Talk:Gómez de Alvarado/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 19:18, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:18, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

No DABs, external links OK
After using the full name for the first time, refer to him using his last name only unless there are other Alvardos being referenced at the same time
- Went through and changed all mentions of Gómez I found without any of his brothers also being mentioned in the same sentence.
No need to cite stuff in the lede as long as they're covered in the main body
- Ok.
Best to keep things in chronological order in the lede
- Fixed.
When did he marry Bernardina?
- I couldn't find a source saying when they were married, just that they were married.
with massacres, looting, village burning, rapes, and kidnapping indigenous people for slave labor committed by their men being commonplace. awkward
- Split the sentence and reworded it.
  - Massacres, looting, village burning, rapes, and kidnapping indigenous people for slave labor were committed by their men ~~being~~ and were commonplace Better, but still awkward. You need to something like those activities were commonplace or frequently committed by their men.
    - Changed to Atrocities, such as massacres, looting, village burning, rapes, and kidnapping indigenous people for slave labor, were committed commonly by their men.
90 cavalry forces awkward
- Changed to 90 cavalry units.
  - Alvarado commanded 90 cavalry units to a Spanish victory in the Battle of Reinohuelén Not quite what I meant. Were they individual cavalrymen? If so, say so. And he commanded them "in the Spanish victory at the Battle..."--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 01:25, 15 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    - Changed to 90 cavalrymen.--Pizzaking13 (talk) 23:18, 15 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
He ~~partook~~ in the Almagrist victory participated
- Fixed.
~~attainted~~ a pardon received
- Fixed.
~~bestowed~~ the title of "Very Noble and Very Loyal" by Spanish received and add "the" before "Spanish"
- Fixed.
Diego de Almagro II ~~to exert~~ revenge "in revenge"
- Fixed.
Don't refer to Almagro's son as II after the first time. We already know that the father is dead and can't be confused between the two--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 13:32, 27 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed.--Pizzaking13 (talk) 20:26, 8 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]