Talk:Gabriela Andersen-Schiess

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The article is badly written

This article is a disaster. First of all, what does this mean:

"Fourteen minutes into the 1984 Olympic marathon, Joan Benoit began to pull away from the rest of the pack. She went on to win in a time of 2 hours, 24 minutes, and 52 seconds. Twenty minutes after Benoit finished, then 39-year-old Andersen-Schiess entered the stadium."

The marathon started. Joan began to pull away and eventually won a certain time. Twenty minutes after she finished, Andersen entered the stadium. Where from? Where had she been before that? Why do I care, in an article about Gabriela Andersen, how many minutes after the start did Joan Benoit begin to pull away? It is all very confusing.

Then, this:

"The crowd gasped in horror as she staggered onto the track, her torso twisted, her left arm limp, her right leg mostly seized. "

When I read this, the first thing I think is that she was hit by a truck. I need to read all the way through the paragraph, and to the next one, to find out it was due to heat exhaustion. But until I reach that sentence, I'm absolutely confused, I have no idea what is going on with her. I don't know where she comes from and I have absolutely no clue as to why she is staggering with a twisted torso etc etc.

And this:

"Her time of 2:48:45 would have won the gold medal in the first five Olympic marathons."

What is this? Why is this relevant? She gained worldwide fame because of the recording of her staggering towards the finishing line - which is not mentioned at all. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 188.2.11.45 (talk) 15:02, 30 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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