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Talk:Full Circle: Carnegie Hall 2000/Archive 1

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Sources

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Extended content

--Another Believer (Talk) 16:27, 6 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

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Thanks for working on this article. I made some changes (hopefully improvements):

  • I found that using ""s in citation templates is better because bots can better recognize the templates that way
  • the year of the Grammy would require some explanation (it's presented the following for the same year) so I shortened this, so one would not need to bother
  • I formatted the ragas/instruments in accordance with literature/how uncommon foreign words are formatted
  • the lead was overlinked
  • I removed the mention of Barry Phillips from the lead and the main text, because playing the tambura is not a significant contribution (the repetitive plucking of four strings is not worthy of mention, nowadays often replaced by machines, and I suspect only mentioned in the intro track because he is another student of Shankar)
  • I fixed the indirect quotation from the Chicago Reader
  • I replaced an easteregg link
  • I removed "see also" links that were only tenuously related to the album
  • I removed mention of the knighthood which is not substantiated by the source to be related to the album
  • I also think one could consider making Tanmoy Bose a red link (he's already linked a bit but notability is not a given).

Hekerui (talk) 22:25, 10 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your improvements as well. I still have work to do on the article before GAN. I am not sure I understand the purpose of the italicized words throughout the article (instruments, etc.) --Another Believer (Talk) 22:31, 10 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Italics is how I found ragas and Indian instruments are formatted in the The New Grove Dictionary and other scholarly works. Together with the MOS which prescribes italics for "isolated foreign words that are not common in everyday English" I converted to this usage. On the other hand, some specialized works don't use italics (I guess because the words are not considered unfamiliar to their readership, or they simply didn't bother with such minutiae) or mix their usage (Shankar's autobio uses italics for ragas and dances but not the instruments). Hekerui (talk) 13:19, 11 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I am not familiar with that practice but I am not bothered by your edits and will let the GA reviewer decide if italics are necessary. Thanks for your contributions and feel free to keep an eye on the article as I continue its expansion. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:30, 12 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ajay Sharma?

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Hekerui, are you able to confirm if Ajay Sharma performed on the album? Allmusic does not credit Sharma, but a Times of India article mentions Sharma (see Chart performance and recognition) section. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:35, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Shankar names him as tanpura player in "Introduction II". He's also in the booklet for Anoushka's CD. Hekerui (talk) 14:01, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you. Added Sharma to credits with Times of India as source. --Another Believer (Talk) 15:52, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Album cover image

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The album cover image within the infobox appears slightly blurry to me (I uploaded the image from Amazon back in February). If anyone is aware of a better image or knows how to improve the existing one, feel free to update! --Another Believer (Talk) 17:16, 15 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Questions/suggestions for improvement

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  • I suggest {{Cite press release}} for the prnewswire.com and orsymphony.org sources as they are press releases
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • can we claim "generally favorable" critical reception with only two somewhat substantive reviews? especially since one of them is not from a music magazine, but a wellness magazine (which should me made clear in my opinion)
Removed claim. I guess I was associating the Grammy win with favorable opinion as well. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "generally considered to be her father's successor in her ability on the sitar" - by whom? sounds too promotional (understandable, as it is taken from a press release)
Removed. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Shankar has stated that the Carnegie Hall performance ..." - the flow of that sentence needs to be improved
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • the quotation "The title was thought out ..." hardly stands out, perhaps use a blockquote or quote box?
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Shankar felt he was successful" - how do we know what he felt? he stated it
Done. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "relatively short period of time" - overly complicated construction and "relatively" is vague, this can be stated with one word
Replaced with "quickly"--does that work? --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, thanks.
  • "... and how the album relates." - it's not clear what that means
Changed to "how the album exemplifies its title"... he uses "fits in" but I did not want to use a direct quote. I think "exemplifies its title" works because the Billboard article discusses the meaning of "Full Circle" and a quote from Shankar re: the album's title appears in a quote box within the WP article. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • how can Ghosh "admit" that the recognition "would not affect his future playing"? the sentence construction is weird
Better?. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • what makes the NAV Music Awards worthy of mention?
I don't see why it should not be included. No concern re: article length. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I'm concerned that this a vanity award from some company and nothing substantial, but in a quick search I couldn't clear that up.
  • "Angel's Shankar Tours with Dad" - weird external link, starts in the middle of the article
The page linked to includes a vast majority of the article. Page 1 contains part of just one sentence. --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
My bad.

Best regards Hekerui (talk) 14:01, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for your assistance and suggestions. Should Phillips and Sharma be listed in the composition section as tanpura performers? --Another Believer (Talk) 16:17, 16 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
In my opinion, absolutely not. Ghosh is correct - valuable help with article structure from an interview about the article subject, pretty cool. Hekerui (talk) 00:14, 18 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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