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Talk:Gary Roberts (ice hockey)/GA1

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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 13:05, 12 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • Do we really need to link "Canadian" to Canada, it seems like over-linking to me.
    • I am personally indifferent, but the link is pretty much standard across all hockey articles. I'm not married to keeping it if you think it is a pointless link, however. Resolute 01:40, 13 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Roberts was a member of the Flames' 1989 Stanley Cup championship team.." While this is fine in North American English, for us Brits there needs to be clarification that it is a team that won the Stanley Cup.
  • Link points, while goals is obvious, points isn't.
Early life
  • "Roberts was born May 23.." would be better as "Roberts was born on May 23.."
Playing career, junior
  • "Roberts improved to 57 points in his second season, 1983–84, and.." I don't think the clarification of the season is needed, though I won't object if you do want to keep it.
  • "Returning to Ottawa for his third junior season.." It might be worth sticking a note here to explain why he kept playing for the 67's, even though Calgary selected him.
  • Is there a suitable page to link "OHL's second All-Star Team" to, so that people know what it means. Does the OHL play an all-star game, or is it just a team of the year for the league? (All-star might be appropriate!)
  • "In his first professional action, Roberts scored four goals.." action should probably be changed to "stint" or something similar. I initially read this as meaning one action, ie, one movement or something.
  • "15–3–2 record.." needs explaining.
Playing career, Calgary Flames
  • MOS:IMAGELOCATION suggests an image should not be left aligned directly after a section heading, personally I prefer them on the right, rather than staggering them, but again, I'm certainly not going to kick up a fuss about this if you want to leave it be.
    • Despite that MOS, I think I'll leave it. IIRC, another part of the MOS suggests that images should face the text, while dropping it lower would cause it to bleed into the next section. Lacking strong options, I'd like to leave it as is. Open to shifting right if others feel differently. Resolute 01:40, 13 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "..Roberts bounced between Calgary and Moncton." Not sure this is really encyclopaedic language.
  • "1987–88 was Roberts first full.." Don't start a sentence with a number (unless it is written, but I really don't think that is appropriate here!)
  • "..he improved to 28 points in 74 games.." I'm not sure if this is really an improvement: the previous season he had scored almost a point every other game, but 28 in 74 is only just better than a point every three games.
    • Sorry, he was a point-per-game in the AHL, but this was an improvement on his NHL stats. I've clarified.
  • "..while his 282 penalty minutes were ultimately the highest total of his career, and the first of five consecutive seasons over 200 minutes in penalties." I think this is missing some words, and should be something like ".. five consecutive season in which he recorded over 200 minutes in penalties." Or something similar.
  • "Roberts joined the Flames in a role as a grinder." This just sounds odd. Perhaps a simpler "in a grinder role." It might be best merged with the sentence after it though.
  • As you are not linking to Joe Nieuwendyk, I think he surname would suffice.
  • "..to lift a two-pound dumbbell.." Could you put a metric conversion in please. But that's like.. less than a kilogram right? Wow!
  • "While he played only 35 games, .." I think "Although" would be better than "While" to start this sentence.
Playing career, Carolina and Toronto
  • "..Roberts scored recorded 49 points in 61 games." Obviously only one of "scored" and "recorded" should be there!
  • "..and assumed leadership.." Missing a word between "and" and "assumed": either "he" or "Roberts" I assume?
  • You previously used "..the Smythe Division final..", is there a reason that Final is capitalised for "Eastern Conference Final"?
  • "The Maple Leafs signed him to a one-year contract extension for shortly.." I'm guessing "for" is not meant to be there?
Playing career, Florida, Pittsburgh and Tampa Bay
  • "..Roberts joined Nieuwendyk in signing two-year deals.." I think this should be "Roberts joined Nieuwendyk in signing a two-year deal.." though I'm not 100% sure. Maybe rephrase it to "Roberts and Nieuwendyk both signed two-year deals.." to be on the safe side?
  • "The deal was completed at the February 27, 2007, trade deadline.." Not sure the specific date is necessary?
  • Similar for the date of the game against Buffalo.
Fitness and training
  • "..including several NHLers." I don't think "NHLers" is an encyclopaedic term.
Personal life
  • "..which helps youth get involved in sports." Might be better written "..which helps young people get involved in sports."
Career statistics
  • I wonder (and it is beyond the remit of this review,) if the table here would benefit from being sortable? Something to consider for the future maybe?
  • However, the table does need row and columns scopes, as per MOS:DTT. (note that this is not a GA requirement)
    • This is something that came up in my Lanny McDonald FAC. My change there satisfied the reviewer, but I want to download a screen reader and test out whether it works properly. I'll probably be suggesting a bot task to change all of our statistical tables when I hit on a confirmed working format. Resolute 01:40, 13 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Awards and honours
  • Again, row scopes are needed.(note that this is not a GA requirement)
    • Hmm. Passed review in the aforementioned McDonald FAC in this format. Like the table above, I'll be playing with formats whenever I get around to downloading a screen reader. Resolute 01:40, 13 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • Look good on the whole.

All in all, nice work as always, and I look forward to your responses. Harrias talk 14:12, 12 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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