Talk:Gay Witch Hunt/GA1

GA Review

This generally looks good, but some prose issues. Please go through the ENTIRE article, as the following are only samples:

"The Office—the show's 30th episode overall." – "The Office, and the show's 30th episode overall."
""Gay Witch Hunt" did fairly well as far as ratings go." – "as far as ratings go" needs to go
"Critics seemed to generally enjoy "Gay Witch Hunt"." – ""Gay Witch Hunt" generally received praise from critics."

Gary King (talk) 20:06, 28 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Went through the article a few times, this is what I found: [1] --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 14:15, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

A few more prose points:

"In the episode Michael discovers " → "In the episode, Michael discovers "
The term "ratings" is not explained. Nielson Ratings needs to be mentioned (and linked) somewhere, just like other The Office episode articles of Good Article or higher quality.
"Gay Witch Hunt" did fairly ratings-wise." can still be improved – read it over and over again, and it won't always flow well. Check out how other The Office episode articles of Good Article or higher quality do it.
"9 p.m." → "9:00 p.m."
For numerical ranges like "18-49 and 24-54 ", use en dashes per WP:DASH
"of Cinemablend.com, stated " – does not need to be italicized because it does not meet the criteria found at MOS:TITLE

Gary King (talk) 17:28, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I've fixed all those problems, except the dashes. From what I see it looks like those numbers already use the en dashes. Am I not seeing something? --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 18:32, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Regular dash is like this: -; en dash is this: –; em dash is this: —. They increase in length. Gary King (talk) 18:44, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well looking at the article, it appears that the dashes between the ages are en dashes. --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 18:52, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Yep, it appears that they have now been converted. A few more points:

"and #1 among" – "and number one among" - usually, spell things out unless there's a good reason not to. Also, "second" is spelt out, so this especially should be.
"since "Dwight's Speech, and" – missing a double quote
"Steve West, of Cinemablend.com, stated that" – completely unnecessary commas.

Please check the article throughout for similar issues as the ones I have raised above. Gary King (talk) 20:47, 29 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Are there any updates? Gary King (talk) 05:35, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the changes I've made, tell me what you think: [2] --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:14, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The episode list in the infobox is center-aligned when it should be left-aligned.
"It is revealed, that after their kiss" → "It is revealed, that after their kiss" – unnecessary comma
"Pam got decided" → "Pam decided"
Why does the tense change from past to present, starting from "Roy vows to win Pam back."?
"Sales Representative" → "sales representative"

This is all from the first section. Please check the article again, and then I will check back on the progress. Cheers! Gary King (talk) 17:29, 5 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed the episode list and have made some minor prose edits. Expect more within the next few days. --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 15:12, 6 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Keep me updated, and let me know when I should check the article again. Gary King (talk) 20:20, 6 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

More changes: [3] --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 17:11, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"notoriety."" → "notoriety"." – move the period out because if you read "loved Oscar's self-deprecating reaction to his newfound notoriety." it is not a full sentence, per WP:PUNC
"his job"," → "his job,"" – in this case, it is a full sentence

Gary King (talk) 17:25, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 17:27, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, excellent work once again Gary King (talk) 17:29, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]