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Talk:Geography of Scotland in the Middle Ages/GA1

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Reviewer: Eric Corbett (talk · contribs) 17:53, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments to follow over the next day or so.

Thanks for taking this on.--SabreBD (talk) 23:25, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • "More than 50 royal burghs have been identified by the end of the thirteenth century ...". That "have been identified by the end of the thirteenth century" reads rather oddly to me. Could we say something like "More than 50 royal burghs are known to have been esstablished by the end of the thirteenth century"?
 Done--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... the boundaries of Scotland gradually expanded from a small area under direct control of the kings of Alba in the east". It wasn't really the boundaries that expanded was it? Perhaps something like "boundaries of Scotland were gradually extended"?
 Done Its a hard one, not sure there was a concept of borders in the beginning of the period.--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After the decline of Iona as a religious centre, as a result of Viking raids from about 800, and despite attempts to establish a new one at Dunkeld". I'm tending to lose track of what "new one" is referring to by the time I reach it in the sentence.
 Done--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Physical

  • "Some of these were further divided by mountains, major rivers and marshes." Some of what?
 Done "regions".--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Southern Uplands, and particularly the Highlands were economically less productive and much more difficult to govern. This provided Scotland with a form of protection, as minor English incursions had to cross the difficult southern uplands". Is it "Southern Uplands" or "southern uplands"?
 Done Now consistent.--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "But it also made those areas problematic to govern for Scottish kings and much of the political history of the era after the wars of independence circulated around attempts to resolve problems of entrenched localism in these regions." What areas? What regions? "Circulated around" is rather odd phrasing: "centred on"?
 Done--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Settlement and demography

  • "... and early burgesses that were usually English or Flemish". I'm not following that. And is it really necessary to link "English"?
 Done No. No need. I also removed the extraneous "that".--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Most of the early burghs were on the east coast, and among them were the largest and wealthiest, including Aberdeen, Berwick, Perth and Edinburgh, whose growth was facilitated by trade with the continent and in the south-west Glasgow, Ayr and Kirkcudbright were aided by the less profitable sea trade with Ireland and to a lesser extent France and Spain." That sentence needs to be split.
 Done--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Burghs were typically surrounded by a palisade or had a castle and usually a market place, with a widened high street or junction, often marked by a mercat cross, beside houses for the burgesses and other inhabitants." Does "beside houses" mean "as well as houses"?
Yes, literally beside. Does that need to be clearer?--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

'Political

  • "... the creation of administrative sheriffidoms" Is "sheriffidoms" really correct?
Yes. I linked this directly.--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Edinburgh only began to emerge as the capital in the reign of James III, at the cost of considerable unpopularity." Unpopularity to Edinburgh or to James III?
 Done Edinburgh's popularity probably remained much the same.--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "This left only the small area of the Debatable Lands at the south-west end of the border, which would be divided by a French-mediated commission in 1552." Left it for what? To be disputed over by England and Scotland?
 Done Clarified - hopefully.--SabreBD (talk) 08:31, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good. We're done here now I think. Eric Corbett 11:29, 2 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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