they met with her subsequently, and their work reveals that Garner was one of those whom Maple talked to. However, given that this doesn't really make her "most notable", I have decided to remove this entire sentence from the lede. Midnightblueowl (talk) 22:45, 19 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I will start the "Biography" review soon. Seattle (talk) 23:07, 18 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Life and family

  • The year of Pickingill's birth is however in question, as he would make differing claims regarding this in different censuses would make → made; I don't think "regarding this" is necessary here, it should be implied from context
  • In the quotebox, quotes within the quote should be single-quoted (') instead of double.
  • Taylor was arrested and brought to trial in Rochdale on 24 August, in October pleading guilty this is awkwardly constructed; can you reword?
  • Can you mention if Sarah Ann Bateman had a listed profession in the Censuses, or what she was mentioned as?

Magical activities

  • ignored scholarly conventions in relating his information what does this mean? What are "scholarly conventions"?
    • As Hutton (p. 296) puts it, "[Maple's] colleagues in the Folk-Lore Society rued his abandonment of scholarly standards". I believe that what they are referring to was his lack of peer review, the general non-academic tome of the book's prose, its absence of detail, etc. However, I am unsure how this could be incorporated into the article itself without it being OR on my behalf. Midnightblueowl (talk) 23:06, 19 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • He was also recorded as coercing local people to obtain him I'm not sure "him" is needed here
  • the sensationalist potboiler Witness to Witchcraft (1970). "sensationalist potboiler" seems like OR without a citation; can you find a source that described it as such?

Death

  • whilst his house fell into dilapidation before falling down. The same day? Can you reword this; "whilst" implies, to me, a relation to the day of his funeral.

Bill Liddell's claims

  • for the reason that it was deemed less dominated by the tradition for the reason that → because; can you tie this to Lugh more? I'm struggling to see the connection.
  • His partner, Sylvia Tatham, had been one of those present when Alex Sanders "had been one of those present" → was present; I can't understand / see why Liddel's partner is relevant to this article.
    • Admittedly, it is not directly relevant, but it is included in Hutton's book, so thus does have some contextual relevance to the wider subject. Further, many (possibly even most) of those reading this section will have an interest in Wicca and its history, and thus find this information to be a useful addition. Midnightblueowl (talk) 22:55, 20 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first is a hereditary tradition of Pagan witchcraft, the second a similar but separate tradition which Pickingill had greatly influenced in the nineteenth century, and third his experiences as an individual born into a witchcraft family, who had subsequently been initiated into both of these traditions and a separate "cunning lodge" prior to his emigration to New Zealand. Can you clarify if the first two are literal or abstract sources? Is there a name for the second source?
    • I've rewritten this in a manner that I hope is a little clearer: "The first is a hereditary tradition of Pagan witchcraft, while the second was a similar yet separate tradition of Pagan witchcraft which, Liddell alleged, had been greatly influenced by Pickingill in the nineteenth century. The third source cited by Liddell was his own experiences gained from being born into a witchcraft family and subsequently being initiated into both of the aforementioned traditions and a separate "cunning lodge"." Midnightblueowl (talk) 22:55, 20 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
      • Can you clarify if these are literal sources (ie people) or just sources of inspiration for his own work? Can you change "alleged" to "stated"?Seattle (talk) 02:57, 21 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
        • Liddell certainly claims that they are literal sources. I have altered the prose to the following: "Liddell explained this by stating that the information contained in his articles had been passed on to him by three separate sources, all of which had decided to use him as a mouthpiece for their own claims. The first were the members of a hereditary tradition of Pagan witchcraft, while the second were the practitioners of a similar yet separate tradition of Pagan witchcraft which, Liddell alleged, had been greatly influenced by Pickingill in the nineteenth century. The third source cited by Liddell was his own experiences gained from being born into a witchcraft family and subsequently being initiated into both of the aforementioned traditions and a separate "cunning lodge"." Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:09, 21 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • He claimed that most of the information that he was publishing came from Elders Mr. and Mrs. Elder? Why the caps? Can you link somewhere if it's a proper noun?

Liddell's account

Pagan response

Academic response

  • Murrell, James Tuckett, John Wrightson, or William Brewer. are these people notable enough to have articles sometime in the future?

I'm happy to pass this article after the above comments are addressed. Seattle (talk) 20:09, 22 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for taking the time to review this article, Seattle. I hope that you found it to be of some interest! All the best, and happy holidays, whatever you may be celebrating ! Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:44, 22 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]